Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 72
‘Wake up.’
Izar silently observed the carriage submerged in the late summer night darkness.
They had to camp for days on the way to the capital, and the shepherdess was inside that carriage now.
Through the window, the shepherdess was talking to Van Dike, the escort knight assigned to her.
‘Have they gotten close already?’
Sir Dike was by no means a poor choice.
Upright, honest, and compassionate. He was suitable as a woman’s guard.
Izar knew of the man’s integrity and that he was not the kind to harbor ill intentions towards his lord’s woman, but…
‘You never know.’
The shepherdess had also been approached by that son of Deneb, who had flirted with many ladies in the court.
Surely, if the shepherd’s looks did not pass that scoundrel’s aesthetic standards, he would have only remained polite with her.
Biting back the desire to bite his tongue, Izar glanced at his bastard wife from the corner of his eye.
‘If it’s that much… Yes, it might attract some men.’
Feeling a bit pettily frustrated by his own increasingly lenient aesthetic standards, he resolved to acknowledge what needed to be acknowledged.
The ashen hair he once internally scoffed at as drab now shimmered with a strange silver under the moonlight, fluttering lightly.
The face, once gaunt from hardship, now had a pleasantly full appearance, seemingly soft to the touch.
Above all, not knowing what Sir Dike had said but seeing her laugh—
Her vibrant green eyes curved like crescent moons, quite affectionately.
“…”
From Izar’s heart to the roof of his mouth, a bitter taste slowly rose. He had enjoyed the thrill when that woman smiled at him, even when he scorned her as a ‘bastard’, the stimulation was thrilling.
But that pleasure vanished like a mirage. He felt as if he had been robbed by someone.
And a different emotion tried to flood in, replacing the bitter sense of deprivation. A sticky, dense desire that made it hard to breathe.
“That face…”
He wanted to make that smiling face cry pitifully.
So pitifully that she couldn’t continue a proper conversation because she was gasping for breath.
He wanted her to cry tears, gasping for air if he didn’t kiss or touch her.
Just like he saw in the dream…
Izar forcibly turned his upper body away from the direction of the carriage.
The heat emanating from his waist was still bearable for now.
* * *
Could her husband be watching her?
Freesia quietly observed Izar’s face from the carriage.
He had been constantly on horseback, overseeing the camp, and it was difficult to see where his gaze was directed due to the glare of the sun behind him.
Now, having inadvertently learned about Van’s family history, she needed to focus on this conversation.
“So you had a sister, Sir Van Dike.”
“Yes, Madam.”
“I was too ignorant about the family matters of the household’s knights.”
Somehow, the topic of the escort knight’s family background came up. And hearing this story for the first time, Freesia inwardly flinched. She hadn’t paid attention to such details in her past life for three years.
But Van quickly shook his head.
“Not at all. Before our lord and lady were married, that child had already entered a relationship with a knight from another domain.”
“Oh, she was of marriageable age then.”
“Yes. Actually… she is the same age as you, Madam.”
“Ah.”
With a bit of hesitation, Van added more information, and Freesia felt she understood this knight a little better.
‘Maybe he was reminded of his sister living far away when he saw me.’
Before she became a duchess in name only, she had hardly known this man, and even now, there was no particular benefit she could offer him.
But perhaps it was this very personal sentiment that made him especially adhere to the right path compared to other knights.
However, misinterpreting Freesia’s expression, Van corrected his sentiment. As someone serving her and the ducal household, comparing her a member of his family could inadvertently cross a line if taken the wrong way.
“I misspoke. It was a rude remark to make to you, Madam.”
“No, Sir Dike.”
She didn’t think the knight’s sentiment was rude—far from it.
Rather, the idea of someone seeing her and being reminded of their family gave a somewhat poignant feeling.
‘Family, family.’
Having been married and once pregnant, it was still such a foreign word to her. What if her mother had given birth to just one more child, so that she had a sibling?
If there was one more being in this world she could rely on?
‘If that were the case… maybe, the time I spend in this life would have been different.’
The hope to see Izar’s tears had come about only because, in this life filled with uncertainties, he was her only choice.
And apart from loving him, this was a goal that she had drawn realistically. One step further, and it would be false hope.
With only a year given, there were too many variables to start living amongst strangers from the beginning.
Those who have come to harbor even a slight fondness for her now, after all, are people she couldn’t meet without going through Izar.
So, Izar was the best and the only choice Freesia could imagine.
‘But if there had been other blood relatives who loved me…?’
Maybe when she opened her eyes anew, she would have chosen to flee with that blood relative from the start.
‘Even if only for a year, I would have wanted to live comfortably as a commoner with my family.’
And what if Izar, until the very end, neither trusts nor yearns for her in this second life?
‘Then I might choose to fall asleep beside that relative.’
But lamenting the nonexistent was futile. That much was enough for her unborn child, buried under that thorny bush.
Eventually, after saying goodbye to Van, Freesia prepared to sleep inside the carriage.
…But just as she was about to drift into light sleep, the carriage shook as if there was an earthquake.
‘Huh? What’s that?’
Wondering if this was truly her first experience of an earthquake, her curled-up body suddenly jolted awake.
However, the sound of metallic friction and men’s shouting from outside sent chills down her spine.
‘Could it be bandits?’
But at that moment, Thea, who seemed to have just woken up as well, knocked on the carriage door with a terrified face.
“Madam! Madam, you need to wake up! You have to get out of the carriage!”
“Thea, what’s happening?”
“Monsters!”
“…!”
