A Way to Confirm Your Husband’s True Feelings - Chapter 5
Whenever she had told him she was happy, he had awkwardly responded that he was happy too.
When she had insisted that they always eat together unless it was absolutely unavoidable, he had readily agreed.
There had never been any disagreement about sharing a bedroom. In fact, when Beatrice had initially considered setting up a separate chamber for herself for the sake of formality, it had been Caesar who grew anxious, asking if something had made her uncomfortable.
For hours, Beatrice remained locked in the bedroom, her emotions swinging wildly like a madwoman’s.
Yes, I did act too clingy.
No—he’s the one who confused me first!
She oscillated between sadness and anger, her heart growing more restless with each passing moment.
Part of her wanted to chase after Caesar all the way to the imperial palace and demand an explanation—what exactly had he meant by those words to Sir Schultz? Was that truly how he felt?
Yet another part of her was shackled by guilt for eavesdropping, as well as by fear—fear that Caesar would confirm his words were indeed sincere.
That was the source of her turmoil. She had no idea what to do next.
How was she supposed to face Caesar when he returned tonight?
Should she confront him directly, ask him about the conversation she had overheard? Or should she feign ignorance and continue living as they always had?
One thing was certain—whichever path she chose, her life would never be the same.
She would either lose the man she loved forever, or she would stay by his side in a marriage devoid of true love.
But neither of those options sat well with her.
And so, her thoughts went in circles, returning to where she had started.
‘What am I supposed to do…?’
For Beatrice, whose entire world had been built upon trust and love for her family, this felt like having the very ground beneath her feet suddenly crumble away. She was unable to think clearly, unable to regain her composure.
‘I want to see my family.’
Just as she was about to be swallowed by despair for the first time in her life, the word family surfaced in her mind, bringing with it a different sense of stability—her real family, not the one she had created through marriage, but the one she had been born into.
Thinking of her parents and her sisters, she felt a small flicker of strength return to her.
Yes. Fortunately, she had a place to return to.
And not just any family—her birth family was one of the most powerful houses in the empire, a fortress of support unlike any other.
She wasn’t sure if she should consider that a stroke of luck or not.
Come to think of it, their marriage was still relatively new, and Caesar had yet to gain any significant advantage from having such an extraordinary in-law family.
Given more time, she might have provided him with countless opportunities through her connections.
Of course, it wasn’t as if she was planning to leave him just yet…
Even after hearing what he had said that morning, Beatrice couldn’t completely let go of her love for Caesar.
She had loved him too deeply to simply erase those feelings in half a day.
And that was precisely what made this so utterly miserable.
‘I should go to the ducal manor before I sink any further into despair. If I greet Mother and Father, and if I see Sister Freya, maybe I’ll feel a little calmer.’
Freya, the eldest of the five daughters of Duke Estern, was the wisest person Beatrice knew.
It had been Freya who had soothed her when she had felt a brief moment of fear before the wedding.
It had also been Freya who, through letters, had generously shared advice on managing life in the territory after Beatrice’s marriage.
Surely, Freya would have a solution for this situation.
And she would, without a doubt, offer her youngest sister the warmth and comfort she so desperately needed right now.
Besides, just yesterday, Caesar himself had casually mentioned that they should visit the Duke and Duchess soon.
So, if Beatrice visited today, he wouldn’t find it strange.
Freya, now the Duchess of Ashburn, was also a high-ranking official in the Imperial Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Though she primarily resided in the Ashburn Duchy, she still kept an office at their family home, as she often had matters to discuss with their father.
It would have been best to send a messenger ahead to confirm whether Freya was currently at the ducal manor.
But right now, Beatrice couldn’t bear to be alone.
If she went straight there and waited, there was a good chance she would be able to see her sister by evening.
Once she had received Freya’s counsel… she would have to make whatever decision was best for both herself and Caesar.
If necessary, she might even have to consider divorce.
At that thought, Beatrice bit down on her lower lip so hard it turned pale.
Even separate from what Caesar had said, just imagining leaving him made her chest feel as though it were being torn apart.
Until yesterday—no, until mere hours ago—such a thought had never even crossed her mind.
And yet… if he found her and their marriage to be such a bothersome burden that the mere mention of it made him vent to his subordinate, then perhaps the only proper course of action was to set him free.
Before she could spiral into further negativity, Beatrice shook her head, forcing herself to focus.
‘I won’t decide anything until I speak with Freya.’
Determined, she finished dressing in her outdoor attire.
Once ready, she climbed into the carriage that the servants had prepared for her.
How different this felt from when she had first arrived in the capital, full of excitement and joy.
Now, as she made her way to her family home, all she felt was a heavy, unbearable sorrow.
