Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 66
His ‘mother’s expression was clearly one of loathing. She then turned her back on Izar completely.
Dazed, Izar stared at her back, which was turned away from him.
Was this rejection painful?
‘I don’t know.’
Though he might have missed her during their separation…
The exhaustion from training numbed any other feelings. His stepmother occasionally complained that Izar’s verbal expressions were too crude and simplistic, but his father dismissed it, saying a man should be just so.
<Smooth talk only makes one a leech in the court!>
However, it was his father who broke down after they left the prison.
He cried, banged his forehead on the ground, cursed Izar’s mother, then sobbed loudly again, making futile pleas.
Izar choked on his breath watching this pitiful sight.
‘I don’t want to see it.’
He wondered if those who failed in ‘love’ end up miserably falling like that. Like those beings at the lowest of the low that he once scorned.
‘I don’t want to become that.’
Everyone said he was the spitting image of his father.
Praised for being exactly like him from head to toe.
Would he also crumble if he fell in love? It seemed like looking into a mirror showing his future.
<Remember, Izar. Don’t be deceived. Don’t let yourself be betrayed by a woman.>
And on the eve before his father’s voluntary departure, he left Izar with his last words.
<Betray before you are betrayed. You. You…>
This was his revered father’s last wish.
This was Izar’s creed and belief.
<…You were born between parents like us. You will be the same. You must never fall in love.>
Izar decided to willingly follow that final wish.
He didn’t want to crumble ignobly because of something like love.
That’s why he had a high sense of pride, became a duke early on, and wanted to dedicate himself solely to restoring Arcturus’s glory.
To live for nothing but the untarnished name of a noble lineage.
To ensure that the previous generation’s sufferings and the ‘bastard’ they left behind could no longer tarnish this name.
And the moment he thought of that word, Izar’s eyes snapped open.
“……!”
Even though air clearly entered his lungs, he suddenly felt choked. Izar forced himself upright, gasping for breath.
It felt like the atmosphere of those old times had seeped into his bones after such a long absence.
Despair, fear, loathing, and madness from back then engulfed him like a tidal wave, soaking him through.
“Haah… Ha.”
Izar rubbed his face roughly, cursing inwardly with all the vulgarities he knew.
He didn’t dare speak them aloud, worried that she might wake up and hear…
…But at that moment, Izar’s eyes fiercely flickered.
‘Why am I being swayed by this woman?’
The bitter betrayal and firm resolutions of those times filled his heart’s vessels. The more he thought about it, the more furious he became, and the side profile of that fair face became annoyingly irritating.
Why did he have to be troubled by such an insignificant being, to the extent of going to a neighboring territory, and be provoked by someone as trivial as Alberio Deneb, a mere second son of a marquis?
A bride he never wanted, a bastard who was ill-fitting to him, and a huge stain on this precious family name.
Why didn’t he get rid of her immediately upon return? Why was he now lying in the same bed as her? Why had he listened to her nonsense word for word?
‘Get rid of her.’
Right now, this instant, cleanly from his life.
Like shedding a bothersome flake of skin, he would cast out this woman by morning, completely severing ties with her.
‘As soon as day breaks—’
The hatred tasted in the dream felt like bile between clenched teeth.
However, as his feelings of violence numbed his ears, a suppressed groan reached him.
“…Ugh, uh.”
The woman clutched near her heart, curling up.
And was having intermittent seizures as if suffocating to death.
“Huk, ah, agh.”
Izar clenched his teeth, staring at her. The joints of his fists whitened.
‘Don’t do anything.’
He had already done enough for her.
She would wake up on her own soon enough. It could even be a good excuse to kick her out for her illness.
‘But.’
Right now…
She was crying.
Even when left alone on their wedding night, when he left immediately upon arrival for monster subjugation, even when she was beaten and feverishly delirious—she never cried.
‘…God damn it!’
He was infuriated by this woman who made him feel like a fool.
And he felt pathetic for reaching out to shake her shoulder.
“Shepherdess, get up right now.”
“Ugh… Uh…”
“Haa, right now.”
As he coaxed, her breathing gradually stabilized. And the woman slowly opened her eyes, tears streaming down.
“W-Where…?”
“The bedroom, where else?”
“Ah…”
Despite his curt reprimand, the shepherdess seemed half-lost, glancing slowly around the room as if enchanted. When her gaze returned to Izar, his heart involuntarily raced.
Her tear-soaked green eyes appeared enraptured.
More transparent than the underside of leaves in sunlight, and more beautiful than any jewel he had ever seen.
Then, the woman smiled the most dazzling smile he had ever seen.
“Izar.”
While cradling his face with both hands,
For the first time, in a hushed whisper, she uttered his name.
