Becoming the Guide of the Mysophobic Villain? Absolutely Not! - Chapter 51
Umm.
“…By any chance, you didn’t get dumped, did you?”
“…”
“No, I mean, Shana seemed upset that day. It’s definitely not because you lack charm or anything…”
As I rambled, worried I might have inadvertently hurt his pride after having a meal on his dime,
He smirked.
The corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk. He was laughing in disbelief.
I’ve seen him laugh before, like at the last festival.
But every time I see it, it feels surreal.
His usually cold and unapproachable demeanor, where one might think not a single drop of blood could be drawn, relaxed into something comfortable.
When he smiles like this, Claude doesn’t seem like the strongest being in the universe or an evil villain. He just seems like Claude. Still Claude, but more so.
Perhaps that’s why I felt this strange fluttering in my heart again…
“So, if you don’t think Shana is your Guide, why are you being so nice to me?”
“…”
“You brought me along to check if Shana was your Guide. But if you’re so sure she’s not, shouldn’t you be taking your anger out on me instead?”
It was a question that had been tormenting me for days.
I tried to hold back, fearing I might create a cringeworthy moment to remember for the next decade. But like seasickness, the unease in my heart made it impossible.
“Why do you still keep me by your side?”
Claude gazed at me intently in response to my question.
My heart throbbed.
Badump, badump.
I wanted to know. Did he really suspect my true identity? And was keeping quiet about it?
Or was it something else…
“Who knows. Why indeed…”
“…”
“Let’s call it a final gift, then.”
Claude’s response was unexpected.
“A final gift?”
“I’ll be deployed in a major operation soon.”
Claude’s gaze returned to the sea.
“If I go on rampage during the operation… it’s unlikely that I can return safely.”
He was talking about his own death.
His expression as he said this was nonchalant, perhaps because he had imagined and even wished for his own death thousands of times.
I didn’t expect such an answer to my question. I was taken aback.
“Then, just don’t go. If you don’t go, you’ll be safe, right?”
Claude shook his head.
“An Esper who can’t receive guiding is inevitably going to face this. Delaying it only intensifies the pain. If it’s bound to happen… it’s better to minimize the damage, somewhere far away from the Center.”
When stars die, they emit their brightest light. Espers were the same.
When an Esper dies due to rampage or external shock, they release energy far more powerful than anything they possessed in life. That’s why several S-class Espers even died when Claude went on rampage in the game.
This is why Claude, despite enduring pain worse than death, couldn’t bring himself to end his life prematurely. His death could have consequences far beyond just his own.
And now, he spoke of ending that pain, in a lonely place where no one would mourn him.
“I’ve always had a sense of debt for burdening you with my fate, under false hope.”
“…”
“But I’ve never learned how to convey my feelings through words or apologies… so I’m trying to compensate in my own way before I leave.”
Claude said this with a self-mocking laugh.
I hadn’t expected this response.
Not at all…
My heart was beating differently from before.
Heavily.
Thump… Thump…
***
A fundamental question troubled me.
Is Claude really a bad person?
In the original story, both Irene and her Espers were killed by Claude.
But that was only because he couldn’t receive proper guiding. Had it not been for his guiding allergy, he wouldn’t have had any mysophobia, nor would there be a risk of him going on rampage.
Irene was killed by Claude simply for touching his hand, due to his mysophobia. Yet, I’ve kissed him twice and continue to live.
