Becoming the Guide of the Mysophobic Villain? Absolutely Not! - Chapter 173
Even as I was forced to get up, I gritted my teeth audibly. Claude was at a loss.
“Since you came home yesterday, you’ve been in a bad mood. You won’t tell me why, and you’re angry and refusing to eat—how am I supposed to…”
“Oh, never mind that. Now that I know, you should include me too.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Why!”
“…It’s too dangerous.”
I felt a surge of frustration. It was the same old cycle.
I tried to suppress my erupting anger. Complaining and whining would be petty.
A mature adult should be able to persuade through rational and logical conversation.
“Look, I scored 100 on the test where Shana got 48, and Oscar failed with less than 20 points.”
“….”
“Not just in theory, but in practice too. During the outdoor mock training, Oscar was supposed to mentor but nearly messed it all up. I took charge, and our team came first. Everyone said it was thanks to me, and they even pooled their prize money for me. So why can’t you trust me over those two…”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you….”
Claude sighed and interrupted me.
“…It’s because I care about you.”
“….”
“I care about you more than I can bear to risk taking you with them. That’s why I can’t bring you.”
I had no more arguments left.
I clamped my mouth shut, and he must have thought I finally understood and gave up. He then pulled the blanket away and scooped me out of bed.
His lips touched my cheek. He soothed me with a voice much gentler than before.
“I’ll wrap things up and come back as soon as I can….”
“…Then.”
“What?”
“Then at least teach me how to guide.”
Claude’s face crumpled again.
“…Why bring that up again?”
“I’m the one who does the guiding, but I don’t even know how to do it properly. Does that make any sense? Teach me. I’ll even practice.”
“I’ve told you, you’re enough as you are. You don’t need to try harder or change.”
Again. Always.
He won’t even take me on the deployment, nor teach me how to guide.
I just want to believe there’s something meaningful only I can do.
Now I understand why Guides, despite living such comfortable lives, feel a sense of helplessness and need role models like me.
Just waiting for him to need me. That was all I could do.
Seething inside as if about to explode…
“…Do you not need my guiding anymore?”
Out burst a sharp, unfiltered retort.
“…What?”
Claude raised his eyebrows, baffled by whatever nonsense he thought I was spouting.
No matter. Once I started, a torrent of grievances poured out uncontrollably.
“Why have you been like this lately? Every day you’re at the Esper Division, and you even did that combat demonstration? You used to say you couldn’t stand being without me by your side, and now you seem to have found your peace? Why? Did your guiding allergy heal, and now you want to try everything you’ve missed out on?”
“….”
“I get nervous just by other Espers being near me, worrying that unintentional guiding might happen. But you, Lord Claude, you leave me behind and deploy for a month with another Guide? With Shana of all people? The Shana that you keep fed and happy while I’m left starving!”
“….”
“Making such a fuss because we’re imprinted! So what if your guiding allergy is cured! What does it matter if all the Guides scream about how great you are! Leaving your official partner behind to get close to other Guides, what if it comes out that we’re not really imprinted? Thinking you can just get back those 400 billion Berks now?”
The more I spoke, the angrier I got.
Veins popping in my neck, I was shouting, and suddenly I realized I was getting too worked up.
“……Sorry….”
I timidly looked at him, mumbling an apology, but Claude was silent.
Trying to gauge his expression was hard. I couldn’t tell if he was surprised, confused, or angry. He seemed to be processing my words, trying to understand.
Then, he moved his lips as if to speak, but then shut them again.
And more silence followed.
