Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 49
Just down this and leave
Freesia, as she had said, headed to the temple in Deneb’s territory, taking only Sir Dike and Thea with her, concealing her face with a veil for a modest outing.
‘I don’t want to cause a commotion here.’
In fact, she had wanted to visit the temple in the capital long ago, but her movements were restricted shortly after her marriage, so only now could she offer her greetings to the gods.
Freesia looked up at the grand sacred flame.
She saw the benevolent smile of Adamant, who bestows magic upon the Betelgeuse imperial family.
The deity, said to manifest with starlight, had an androgynous appearance, shimmering in ethereal silver from head to toe.
Whether this was truly their appearance, Freesia wasn’t sure, but she bowed her head reverentially.
‘I do not know why you’ve given me this opportunity, but I will try my best… And please, take good care of my baby’s soul.’
Since she wouldn’t have the chance to hold her child again in this life, she hoped they would be happy beside the deity.
Then, Freesia hesitated a bit before adding,
‘…Please look after my mother’s soul as well.’
If someone were to ask whether she loved her mother, she wondered how she should respond.
If she were to be honest, she hated her mother.
Her mother had alienated her from the people of their domain due to her madness and disability.
And in her previous life, at the most twisted moments, she felt relieved that one less person was there to abuse her.
‘But my mother did try to provide for me.’
Whether her mother was truly a fallen noble or not, from the transitory memories Freesia had of her childhood, she knew of her mother’s clumsy attempts at household chores, struggling until her body was worn.
And the occasional strokes on her head while she cried.
No matter how quietly she wept, the sound of a tongueless cry was incomparably sorrowful. Freesia had learned from those times how despair of being abandoned can miserably transform a person.
So, she thought it unjust for her mother to be murdered by Madam Antares and left to rot.
‘But…’
Freesia paused her prayers and slightly tilted her head towards the sacred flame.
‘Did Adamant take away my memories of just before I died?’
Since feeling déjà vu when bidding Izar farewell, Freesia had occasionally reflected on that period.
The memories remained the same: the stillborn baby, Izar leaving the room.
And her efforts to recover and resume her role as the ‘duchess’.
Yet, the memory of ‘how she died’ on that last day remained blank.
‘If I can’t remember that much, did Adamant deliberately take it…?’
Then why?
…Could it be that she died too horrifically?
‘But my body seemed relatively intact.’
Chilled by the frightening thought, Freesia shuddered.
And as she strained to remember that time, didn’t the voice when she was given a year add something?
<For your wish and mine, I ask you this. Will you tread the mortal realm once again, even if death would be a more merciful path to take?>
‘I know what my wish is, but what is the deity’s?’
Being in a soul state when she heard it, she was unsure whether she remembered correctly.
And just then, a priest who was in the prayer room approached.
“May Adamant’s blessings be upon you, Madam.”
“And upon you as well, Reverend.”
Freesia looked up, surprised by the priest’s appearance.
The priest was a young man with pure silver hair and deep red eyes, exuding dignity with a faithful face, his build large enough to suit a knight.
Above all, Freesia marveled at the priest’s youth.
‘Wow, he’s really young. Maybe about my age?’
Freesia’s eyes shone with respect from behind her veil.
‘He must be a very capable person.’
Among the ‘magic’ bestowed by Adamant, the ability to heal diseases occasionally manifested, regardless of lineage.
Those individuals became priests, but since they had to complete a vast amount of doctrinal studies, they typically had to be well into their middle ages to become official priests.
‘I’m about the same age, yet he’s such a deeply learned person…’
Just then, the priest looked at Freesia and smiled kindly.
“You’ve been praying for a long time. You must have many concerns.”
“I was praying for my family’s peace, so I ended up thinking of many things.”
The priest nodded as if he understood.
“That’s a common concern for many who come here.”
“Yes… And, I ended up praying longer because I had something I was curious about.”
“What might that be?”
“…Can priests hear the voice of Adamant?”
Freesia glanced around nervously, clutching her veil.
‘I thought I heard it because I’m from the Antares lineage.’
However, as far as Freesia knew, there were no stories of anyone hearing the voice of the deity in this era.
‘It might pose a problem if I ask about such things carelessly.’
One could easily offend the temple by ‘daring to challenge God’, and House Antares could concoct schemes against her.
And who knew? If this were to reach the eccentric emperor’s ears, events down the line might get twisted in strange ways.
‘But I won’t be coming back to this temple anyway.’
Maybe this priest of a similar age would kindly inform her?
