Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 178
“Then, why… why did you tell me about the child?”
“Before I remembered the way I died, I just wanted you to care about me.”
“Haa…”
“And it worked, didn’t it?”
Izar’s face twisted in agony.
Freesia looked at him, reveling in his pain, though she kept her expression indifferent. She didn’t really care why he reacted so sharply to the revelation that the wild rose child was a lie, but the fact that he was hurting brought her a measure of satisfaction.
“…Are you disappointed?”
“……”
Izar opened his mouth but couldn’t speak. The child Freesia had lovingly described… had bloomed like a sudden flower in his heart.
Unlike his parents, he had thought he might finally have a chance at a real family.
For once, he had felt the vague hope that, after solving Freesia’s illness, they could find happiness together. He’d unconsciously harbored the expectation that Freesia would always look at their child, his child, with love.
It was the first time he’d felt such pure emotions, all bundled together like a flower in bloom.
So, could this feeling be so simply dismissed as ‘disappointment’?
‘No, this is loss.’
It was so excruciating that it felt as though his limbs, intact as they were, had been severed. The air he breathed was like scorching thorns stabbing his throat, painfully hot. After several ragged breaths, he finally asked quietly,
“Do I even have the right to be disappointed?”
“……”
Freesia didn’t respond immediately.
She watched as his golden eyes clouded over with pain, yet his expression stayed remarkably composed. The restraint in his face, compared to her own suffering, felt deeply inadequate.
‘But perhaps it’s time to stop now.’
Despite her hatred, she knew she needed to hold back for the sake of her ‘future plans’, even if the thought made her want to bite her own tongue.
Freesia started to turn away from him, but he reached out, clasping her hand, and she froze.
“Freesia. Please, just answer me one thing.”
“…What.”
“Your lifespan… Exactly how much time do you have left?”
“You don’t need to worry about that anymore.”
Freesia pulled her hand away, trying hard not to let her disgust show.
“I saved the Imperial Grandson, and the divine granted me mercy.”
“What do you mean…?”
“It means I’m no longer terminal.”
Freesia frowned, weary and annoyed.
“I won’t die with the passing of time, so you can stop asking about it now.”
“You—”
“I’d like to rest now.”
Another blunt rejection.
Seeing her pale with exhaustion, Izar couldn’t bring himself to press her further.
Freesia didn’t watch as he left the carriage. Her gaze remained fixed outside, on the ancient tree just beyond the window.
A white dove perched on a sparse branch of the old tree. It looked like an ordinary bird at first, but its red eyes stared intently at Freesia, as if to scold her for deviating from their original plan.
She looked back at it indifferently and muttered under her breath, almost inaudibly,
“…Can’t a person get a little carried away?”
She had, after all, thought about how she would act when she finally met Izar again.
‘I was supposed to show him the tears of a grateful wife who’d been rescued.’
She had intended to reveal the truth of their marriage, just as Canopus had informed her, but to also play the part of a forgiving wife despite the deception.
‘That way, he would feel at least a little guilt and let his guard down.’
But that plan had utterly failed.
〈Aren’t you happy that I found you?〉
Seeing his face as he asked if she was glad to see him, she hadn’t been able to contain her anger.
How could he even ask such a question?
After deceiving her like this?
Did he truly believe that she’d continue to love him, like some obedient, doting pet eager to please?
Remaining calm had been nearly impossible.
‘But perhaps it doesn’t matter, since I seem to have managed to plant a sense of guilt in him.’
As proof, Izar wasn’t touching her. Surely his retainers were urging him to ‘confirm the woman’s purity’, yet he held back.
How long his pride would allow him to endure her coldness remained uncertain, but…
‘It won’t be much longer anyway.’
Now, only 145 days remained.
Freesia looked out at the falling leaves, dried and scattered in the cooling air, remembering the agreement she’d made with Canopus on the coastal fortress.
When the end of the year approached, their deal would unfold upon the Duchy.
moonsy
I’m pained. That is all I can say