A Way to Confirm Your Husband’s True Feelings - Chapter 18
“Yes. I suppose there’s been more to do here than when we were in the territory. The other ladies I met at the dressmaker’s said it’s the same for them.”
For the past week, Beatrice had been doing her best to keep herself busy—preparing for the New Year’s banquet, replying to party invitations sent by nobles, and taking care of the dowry and personal finances she had been putting off.
Would it have come across by now—that I’m a woman who can manage her own life without relying on her husband?
Unsure, Beatrice decided to add one more thing to the mix.
“Oh, and… I know it’s only our first year of marriage, but starting next year, would it be alright if I spent the season on my own? Of course, if there’s work that absolutely requires you to be in the capital, that’s understandable. But I get the feeling parties aren’t really your thing…”
At her suggestion, Caesar’s expression visibly stiffened.
But Beatrice, too focused on hiding her real thoughts—“Actually, I really want to go to the parties with you. I want to dance the first waltz with you as my partner. I want to proudly show everyone that you’re my husband!”—did not notice the change in his face.
“Beatrice, has something… happened since coming to the capital? Something that upset you, perhaps…”
At his cautious question, she felt a pang of guilt but still shook her head. She even forced a faint smile, pretending nothing was wrong.
“No, nothing at all.”
It seemed he was genuinely curious about why her behavior had changed. Or, perhaps, just as Regina had theorized, her sudden disinterest had sparked his curiosity instead.
“I see.”
Her short reply left Caesar momentarily speechless, and silence returned to the table.
Beatrice, meanwhile, debated whether she should say something, even just one or two words to break the ice. But what kind of topic could she bring up without overdoing it? What kind of conversation would keep her from rambling?
Just as she was weighing those thoughts, Caesar asked again.
“I’m sure it’s nothing, but… could something have happened at the duchy? You’ve seemed unusually tired ever since that day.”
Beatrice brushed it off with practiced nonchalance. She wanted to know his true feelings, but she didn’t yet have the courage to share her own truth. Even if it was cowardly, she couldn’t help it. Under the table, she clenched her hands tightly.
“There’s no way something happened at my family home. I think I’m just tired from all the season preparations… And I guess I’ve been more nervous than I expected. It’s been a while since I attended social events, and now I’m also the lady of a household.”
“I see. I hadn’t considered how demanding the social season can be. Is there anything I can help with?”
“No, the preparations are nearly done. But it would be nice if you could accompany me to a few of the balls I’ve selected.”
“If that’s all, I’d be glad to.”
“Then there’s no problem. Thank you, Honey.”
As she gave him a soft smile, Caesar looked at her in silence, as if he were trying to confirm something intently.
“But… why…”
He kept glancing at her as if gauging her mood, often hesitating before speaking. She wished he would just say what was on his mind already. Today, more than ever, his reserved and serious nature felt frustrating.
Until now, Beatrice, immersed in the bliss of newlywed life, had never realized it—but thinking back, Caesar had never once voiced an opinion about anything since their marriage. He had never said whether he liked or disliked any of her actions.
That’s why he hadn’t said anything about her visiting him morning and night. And now, even after she’d stopped doing it, he still hadn’t said anything.
She used to think his silence was out of kindness or consideration, but now it felt like suffocating indifference.
So far in their marriage, the only one to propose, act, or express emotions had been Beatrice.
She had believed that his quiet acceptance of her actions was his way of showing love. But now she realized.
It wasn’t love. He had merely been enduring it.
