Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 3
In front of a stranger, especially Duke Izar, Freesia was mortified to be seen in that drenched state.
She clutched the lamb like a shield.
‘What do I do?’
Her wet tunic clung to her arms and chest, causing unbearable embarrassment.
But it wasn’t just the shame of being so exposed that tormented her.
The mere presence of Izar was too overwhelming, as Freesia felt less significant than a single sheep, while he was incomparably dazzling.
“You. Shepherdess.”
His blunt, deep voice called out to her. But Freesia couldn’t lift her head, only stuttering in response.
“Y, Yes, Y-Your Grace.”
“Take this.”
“…Yes?”
Suddenly, a dark blue piece of clothing appeared before her. It was unmistakably a noble’s summer coat, probably what Izar had taken off before jumping into the lake.
To the Duke, it was just a piece of cloth, but for Freesia, it was different.
“I can’t, accept something like thi—”
“Then you plan to go back looking like that?”
There was a clear tone of annoyance in the man’s voice.
“If you want to be a spectacle for everyone, that’s your business.”
“N-No, Your Grace.”
Realizing again her dripping wet state, Freesia shrank in on herself.
Being despised as ‘the madwoman’s daughter’ was one thing, but she saw no need to invite danger. Reluctantly, she hunched over like an old woman and took the coat.
“Thank you…”
And while taking it, she dared to glance at his face.
At this time, Izar, three years her senior, was eighteen.
His height and presence far surpassed those of an average adult. His golden eyes, revealed as he brushed back his wet hair, pierced her heart sharply.
‘I understand why people call him a comet.’
Such a vibrant being was rightly a blazing star crossing the night sky.
Yet to Freesia, he seemed more like a boy struggling to control his impetuous temper.
‘He must be annoyed at me for almost losing a lamb in the water.’
Freesia whispered awkwardly as she draped the coat over herself.
“Your Grace, this, um, to whom should I return this?”
“No need. Do what you want with it.”
“What? But!”
Izar didn’t bother with her anymore.
He simply wiped the water off his face and strode towards the castle.
Freesia watched his retreating figure for a long time.
Why did the master help her? Why?
Her heart raced wildly, and heat started to spread from her neck to her ears.
Her chest fluttered with an inexplicable sense of anticipation.
But when she returned the lamb to the pasture and came out, the castle’s chief attendant frowned upon seeing her.
“You there. Where’d you get that coat.”
“Ah. Um, His Grace lent it to me…”
“Ahh.”
Hearing her explanation, the chief attendant didn’t fuss, but he sighed heavily in a blunt manner.
“Tch, His Grace is too kind to those below him.”
“…….”
“This isn’t the first time…”
Freesia’s fleeting excitement was immediately crushed.
Izar had become the duke at a young age, replacing his father who had taken his own life. His sense of responsibility towards his subjects was well-known.
She knew he had given her the coat for those reasons.
It was just that she had never felt this kind of excitement before, and it was painful to have it squashed so quickly.
The head attendant waved his hand dismissively, signaling her to leave.
“Don’t delude yourself, and bring it back clean.”
“…Yes.”
But the next day, the coat was taken from her.
She thought she had hidden it well under the bed, but when she returned home, her mother was burning it in the hearth.
“Mother, what are you doing!”
Freesia, who usually didn’t raise her voice, screamed in shock at the sight.
The dark blue fabric was already completely charred and beyond saving.
But as Freesia reached out to salvage whatever remained, a harsh flash appeared before her eyes.
“……!”
It happened so quickly that Freesia couldn’t even scream.
Slap! Her mother struck her cheek fiercely again.
Despite being frail and delirious, her mother’s bony hand was mercilessly strong.
“Aaack, aah!”
“Stop— Ugh!”
That day, her mother was in her most deranged state, beating Freesia relentlessly. Later, regaining some sanity, her mother furiously scribbled on the dirt floor.
Was it even logical to think that a man who had abandoned a woman pregnant with his child would return?
Freesia had no intention of clinging to such hopeless dreams. Instead, she focused on the burning coat before her.
All she could salvage was a charred sleeve end. She detached a button from the fabric and hung it on an old chain.
It was her only ornament, the only thing in her life that sparkled.
“So pretty.”
Even with her swollen, bruised cheek, Freesia smiled. Her life felt endlessly hollow, yet this necklace, with the button as the pendant, gave her a reason to wake up the next day.
And, there was Izar.
In Freesia’s dark life, he became a shining star.
***
Five years passed ever since Freesia started harboring her unrequited love for Izar. Since their encounter, she had no more interactions with the lord of the estate.
She only watched him from afar.
From a hill at sunset, with a few sheep, she would look down at the meadow below where he was.
The lord sometimes gave orders while riding his horse or engaged in light swordplay.
Seeing his wrist flicking back his black hair, and his strong arms under rolled-up sleeves, sent heat throughout her body.
And his dazzling figure in the twilight was the most painful to witness. More aching than when she was hit by her mother, yet the feeling wasn’t unpleasant.
This feeling was akin to the rare sugar candies she ate on festival days.
Bitter on the tongue but irresistibly moreish, and impossible to forget once tasted.
Freesia would watch him in silence and then head home.
Hoping to see his image again in her dreams.
