Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 206
Izar gazed out the window.
The briar thickets had been uprooted and burned, leaving no trace. He’d heard they were destroyed under Freesia’s orders.
How utterly pathetic.
The child wasn’t even his in this life, yet he foolishly believed that cherishing the traces of that child might make Freesia look back at him.
That it might bring her some small amount of joy… perhaps even make her return to him with the sparkle in her eyes that he had once known.
It had been a miserable failure.
‘…Just like my father.’
In the end, it wasn’t only their appearances that were similar.
〈Izar, come quickly. We’re going to see your mother!〉
Even using a child as bait was an inherited behavior. No matter how desperately he reached out, it would never touch the other person.
Perhaps not ever.
Freesia’s uneven breathing slowly steadied. Izar stayed by her side, as if trying to memorize the sound, and then left the room.
***
When Freesia opened her eyes, the room was bathed in the pale light of dawn.
How much time had passed since she had fallen asleep? She sighed deeply, closing her eyes again.
‘Every plan I made regarding Izar has failed miserably.’
She had intended to save her lingering resentment toward him and their unborn child for the last possible moment, to strike when Izar had let his guard down, thinking all was well.
〈If this child… if it even slightly resembles you, I will surely hate it.〉
But she had spoken the truth too early, and now it couldn’t be taken back.
“Ugh…”
Her stomach twisted painfully again, and dizziness swept over her. On top of it all, she was starving, which made the discomfort unbearable.
Should she call for an attendant?
‘But if I eat anything, I’ll just throw it up again…’
She could only endure until the morning sun rose. Tossing and turning in the cold bed, trying to fall back asleep, she heard the sound of the door opening softly.
The cold winter air pricked her skin, and a silhouette, familiar even in the dark, approached her.
“Where… did you go?”
“……”
“At this hour…”
Had he gone out and just returned? But if it wasn’t for monster hunting, what could have brought Izar out at such an early hour?
Izar didn’t answer her question. Instead, he gestured to the servant who had followed him to bring something over.
“I heard you’ve barely eaten all day.”
The servant carried a large bowl, so full that it required both hands to hold. Inside were fresh, deep red berries.
“In this season…?”
Freesia murmured, bewildered.
At this time of year, most food was smoked to last through the cold, and fresh fruit would have long since disappeared.
Too exhausted to resist, Freesia let him do as he wished. Izar pulled her into his arms, seated her comfortably, and took the bowl from the servant.
‘…It’s warm.’
The body of a pregnant woman was such a curse.
Even though her mind repeated how much she disliked him, her body, burdened with a child, craved affection and comfort. In such a vulnerable state, just a little warmth could break her pride entirely.
Once again, it struck her: this child was undeniably already taking their father’s side. How else could they be so agreeable to the fruit Izar had brought, without even a hint of protest?
Strangely, though, she didn’t feel as much resentment toward the baby as before.
As the sound of her eating broke the awkward silence in the room, Izar, who had been quiet for a long time, finally spoke.
“If you don’t want this, you don’t have to give birth.”
“…What?”
“Tell everyone it was lost because of me.”
“How could you say such—”
“I’ll say the same.”
His hands tightened around her waist as he continued. Freesia didn’t interrupt him, waiting quietly for him to finish.
“If you do give birth, but find yourself unable to face this child…”
“……”
“Leave them to me, and you can go wherever your heart leads you.”
Wherever her heart led her.
Freesia thought that he might be implying she could leave.
“That’s the kind of thing you’d expect someone to say in this situation.”
But after a long pause, Izar whispered in a voice heavy with repression.
“Kill me and leave instead. Just don’t let me see you go.”
“……”
His voice, as he rested his forehead against the nape of her neck, seemed to pierce through her skin and settle deep into her bones.
“Poison me, stab me in the face if you can’t bear to look at it… I’ll take it all. If you want to gouge out my eyes because you hate the sight of them, then so be it.”
Freesia almost let out a laugh.
Would he really let her blind him with a blade if she wished? But she couldn’t even manage a smile, let alone words.
Because she knew he wasn’t joking. His desperate tone left no room for doubt.
“But don’t ever ask me to kill you.”
“……”
“And don’t you dare die before I do. Never, Freesia… not that.”
Freesia stared silently at the bowl in her hands. At some point, her ‘husband’ had once ventured out into the cold, dark night to bring her such berries.
Unbidden, the memory of the happiest night of her life resurfaced, clouding her vision despite her resistance.
At that moment, Izar’s hand brushed her waist, and a small, tapping movement stirred from within her belly, as if coming from sticky water.
“Ah.”
Freesia’s eyes froze.
That was unmistakably her first experience of the baby moving.
