Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 182
“Hmm.”
Freesia doubted the Emperor would welcome her, but imagining him throwing a fit and demanding they separate made her furrow her brows.
‘That would be a problem. If we really separated, my plans would fall apart.’
Indeed, pretending to be the “forgiving wife” seemed like the perfect strategy at this moment.
Freesia casually set the letter aside and stepped closer to Izar, whispering softly.
“…I actually have something to say about our relationship going forward.”
“What is it?”
Izar barely managed a curt reply. He had never felt so nervous over a single word before. He was terrified that any mistake would cause Freesia to harm herself—or worse, that she would appear in his nightmares again, hanging herself or throwing herself into the darkness without hesitation.
But instead, Freesia laced her fingers with his, their palms meeting.
‘Thank goodness. I can manage this.’
She could hide her hatred while speaking, but if mere physical contact repulsed her, it would all be meaningless.
At least, for now, she could endure.
“To be honest, I still want to leave you.”
“……”
“But I also don’t want to follow the Emperor’s orders and be married to someone else.”
Izar, who had hesitated to hold her hand, suddenly gripped it tightly. Hearing her say it aloud made his ears ring with shock.
Leave him and become another man’s wife? Who could it be?
‘Even now, I can’t bring myself to ask what happened while she was kidnapped…’
He feared that her answer would shatter his sanity entirely.
But just then, Freesia leaned in and awkwardly kissed him.
A thrill, impossible to describe in words, set his entire body ablaze. Had he ever felt such ecstasy? Unable to believe it, he quickly grabbed her.
“Wait. Just now… have you really forgiven me?”
“…I wouldn’t say completely.”
Freesia gave a slight, crooked smile.
At this moment, she considered simply saying, ‘Yes, I forgive you completely.’
‘But I absolutely can’t.’
No matter how she thought about it, remembering everything she had endured made it feel unnatural. She also didn’t want to appear as though she had easily forgiven everything.
“I’ve known all along that you hated our marriage. I’m sure other noblemen felt the same way.”
“Freesia—”
“It’s true that in my past life, I attempted suicide because of it. And I did resent you enough to actually end my life.”
“……”
“But… I believe the you in this life is different.”
Freesia carefully stepped closer and ran her fingers along his chest. Though it wasn’t an act of affection, his skin grew noticeably warmer.
“Because even after sustaining such wounds, you came looking for me.”
She was relieved he hadn’t died. If Izar had died and left her alone with her hatred, it would have been unbearably frustrating.
Yet when he embraced her, she found her body stiffening involuntarily.
“Freesia, I’m sorry.”
Izar’s suppressed voice whispered into her ear.
The joy of being forgiven made his head spin, but he didn’t expect her to truly accept him.
‘Still, if the divine blessing has indeed freed me from my impending demise…’
He vowed to spend the rest of his life asking for her forgiveness and making amends, for as long as it took until she could smile at him sincerely.
“For all the pain I caused you in your past life, I’ll make you happy in this one.”
“……”
“I love you.”
“……”
‘I do, too.’
Freesia wanted to say those words but found her throat choked, unable to speak.
She had already lied to Izar about several things.
She told him the child she’d once carried didn’t exist.
She told him she had escaped her terminal condition.
She was confident she could continue weaving such lies as planned, but she couldn’t bring herself to say “I love you” as a lie.
‘If I did, I feel like everything would unravel.’
Because she still hated him. Because she was determined to see him fall into despair before this life ended.
So instead of answering, she kissed him again.
***
Once, Freesia had intertwined herself with Izar every day.
The more they shared their bodies, the more accustomed she became, her body responding eagerly to the lightest touch.
It was as if she had decided to accept every physical pleasure this life offered her.
“A-ah, ah…!”
Her toes curled and straightened repeatedly as her body trembled, her heels scraping the sheets as she failed to endure the sensations.
As the man held her waist and kissed her from the curve of her b*****s to her navel, her back arched uncontrollably.
“Ah… mm…”
Freesia clung to his shoulders, her fingernails digging in as she whimpered. The ticklish pleasure was nothing short of torture. She just wanted him to take her like an animal and end the moment.
Izar, too, seemed on the verge of losing control, yet he persisted with deliberate care. It wasn’t their wedding night, so why was he being so painstakingly thorough?
Perhaps it was because he’d said he loved her, and tonight, he wanted to take responsibility for those words.
‘Pointless…’
Still, her body betrayed her, trembling under his touch, even as her mind raged against the man she should have been leading into despair.
The most infuriating part, however, was the look in his eyes as he gazed at her tear-streaked face.
