After I Died, My Husband Went Mad - Chapter 131
“The one who should be the most heartbroken and in pain right now is me, not you. And look at this situation—I’m here, unable to even indulge in my own sadness, trying to stop you from doing something foolish. Is this really your way of worrying about me?”
Dehart’s eyes widened, and his mouth slowly opened. It was a look he hadn’t seen before. She actually knew how to be angry. The realization shook his golden eyes.
“Think again. Are you worrying about me, or are you worried about the future you’ll suffer because of me?”
He couldn’t say anything, too ashamed to speak, his teeth clenched tightly. Sebelia stared at him without changing her expression.
Dehart stood silent for a long while, and Sebelia felt there was no use in continuing the conversation.
“I don’t know anymore. Do what you want.”
Just as Sebelia reached for the door, a small, faint voice brushed her ear. At the same time, a large hand covered hers.
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
If I can’t even risk my life for you, then what am I supposed to do for you? Dehart’s chest burned with anguish.
“What else can I do?”
Sebelia turned to find his face, he looked as if he might cry any second. His golden eyes were misted over with tears, and when his eyelids fluttered, it seemed as though the tears would fall at any moment.
“I was wrong. I was foolish and ignorant. So please, don’t be angry. I’ll do whatever you want.”
His voice trembled as it poured out like rain. Within his shaking eyes, regret, despair, yearning, and pleading all tangled together in a chaotic mess.
“Sebelia…”
His low voice dug deep into her ear. At the same time, the tears that flowed from his eyes fell onto Sebelia’s shoulder.
At that moment, a chill ran down her spine. It was an intense and dreadful shiver, unlike anything she had ever felt. Sebelia widened her eyes. Her gaze met his trembling golden eyes. She bit her lip and turned her face away.
The shiver rose from her fingertips.
The sensation was so intense it took her breath away, and she squeezed her eyes shut. No, no, she told herself. But the feeling gnawed at her, impossible to ignore. It was the same feeling she had when he knelt before her. The feeling she had tried so hard to forget.
I…
Did I want you to break down like this?
Her rational mind finally succumbed to emotion. She had to accept that she couldn’t escape her past. Even though she had run away and had a funeral for it, Sebelia Inverness, the ghost of her past, could not be cast off.
A deep sense of defeat surged from the bottom of Sebelia’s heart.
But at the same time, a chilling shiver enveloped her body. It was the same sensation she felt every time she saw the man groaning in anguish, desperately craving the dead Sebelia. It was then that she sensed the resentment, long buried in her heart, slowly unraveling.
“Ah.”
A sigh, full of mixed emotions, escaped her. She buried her face in her hands and exhaled shakily. How had she, pretending to be noble, confidently sworn that she could leave her past behind?
She was overwhelmed by a deep resentment and hatred she had never wanted to feel—emotions she hadn’t even known existed within her. And when she saw the man regretful, a strange joy and satisfaction flooded her, washing over her like a wave.
Sebelia’s stomach churned.
“Se…Bella?”
Dehart called her name hesitantly. Sebelia shook her head violently, as if doing so would make his voice disappear. As if his presence would vanish from in front of her.
“Wait.”
She raised her hand to push him away. Dehart stepped back weakly. His changed demeanor only stirred up an intense emotion inside her once again.
You shouldn’t be this way.
You acted as though it didn’t matter if I disappeared. That’s why you were able to leave me so easily. You thought I’d never regret it or change, that’s why you could just vanish without a word.
“Now, after all this…”
Why are you doing this now? Why are you shaking me up? Why are you awakening feelings, resentments, I didn’t even know I had?
Sebelia let out a hollow laugh. Dehart looked at her with confused eyes. His hands hovered, as if he wanted to hold her, but he hesitated. Sebelia looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.
Dehart froze, unable to move.
“Sebelia, you—”
He bit his lip, unsure of what to do, his face pale. He fumbled with a handkerchief, pulling it out, then stuffing it back in his pocket, unable to calm himself as he paced around her. Each time he did, Sebelia felt an overwhelming sense of self-loathing.
She had made him like this. The man who had always been too busy despising and pushing her away, now kneeling in front of her, lost and helpless at her slightest tear. And, it brought her joy.
“Ah…”
This was her ugly, pitiful true self. Sebelia had no choice but to accept it. Every time she saw him struggling because of her, a voice whispered in her ear.
Just like the old Sebelia, she wanted him to suffer. To feel the bruise on his heart, to cry bloody tears, to spend every night sighing in misery.
No, actually, I want him to struggle even more…
As the resentment hidden inside her spilled out, her shoulders trembled. She knew this wasn’t right, she knew she shouldn’t be feeling this way. But it was too late.
No matter how much she denied it and tried to cut ties, she was Sebelia Inverness. The wretched Duchess, abandoned by her husband, wounded, and in despair.
