Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 221
A piercing ray of dazzling winter sunlight streamed through the gap in the canopy.
But no matter how much the sunlight drove away the darkness, it couldn’t melt the lingering traces of the dream that Freesia struggled to recall as she blinked her heavy eyes.
‘What did I just see?’
She was definitely in her dream, embraced by her ‘husband’… His arms around her were suffocating, something that had never happened in reality. And yet, his voice clung to her ears like an old lullaby.
〈I’m terrified of what might happen to you while I’m gone…〉
Had she ever heard such a voice sinking with such desperation? Was that moment real? If it was, when could it have been?
‘Come to think of it, even his armor was more intricate than anything I’ve seen before.’
The armor her ‘husband’ wore always varied based on the scale of the subjugation mission. Throughout their marriage, Freesia had never seen him in such gear.
Such armor was typically worn only for missions where unexpected skirmishes were anticipated.
Just as Freesia was about to sit up, the man who had been holding her from behind whispered in a sunken voice.
“…Don’t get up.”
“But, Izar.”
Freesia stroked his arm. The long marks she had left on him last night had turned a reddish hue, but he showed no sign of caring.
“We need to get ready soon.”
Today was the day Izar had to lead the knights and depart. Dawn had already broken, and she needed to help him prepare.
But Izar didn’t answer. Instead, he gently brushed his lips against the back of her neck. Strangely, his reluctance to leave didn’t irritate or frustrate her.
Perhaps because she had been in his arms even in her dream, the thought of him leaving felt as disappointing as stepping out of warm water.
In that moment, a question crossed her mind.
“Izar, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…”
“Hmm?”
“The wild berries… Where did you get them that day?”
Even on the day she had caused a ‘small incident’ and during the time when she carried their sweetbrier baby, it hadn’t been the season for those red berries.
So how had Izar managed to find them?
“They weren’t dried fruits, but fresh ones.”
“……”
“I’ve been curious for a while.”
The man holding Freesia remained silent. When he finally spoke, his voice carried a hint of displeasure.
“I won’t tell you.”
“What?”
Freesia, who had been drifting back into a drowsy haze, unconsciously raised her voice. However, it came out slightly hoarse after last night’s soft moans.
“Why not?”
“Don’t you confuse me all the time? So it’s only fair that there’s something you don’t know too.”
“What… What are you talking about?”
Instinctively, Freesia squirmed within his arms.
“It’s a natural question to ask. Why are you responding like this? You’re the one who…!”
“The one who what?”
Freesia bit her lip. Should she really say this? Was it necessary now, after all this time?
But maybe this would be her last chance to corner him with her words.
“You’re the one who turned me into a fool who knows nothing.”
The arms wrapped around her tightened. But Freesia lowered her head, resisting the urge to look back, and whispered.
“Did you hate me that much…? Was a bride like me such a stain on your life that even writing a divorce agreement felt like a waste of time?”
“……”
“I endured every beating and waited for you, but…”
She had once had a similar conversation when she was kidnapped. Back then, too, Freesia had every right to criticize him, just as she did now.
But this time was different—this time, she genuinely wanted to hear his answer.
Back then, his response had sounded like empty excuses, and she had mocked him for it. But now, her heart seemed to be thawing earlier than the seasons.
“…I still don’t know, Izar. Did you hold on to me simply because you enjoyed our nights together?”
“Freesia.”
“Or was it because you thought I might give you a child, even someone like me?”
Izar, who had been listening silently, leaned his forehead against the back of her neck.
Whenever he thought of how to answer, countless responses came to mind, but they always felt trapped in the net constricting his throat.
〈Don’t act like a wench. Don’t make excuses like those courtesans.〉
Who had placed that net inside him in the first place?
But this time, Izar cautiously broke the silence, pressing his lips against her shoulder as he began to speak. In a situation where death could be near, he could no longer afford to withhold his words out of awkwardness.
“At first, I didn’t want you. When I heard you were to be mine, I despised you.”
“……”
“As you said, back then, you were a blemish on my life.”
Izar trapped Freesia’s trembling body even closer within his arms.
“But somewhere along the way, that changed.”
“You’re lying…”
“I may have deceived you in the past, but this isn’t a lie.”
Freesia, who had been facing away, turned her head toward him. Izar kissed her gently on the cheek, where her eyelashes brushed her skin.
“I wish to be your husband now.”
