Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 138
She felt a hand lifting her tear-streaked face. It was the first time his lips had touched the corners of her eyes yesterday, but now the sensation felt achingly nostalgic.
“Why? Why are you crying like that?”
“Sniff, hiic.”
“Freesia.”
“Your Grace, you keep… hiic, leaving me behind.”
There were countless things she resented him for, but that was all she could manage to say, gasping. Saying it out loud made her feel even more sorrowful, and as she looked up at him, more tears welled up.
“Yesterday, hiic, I was so scared.”
Without any mental preparation, her clothes were all stripped off, and she had to endure his intense advances with her whole body. Handling the pressure alone afterward was overwhelmingly difficult.
Izar was at a complete loss as to what to do in this situation.
“…Don’t cry.”
He wanted to speak kindly to her, saying she was scared, but his tone had always been like this since he matured.
Frustrated with himself and unable to think of any other way, he just kept wiping her unending tears with his hand.
“What do you want me to do? Tell me.”
At this, Freesia’s flushed face brightened slightly, and she parted her lips.
“Please, don’t be so scary… like yesterday.”
Then she stood on her tiptoes and gently kissed him. Unlike the way he had devoured her yesterday, this kiss was like a feather brushing against his lips.
Her lake-colored eyes filled with longing gazed at the speechless man.
“Please… be a little kinder.”
“…”
Izar didn’t say anything but nodded. As long as she wasn’t trying to leave, anything was fine.
“All right. Put your arms around my neck.”
Even if he kissed her as gently as she wanted, to fully savor her, their bodies needed to be pressed closely together.
As he slowly parted her lips and delved inside, Freesia shivered and clung to him.
“Ah, mm.”
Unlike their first night, this kiss was slow and mind-ensnaring, melting her thoughts sweetly. The moist entanglement of their tongues felt more vivid this time, making her breathless.
When he slowly kissed the tears off her cheeks, Freesia closed her eyes and panted.
Countless questions floated in her mind.
Had she now become not just a somewhat useful wife but a ‘truly’ loved wife?
And perhaps, back when she was pregnant, did her ‘husband’ also have feelings for her? Is that why he looked at her like that the night he brought wild berries?
‘Then why was he so cold after we lost the rosebud baby?’
Among all the things she resented Izar for, that was the most piercing wound to Freesia.
But thinking back to the night he brought wild berries and the peaceful days in his chamber after she became pregnant, a new feeling began to emerge.
Perhaps… he had been so devastated by the baby’s death too.
‘If that’s the case… maybe I can forgive him a little.’
It felt like the knot in her heart was loosening. She could resolve to stay by his side for the rest of her life more firmly.
‘If this man truly cares for me… then what I said before is void.’
She had once told him she would do her best to destroy him if he ever held her with lust.
That resolve was still sincere.
‘Because that was my minimum standard.’
But at the same time, she desperately hoped it would never come to that.
Destroying him meant Izar had deceived her in the most terrible way.
She could endure his coldness, disappointment, and neglect, but she couldn’t forgive him for mocking her feelings.
Whether it would actually hurt him was another matter.
‘…And maybe I can tell him my secret.’
That her time was running out.
Everything she had heard from God.
* * *
After the kiss that felt like melted sugar ended, unknown boxes kept arriving in Freesia’s room.
“Wasn’t the gift of earrings the end of it?”
Freesia asked with wide eyes, but Izar avoided her gaze. However, when her light green eyes stared at him intently, he couldn’t bear it and grumbled curtly.
“You don’t want land or to go out to Maia Street, so how should I know what you’d like?”
“Oh…”
Freesia blushed and fiddled with the earrings. She had been so upset and pressured by what had happened that she had refused.
‘That’s why there are so many different types.’
Among the jewelry that Izar had given her, there were other pieces made with similar light green gemstones.
As she examined the gifts quietly, Freesia tilted her head at a few of them.
Violets preserved in sugar inside a glass jar.
“…?”
Though sugar sweets were rare, would a nobleman give such a thing to his wife as a wedding night gift?
‘Oh, there are rose sugar preserves, too, like a pair.’
Freesia looked inside the glass jar and tilted her head again. The elegantly curved glass jar itself seemed more valuable than the sweets inside.
It seemed that Izar had chosen gifts for women by an incomprehensible standard.
‘He deals with monsters well? Or maybe he’s never given a woman a gift before?’
Thinking back carefully, that seemed to be true.
The only women a ‘duke’ like him would give gifts to were those in the imperial family, and there were no women in the current imperial family. Gifts exchanged between families would have been handled by Lady Electra.
‘Then am I the first woman to receive a gift directly from Lord Izar?’
She hid her smile behind the glass jar, glancing at Izar. He was standing there with a displeased expression, arms crossed.
It seemed he had just realized how haphazard his gifts were.
‘I want to ask if he just realized it now.’
Freesia bowed her head a little more and smiled bitterly. She still wanted to pout and complain about her resentment, but she hated herself for being happy with this.
