Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 67
Desire and disaster
The moment her small hands touched his skin, his whole body felt dizzy as if he was falling off a cliff. Her quiet voice cut through the darkness and permeated his ears.
“I had such a terrifying nightmare…”
And her eyes, soaked with tears, slowly blinked while looking only at him. Izar couldn’t breathe, just meeting her gaze.
All he could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat and her fading voice.
“But this is reality, isn’t it?”
“That… what…”
His voice sounded so hoarse it felt strange to him. However, when the shepherdess leaned her forehead against his chest, he could no longer speak.
“I dreamt of what happened after you left.”
“……”
“It was just a dream, thankfully…”
The woman began to sob softly, her tears warming the skin they touched. The hair touching his chest tickled.
Or maybe it was the surface of his heart that felt ticklish.
This irritation was unbearable, making him want to flee, but he couldn’t bring himself to push away the woman clinging to him as though he was her lifeline.
No, he wasn’t even sure why his hands were trembling.
Just embracing her seemed like it would be the end of him.
“Lord Izar.”
But when she called his name again, his head naturally lowered as if pulled by a string.
Then, Izar realized.
Facing her directly was far worse than just embracing her.
When Ducal Lady Atria once asked for a kiss, he had scoffed at her inwardly, but…
“Ugh.”
A wave of unknown warmth sent shivers down his back, and a stifled breath escaped.
Before he could do anything more foolish, Izar hurriedly embraced her.
Her body fit perfectly in his arms. The moment he felt her softness against his firmness, he bit his mouth harshly.
Overwhelmed by fatigue and the afterimage of the dream, his vision swirled.
To be in such a situation, embracing a sobbing woman, was utterly mad unless he was out of his mind.
‘…Please.’
He desperately wished she would stop crying.
Izar had always felt anxious and unable to bear seeing women cry. If the cause was something he could slash with his sword, he’d want to break it immediately.
But this woman’s sorrow was formless, impossible to slash away. He couldn’t bring himself to soothe her tenderly.
Instead, he awkwardly scolded, reaching the limits of his patience.
“Just go to sleep now, like this.”
“Hiic…”
“It’s just a dream. The shock of it just got to you.”
It was a cold-hearted wish for her to survive on her own if she disliked it.
However, it seemed to work as he felt her smile against his skin.
“Yes…” the shepherdess whispered.
Time passed, maybe a lot or maybe a little.
When the seemingly eternal moment passed, her breath gradually became steady. Only then did Izar sigh in relief.
“Haah.”
Everything was a mess.
From the start, thinking to solve his insomnia by having her beside him was a complete and utter mistake.
“……”
Izar slowly laid the now sleeping shepherdess back on the bed, gazing at her face.
He hadn’t expected her to cry over just a dream.
But what silenced him more was the emotion illuminating those tear-soaked eyes.
More precisely, the emotion shining in the shepherdess’s eyes while looking at him.
…A gaze that suddenly became so irresistible to him that he couldn’t stand it unless it was his.
Like a beast parched for a single drop of water on a brutally hot day, with the ground cracked open.
‘I want it.’
It was an intense craving, as if he had degenerated into a beast obsessed with its prey. His heart pounded so fiercely that his chest heaved rapidly.
‘So much…’
When she opened her eyes again, he wanted to see that look. He felt he could gaze at her endlessly without ever growing tired of it.
In Izar’s life, he had no other hopes or desires other than the restoration of his family’s honor.
Perhaps that’s why this desire felt like a sharp thirst, cutting through the fibers of his muscles.
Had he ever felt such a desire before?
This instinctive taste of desire was not entirely unfamiliar. Maybe he had felt something similar when he was eighteen.
“I’ve gone mad.”
Izar whispered to himself.
“I must be absolutely insane.”
He pressed hard against his eyes, trying to erase the afterimage of those green eyes. It took a barrage of internal curses for him to finally calm down.
“…Haah. Fine.”
He had to admit only what was necessary.
This woman not only tormented him but also stimulated his very soul and body like a disaster.
Perhaps that’s why he had jumped into the lake after her—all those years ago.
Stimulated by something unknown.
Temporarily charmed by foolish vigor.
‘But if I continue like this, I’ll really make a mistake.’
