Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 77
The moment the shepherdess’s, no, Freesia’s hand touched his cheek, Izar’s mouth went dry. Hadn’t there been a moment like this in his darkest dreams? When this woman looked up at him with sorrowful eyes from below, stroking his cheek.
His mind reeled as her considerably thinner fingers wiped away the grime that could not be removed, caressing his cheek throughout.
He had thought that dream was merely the outlet of mere lust. Merely the natural urge that arises when embracing any woman in thin clothes. Somehow, by chance, it was this shepherdess that the sparks had landed on.
But if what he felt was merely instinctual carnal desire, why was he so foolishly lost in those eyes? Why was he shaken by the greed to possess those bright, clear eyes evermore?
Izar tried to avert his gaze from those flickering green eyes and chided himself.
“…Me? What foolishness.”
However, after scolding, he felt even more foolish internally. Wasn’t he just like a pretentious young man, puffing up in front of the shepherdess to seem impressive, feigning bravery?
“I know. That you’re alright.”
“…”
“I’m only worried, that’s all.”
But Izar momentarily forgot that this woman’s voice was just as sinfully tempting as her gaze. Every word that entered his ears, although known, felt strangely thrilling. The warmth flowing from the palm touching his cheek felt foreign.
Foreign and frightening… and although she had only touched him once, it seemed as if the burn would leave a lasting scar. No one had ever caressed him in such a manner. He had always been the one in charge of the Duchy since his coming of age.
‘There might have been such peaceful times, yet…’
But if it’s too distant to recall, then such warmth might as well have never existed.
“…”
The veins on the back of his hand holding Freesia’s ankle twitched. What would happen if he leaned forward just a little? Right now, in the cramped carriage, alone together. Could they become close enough to kiss, just as they had in a dream?
‘And if we did?’
For a moment, dropping his duty-bound rationality, forgetting the outside reality…
“…Duke?”
But as her lips quivered, the heat slowly encroaching on his body hesitated. Duke. Right. He was the lord of Arcturus. From birth until death. And this woman was a lowly bastard.
The blemish of a noble family, like his hateful half-brother hidden somewhere in the world…
A ‘bastard’.
“!”
As the thought crossed his mind, Izar abruptly got up. The fingers that had touched his cheek left only heat and moved away.
“Everything else is alright then?”
“Huh? Oh, yes.”
Freesia stumbled in her response, but Izar didn’t listen any further and kicked out of the carriage.
He still had much to sort out, and the task of tending to the wounds was complete. Why then did his steps toward where the knights were feel so heavy? As if an invisible thread tied to the carriage was making it difficult to move forward.
“…Ha.”
Izar repeatedly brushed his face with his hand, drawing breaths as if he had just emerged from hot water, the chill seeping into his skin.
‘I must get to the capital as soon as possible.’
Although the monster attack had startled everyone, he felt the need to hurry because it seemed necessary to send this woman away as soon as possible, out of sight, before much worse feelings than mere lust fully spread throughout his body.
***
The servant who pushed and knocked down the illegitimate duchess was immediately apprehended.
He insisted that he had not known it was ‘that’ duchess in the darkness, but since there was no other woman of her stature there, it did not serve as a good enough excuse to spare his life.
His body was eventually torn apart by monsters and buried next to that of another deceased servant. Such deaths were common in the empire. Normally, everyone would have mourned but accepted it as part of life.
However, the sentiment surrounding this death was different. The monster they encountered when their guard was down was a terrifyingly formidable creature.
Seeing someone summarily executed because of an ‘illegitimate’ person, the group felt it was unfair treatment. Even the young knights whispered among themselves during their guard shifts.
“…Could it be because of that side?”
“What do you mean?”
“The monsters suddenly appearing this time.”
One young knight glanced back and gestured with his chin. He was implying the carriage. Among the group, only the highest-ranking lady could ride in the carriage. No one really treated the person inside as a ‘lady,’ though.
“Ha, surely not.”
“But there must be a reason these anomalies keep happening?”
Perhaps allowing an illegitimate person to enter a noble house had angered the gods, as it deviated from doctrine. It was the maximum limit of what could be conceived in an inexplicable situation and the most tempting explanation.
However, there was one reason why the knights found it difficult to actively engage with this perilously crossing thought.
“…But didn’t the Duke personally treat her?”
“Ahem.”
“And made an example of Sir Dike by saying he couldn’t protect her.”
