A Way to Confirm Your Husband’s True Feelings - Chapter 23
On any other day, Beatrice would have found it distasteful if someone approached her merely because of the name Estern.
But how fickle the human heart was—thinking that Caesar Valentin might be proposing marriage for such reasons actually pleased her. Not once had she resented being born into the Estern family, but never had she been as proud of it as she was today.
Even if it was for political necessity, if marrying him meant being by his side, then she believed they could at least build affection over time. If not love, then friendship. If not even that, then at least familial attachment.
Beatrice was already so blinded by infatuation that she could no longer make a sound judgment. And so, when she faced Margrave Valentin, with those piercing violet eyes that felt like they could stab through her chest, she melted like sherbet on a summer day.
“I never imagined we’d meet like this, Your Excellency. The hyacinths are beautiful. Are they for me?”
As the chamberlain had said, Caesar, holding a bouquet, was waiting for her in the drawing room.
Suppressing her trembling heart, Beatrice greeted him as if it were nothing.
Caesar silently handed her the bouquet. In her eyes, that simple and blunt gesture didn’t feel lacking—it felt like the proper restraint of a true knight.
“How did you know hyacinths are my favorite flower?”
Of course, it was a made-up line. Her favorite flower had always been the rose. But from this day on, that position would forever belong to the hyacinth.
“Is that so? I’m glad to hear it.”
Caesar answered with his usual indifferent face, devoid of any smile. But even the tiniest note of warmth in his voice sent her heart fluttering.
He was the first person who had ever made her feel this way. And in that moment, Beatrice resolved to stake her life on the man who stirred her heart for the first time.
She had known from the start that someone born into nobility could not marry for love alone. So if he merely needed her, that was enough. She didn’t mind if he didn’t truly like her.
If she could love him that much, and if they lived side by side long enough, surely he would come to care for her in turn. Rather than marry someone she felt nothing for, wouldn’t it be far happier to marry someone she could love with all her heart? So she thought, in the rashness of youth.
No matter his intentions in approaching her, Beatrice willingly took the hand Caesar offered. Whatever the reason, as long as she could have him, nothing else mattered.
That day, there were five or six other gentlemen visiting Estern ducal residence to call on her.
But Beatrice received only Caesar.
She spent the afternoon strolling through the garden with him, pouring out every positive signal she could muster. She met his eyes and smiled, leaned her head on his shoulder, and gently slipped her hand into his as they walked arm in arm.
Even the densest man would have realized: this woman was desperate to marry him. With her whole body, she was shouting “Yes!” There would’ve been no reason for Caesar to think twice.
Everything moved swiftly afterward. With the Lady of Estern’s overt approval, Margrave Valentin sent his formal proposal to the duke’s household the very next week. Three months later, Beatrice married Caesar in a splendid ceremony.
When the proposal arrived, her father Duke Estern had seemed hesitant, but only briefly. Seeing both his youngest daughter’s eagerness and the Margrave’s promise, the duke gave his blessing soon after.
Thus, Beatrice became a joyful May bride, believing with all her heart that her future would be as blissful as her wedding day.
Was it all wrong from the beginning, then? Did Caesar truly propose just for my background? And I…
Even though I said I’d be fine with a loveless marriage, did I still believe I could change his heart…?
But then, the way he acted in the territory—it really did seem like he had fallen in love with her. He never once sought help from her father, nor did he ever show signs of wanting anything from her.
Her thoughts circled back to the start.
Now, looking back, she realized that just as Caesar’s proposal had been hasty, so too had her own decision been reckless.
And yet, Beatrice thought, even if she could go back, she would still make the same choice.
Which meant now was the time to take responsibility for it.
She had accepted a marriage without love, so even if Caesar truly had no affection for her, she had to see it through to the end.
She just wanted to know—after such a dreamlike honeymoon—whether his lack of feeling for her was really the truth.
Even if what she uncovered was a pit full of mud. Even if it meant she would be left with a wound that would never heal.
