Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 2
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Freesia Antares had already died once.
It happened three years after she became the wife of Izar Arcturus, when she was twenty-three years old.
But let’s go back to the real starting point…
Originally, Freesia lived as a shepherdess in the Arcturus estate.
She did not know who her biological father was, and she had been living with her mother until she came of age. Her mother claimed to be a fallen noble, but Freesia honestly did not believe her.
To be more precise, Freesia’s mother never ‘said’ it. Since Freesia was born, her mother’s tongue had been cut, so they never really communicated through conversation.
In their humble cottage, the only sounds were the mother’s strange groans of ‘uh, uh, uh’ as she expressed herself, her cries of frustration, and the sound of hurriedly scratching words into the dirt floor.
Thanks to this, Freesia learned to read, but the content seemed implausible even to her young eyes.
Then has no one come looking for you, Mother? If you’re a noble, why aren’t you wearing pretty dresses?
She wanted to ask such questions, but she realized early on that it was pointless. Her mother had gone mad long before Freesia had come of age.
Her mother, who remembered nothing but her noble status.
Her mother, who couldn’t even remember her supposed husband’s name.
Her mother, who had nightmares every night and screamed in a hoarse voice…
Seeing her daughter’s unimpressive response, the mother wrote even faster.
“…Can’t I just go and play with the other kids?”
She was alone while picking fruits today, and she had no choice but to just watch the other children play by the stream… Even so, the young Freesia sometimes forgot her sadness.
Her mother, mad and nothing but skin and bones, had an unusually strong grip.
Her mother’s dreamy face, imagining her father, soon twisted into anger, and that hand, which just moments ago referred to her daughter as precious, now struck her cheek fiercely.
Even after the sharp sound of a slap had faded, the mother beat her own chest in indescribable frustration, crying out.
“Uh, ugh, ugh!”
Her appearance was no different from a wounded, howling animal, and it was no wonder people mocked her as a woman ‘driven mad by a man’s abandonment’.
It was natural for the villagers to keep their distance from Freesia. She seemed sane, but she might catch her mother’s madness someday.
The mother and daughter were the lowest and most ridiculed in the estate, and this forced Freesia to struggle for her daily needs through interactions with people.
However, sometimes, there were those whose sympathy outweighed their animosity.
“Would you like to try shepherding? Just a dozen or so sheep.”
On her fifteenth birthday, the estate manager tentatively suggested.
“Well-raised sheep are sent to the Duke’s castle for their family’s meals.”
Of course, it was a shunned position people were reluctant to take. Sheep may seem docile but, in truth, they were vicious creatures.
Still. Even if she had known, she wouldn’t have dared refuse. The small wages she earned barely covered meals and clothing.
As a result, Freesia’s arms and legs never lacked fresh scratches.
Every time her mother saw these wounds, she would scream and slam the table. This outburst would translate to: ‘That’s why your father isn’t coming! It’s because you’re a disgrace!’
What was there in this house to make yourself presentable? For that, Freesia was already exhausted from feeding herself and her mother.
It was the same scolding every day, and the subsequent verbal abuse no longer hurt.
And on the day when a lamb disappeared, she heard the same nagging before leaving the house.
By then, she was honestly more afraid about the lamb than of her mother.
“Haa, haah… Where did you go, little one, huff, huff…”
Though just an animal, it was the property of the ducal household, and worth more than Freesia’s life.
Whether found dead or not found at all, it was a life-threatening situation.
All the other sheep were in the pasture, so why was that one missing?
As she tearfully searched the fields and bushes she had taken them to that day, a miraculous sound reached her ears.
…aa! Baa!
Following the sound in a panic, Freesia sighed in dismay.
“Why there…!”
The lamb had fallen into a lake in the bushes and was splashing around.
Exhausted and frustrated to death, but she had no choice.
Soaking wet, she cautiously felt her way through the water and managed to grab the lamb.
Baa!
“Stay still, little one. Let’s stop now.”
Holding the lamb and turning back, Freesia accidentally stepped on a slippery rock and fell backwards.
“…Ack!”
She needed to get out quickly.
Struggling, she flailed in the water, but the ungrateful lamb, intent on saving itself, kicked her with its hooves, causing her to slip again.
“Cough…! Huuk…!”
After several attempts, she was submerged in the lake once more, from head to toe.
Everything was dark, and the cold water stung her skin like needles. However, at that moment, Freesia stopped struggling.
‘I don’t want to leave.’
Her instinctual desire to survive weakened like a stretched-out thread.
Whether she struggled to get out or stayed in the darkness, it all seemed the same to her.
Breathing meant she had to try to live. But if such efforts were so burdensome every moment, why not let go and find peace…
But the moment she closed her eyes, she felt as if a thick branch had wrapped around her waist.
Before she could come to her senses, Freesia was almost flung onto the hard ground.
The air rushing into her lungs burned her throat and eyes.
“Huuk, cough! Cough…! Cough!”
“Crazy.”
“……!”
Rubbing her eyes, Freesia hastily sat up.
Even as a mere shepherd girl, she recognized that voice. It belonged to someone who presided over important events like a festival in the estate.
She couldn’t fail to recognize those black hair tips dripping with water, the straight bridge of his nose, and those deep golden eyes.
“I, I apologize! Please forgive me…!”
Freesia frantically begged for mercy from Izar Arcturus, the presiding lord of this estate.
It would have been better to just drown in the lake.
That was a pain she had chosen for herself.
In contrast, the pain inflicted by others was something she would not be able to predict. Fear made her shiver uncontrollably.
However, Izar seemed annoyed even by her apology and scolded her.
“Enough. Take this.”
The ungrateful lamb was held in Izar’s hand like a dirty ball of wool.
Baa…
Feeling as if she was to blame for the lamb getting dirty, Freesia cautiously took it and carried it in her arms, still watching him.
“I’m sorry…”
“I said it’s enough, shepherdess.”
“Yes?”
The Master knows me?
Her heart skipped a beat, half in fear and half in inexplicable excitement.
A noble recognizing a commoner could be either the worst misfortune or the greatest opportunity.
But Freesia flinched as she pulled aside the hair sticking to her face.
Only then did she realize that her worn and faded clothes were clinging to her body.
