Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 82
“I didn’t know you had a habit of eavesdropping.”
“…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to listen in.”
“Fine.”
He was aware of the woman’s presence outside the door. Once you become aware of someone, even their faintest footsteps echo distinctly.
<It’s obvious how much of a burden she is to this family.>
So, he had deliberately made that remark when he noticed her presence, not only as a reminder to himself but for the shepherdess to hear as well.
The shepherdess had spoken of love before, but it was time for her to cut such feelings short for her own sake…
He deliberately ignored the shepherdess, focusing only on the tasks that needed addressing, such as sharing information about the monster’s anomaly with the temple.
“What brings you here. There shouldn’t have been any discomfort at the mansion.”
“There wasn’t any discomfort. It’s just that my maid and I were planning to briefly visit the capital’s business district, so I came to ask for permission in advance.”
“What kind of outing requires such formal permission?”
“I wanted to pick up the item meant for His Highness the Imperial Grandson and also visit Maia Street.”
Maia Street was named after the empress who was dearly beloved by the emperor. It was known that the emperor took special interest in this area, meaning that it was lined with shops difficult for ordinary noble families to approach casually.
Izar glanced at the shepherdess through the letter.
‘Damn it.’
She seemed even prettier than before, as if a pupa had shed its shell and transformed into a butterfly with fluttering, bright wings.
He almost asked whether Sir Dike would accompany her as an escort, knowing full well what the answer would be.
‘At this point, I might even end up nagging him about why he remains single.’
It was absurd. Yet, as he had resolved earlier, he sternly addressed the shepherdess.
“How impertinent to go to such a place.”
“Ah…”
“Venturing out to that place will only end with you being scorned at the door for being a bastard.”
“…”
“Rather than embarrassing yourself in the capital for nothing, just go where you must.”
The bitter bile rose unbidden as he spoke, tormenting even him now whenever he sneered at her.
If she wanted dresses or jewels while at the mansion, she could freely call merchants to provide them in styles similar to that annoying Deneb attire, or even purchase peridot ornaments resembling her eyes…
Izar frowned and scolded her more harshly.
“Just leave. From now on, don’t come unless I call you.”
“…Yes.”
The shepherdess bowed deeply and then quietly left the room. Watching the door close, Izar swallowed a wave of nauseating pain.
“Ugh.”
A forgotten pain revisited him, accompanied by vague memories of his father drinking spirits late into the night, unlike the beer or wine at meals, truly to forget everything.
‘…And in a state that was not good at all.’
Although his father remained his idol, there was no need to follow into such a downfall.
Despite not being fond of alcohol, at that moment, he felt an urge to drink.
As if it could help forget these inner conflicts.
* * *
After being dismissed from Izar’s room, Freesia walked down the corridor in silence before murmuring,
“I guess I owe an apology to Thea.”
She wanted to repay Thea for not abandoning her by at least showing her around some interesting places. She herself wanted to try new experiences, too.
It was still most important to her that Izar show some sadness over her death, but after the recent monster attack and hearing Thea’s request, her thoughts had certainly changed.
‘Next year, I really won’t be here anymore.’
Those who died in the monster attack wouldn’t have imagined that would be their last. Death in this world tended to come unexpectedly when one was most off guard.
‘So knowing the day of one’s end is rather a stroke of luck.’
Therefore, she realized anew that it was meaningful to experience as much as possible until the very end, as wasn’t it the memories that lasted even unto the soul’s final moments? But…
“…”
<It’s obvious how much of a burden she is to this family.>
<How impertinent to go to such a place.>
For the first time since her rebirth, she felt utterly abandoned, as if she’d been thrown into the streets.
Perhaps, no matter how hard she tried, nothing would remain in the end. Yet, this despair was accompanied by an even greater sense of crisis.
‘Lord Izar has been rejecting invitations even more than in the past life.’
