A Way to Confirm Your Husband’s True Feelings - Chapter 24
IV.
A week later, it was the day of the New Year’s banquet.
Every spring, the New Year’s banquet of the empire marked the start of the social season for the nobility, who would open salons and gatherings in various regions. Although there was often a long recess during the sweltering summer, the season generally continued until winter arrived.
After the autumn harvest festival ended, the cold winter would arrive, and the nobles would return to their own estates to close out the year. For Beatrice, who was born into a noble household, the beginning and end of the season were as natural as flowers blooming in spring or snow falling in winter.
Preparing for and attending parties was as routine as breathing. Yet in what was now her third season since her debut, Beatrice found herself thinking, for the first time, that she wished she could just throw all the banquets and balls away. The reason, of course, was the unresolved issue with her husband.
Over the past week, she had faithfully followed Regina’s instructions. Though she sometimes felt tempted to stop, what with Caesar’s continued lack of response, she had no better alternative. So, as if out of habit, she continued to maintain her distance.
However, there was one fatal flaw in Regina’s method.
‘It’s just… too hard.’
Her face pale from lack of sleep, Beatrice sighed internally. The problem was all too simple. She missed her husband. Terribly.
‘Regina said once a month was the recommended frequency for sharing a bed, so from now… another fifteen days…’
She had hardly seen Caesar properly in nearly two weeks. She was starting to experience withdrawal symptoms.
That composed face which brought her mind and body peace just by looking at it, his uniquely cool yet solid scent, the warmth she felt when wrapped in his arms, the firm but gentle grip when he held her hand…
Every little detail sprang vividly to mind and tormented her. Like someone fasting who could think only of food, the more she told herself not to dwell on him, the more she missed him.
She had grown so used to the routine of falling asleep beside her husband that trying to sleep alone in a cold bed meant she couldn’t rest properly at all.
She would pull the blanket up to her chin, stare blankly at the ceiling with open eyes, and only doze off as dawn broke.
And once she did finally fall asleep, it was only natural that Caesar would appear in her dreams.
‘Should I be grateful I can at least see him in dreams…?’
Even as she wandered through the dreamscape, Beatrice thought so.
The husband in her dreams was annoyingly true to life. Since it wasn’t reality, it would’ve been nice if he at least said something sweet.
But even in dreams, he simply looked down at her without a word, then quietly turned his back and left the room. She wanted to reach out and stop him, aching with regret, but before she could, her consciousness was swept back into sleep.
One day, unable to bear the insomnia any longer, she even stole one of his shirts when the laundry maid wasn’t paying attention.
Clutching the stolen shirt to her chest as she tried to sleep, she sniffled in sorrow. The scent of her husband lingered in the fabric, but it was only a substitute. What she wanted was not the smell—she wanted the man it belonged to.
Even as Beatrice gradually went mad, time continued to pass.
And today, attending the imperial banquet with her husband, she finally faced Caesar properly inside the carriage bound for the capital. Suppressing her joy with all her strength, she sat across from him.
The air inside the carriage was cold and dry. Though the spring breeze had yet to fully drive away the chill, it was the awkward tension between them that made the atmosphere feel even colder.
“…You look beautiful.”
Amid her gloomy thoughts while staring out the window, a compliment came out of nowhere and reached Beatrice’s ears. Startled, she turned her head, only to find her husband looking flustered.
“Are you talking about me?”
“Yes.”
It was the usual curt reply, but Beatrice felt her ears grow hot. However, where she would normally have felt flustered or delighted, suspicion now took root.
Why was he suddenly complimenting her out of the blue? Was it to ease the awkwardness before they met others? Did he want to lower her guard and bring back the woman who used to smile foolishly at the mere sight of him?
The grievances she held against him twisted into resistance and petulance in her heart.
“Not just today—you always do. But especially today.”
Whether he sensed her inner turmoil or not, Caesar added that while keeping his gaze fixed on the floor of the carriage.
Well, he had never been stingy with compliments before. When she showed off new dresses or wore the jewelry he had given her, he always told her she looked pretty or beautiful.
“I suppose it is an important day, after all.”
Today, Beatrice wore a peach-colored dress suited to the season, draped with a translucent shawl. She had adorned herself with a pale green diamond necklace and matching hairpiece—part of the wedding gifts she had received from Caesar—and wore makeup more vivid than usual. Even by her own assessment, she looked quite presentable.
Still, she hadn’t expected her husband to compliment her like this in such an awkward atmosphere.
