Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 5
After her mother’s murder, Freesia was soon taken to the Antares residence.
Naturally, nobody bothered to properly explain the situation to her, and it was impossible for Freesia, who had spent her life as a shepherdess, to learn years of etiquette in a short time.
In such a dreadful situation, she was understandably overwhelmed with anxiety, afraid that any word she uttered might reveal her inner turmoil.
‘I truly didn’t know anything.’
Above all, the person she had loved for five years now looked at her as if she were a repulsive insect. The fear of what lay ahead was nothing compared to the pain of that gaze.
“Your Grace, I didn’t, I mean, I…”
“Enough!”
At Izar’s irritable slamming of the table, Freesia froze. The man, mocked in front of everyone, glared at her as if she too were his enemy.
“How dare you deceive me? A mere commoner deceiving me…!”
“N-No, Your Grace! I really didn’t, didn’t know—”
But it seemed Izar had already made up his mind to despise her. His once indifferent golden eyes now glared sharply, as if piercing Freesia’s heart.
“A bastard child, no less.”
“…….”
“Hah, how did it even come to this…”
Freesia’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment at his murmurs of anger.
As a bastard, she was an outcast from the teachings of Adamant, the empire’s sole deity, and normally would not be allowed proper societal functions.
From the time her mother went mad, Freesia knew her father was a despicable man. He had abandoned a woman with a severed tongue, pregnant. Freesia had always assumed her father was dead or a nobody.
But to be the bastard of a high noble…
It was a stain she couldn’t escape.
And then Izar turned his back on the bridal chamber, saying,
“I can’t stand the sight of you. Do what you want.”
“Your Grace…!”
“Keep as quiet as a mouse. Don’t do anything useless together with Antares.”
At that, the door of the bridal chamber was then harshly shut.
Thus, the groom left without touching his new bride.
Turning into a noble practically overnight, Freesia learned that there were depths lower than the mire she had known.
An ‘ideal noble couple’ was supposed to be a partnership where the husband’s achievements were complemented by the wife’s standing in society.
But Freesia couldn’t even fulfill this ‘simple’ role.
Izar’s stepmother, Elder Madam Electra acted as if driven mad every time Freesia made a mistake.
“This filth as the duke’s consort!”
Whenever Izar was away, Freesia endured harsher treatment than from her deceased mother. With Electra completely abhorring her, no servants sided with Freesia.
Then one day, when Freesia was twenty-three, the Emperor met the couple in the capital for the first time in a long while and remarked,
“Lord Antares and I had personally arranged this union, yet the honeymoon period seems to have ended all too soon, hm?”
It was a taunting remark at the cold relationship between the two.
Freesia should have seen how Izar’s jaw tightened then. She herself harbored deep resentment and rage towards the Emperor.
‘So cruel.’
Why must she suffer the repercussions of the deaths of the imperial family’s members?
When would this punishment end?
But that night, Izar finally took her to bed.
And indeed, reluctantly.
***
In the darkness, Freesia, trembling with nerves, didn’t dare raise her head. Dressed only in a revealing chemise, she hadn’t imagined standing before him like this, especially not after so much time had passed since their wedding.
‘Is it really alright to sleep together like this?’
After three years of not being treated as a proper wife, the pain no longer affected her. Like a callous, continuously prodded, it had grown numb.
But she had a different fear.
‘What if I end up like Mother?’
Mixed up with a man, pregnant, and then ultimately abandoned—just like her mother.
Strictly speaking, her situation was different. She had comparatively better circumstances.
‘At least I’m a wife sworn before God.’
But having grown up watching her mother, she could only feel dread for what was to come.
Desiring the future, yet wanting to scream and run away simultaneously.
The man who had been silent all this while slowly approached her. He carelessly discarded his tunic shirt onto the floor.
Freesia involuntarily flinched at the sight of her husband’s bare skin up close, so different from his usual black armor.
His tall, lean physique, which she had only imagined, was in reality densely sculpted with well-defined muscles, a testament to his long hours of training and combat.
Despite the hard work that shaped his body, it didn’t feel harsh or unyielding.
Captivated by his broad chest and strong shoulders, Freesia admired him purely.
‘Do all men look like this up close?’
But… Each time he moved closer, the shadows playing across the muscles in his waist made her feel embarrassed.
The thought of his overpowering physical presence soon to be upon her left her mouth dry.
Yet, unable to bring herself to look at his lower body, she dumbly stared at her own toes.
However, when his hand reached towards her face, her gaze instinctively lifted.
“……!”
“Raise your head.”
“Y-Yes…”
Her husband was accustomed to speaking in commands.
Occasionally, she felt hurt by his tone, but she understood it was due to his upbringing.
But that night, his voice sounded more rigid than usual.
He lightly lifted his chin, watching her intently without a word.
Those golden eyes were impossible to read, no matter how deeply she looked into them.
