Come and Cry at My Funeral - Chapter 99
A vow not kept
Freesia struggled to clamp her mouth shut. Even as retching overtook her, self-mocking lamentation would not cease.
“Why… Why…”
Why had someone other than Izar found her? No, it was better that this person had come instead of those vulgar nobles.
And to be honest…
She hadn’t truly expected it to be Izar.
If it had been so obvious that he would come, she wouldn’t have felt such awe when she momentarily believed it was him.
‘But why am I so disappointed?’
Since she had opened her eyes again, she had always lowered her expectations. By setting her desires to the bare minimum, she wouldn’t have to suffer disappointment.
Hadn’t Izar said that if there were more important matters, it would be difficult for him to stay by her side?
‘But in reality, someone else found me…’
That someone knelt on the ground to check if she was alright.
When she was treated like an animal and felt miserable, there was someone who didn’t care if grass stains marred their knees…
Yet, mingled with the tears streaming down her cheeks, her genuine, broken heart spilled out through her lips.
“It wasn’t you, my lord, whom I wanted to come.”
“…”
“I… I have always…”
She knew she shouldn’t say such things. There wasn’t time to sit here babbling.
Just because she was hurt, she didn’t want to wield the sword of resentment against others.
“Ugh, ngh…”
With hands dulled by medication, Freesia covered her face.
At the Antares banquet of her previous life, she had actually wished for her ‘husband’ to find her. To rescue her from the darkness where she was being beaten.
To shout out and ask who had done this to her.
‘He must have been busy discussing family matters with others back then too.’
Even so.
Even if that was the case. No matter how disgraceful a wife she was, wouldn’t he be curious if he left for a long time?
Couldn’t he at least send a servant from Arcturus to find her?
“Ugh, ah…”
The tears touching her numb palms were lukewarm. But the pain burning inside her was vivid.
She just wanted to feel, even for once, that she was the most valuable person in someone’s life. It would be perfect if it was love, but…
This life too seemed impossible for that, so she thought of herself as ‘useful’.
She lied to herself that it was enough. But Izar never cherished her in any life.
She was always the ‘unwanted burden’.
When he hurt her with sharp words, she understood countless times.
Because of the Emperor, because he inherently hated deceit, because she was a bastard and a lowly shepherd.
‘I don’t want to keep trying to understand anymore…’
But then a warm sensation enveloped her head. It felt like basking in sunlight, and Freesia slowly lifted her head.
“My lady.”
Albireo was looking at her seriously, unlike his usual demeanor.
The blue eyes she thought were somewhat frivolous now seemed as solid as rock.
“I have temporarily cast a spell to make you invisible.”
“Ah…”
“Under no circumstances should you come out. If you do, the magic will break.”
Albireo stood up and turned toward the entrance of the building.
“Please wait here for a moment. I will go and find your maid.”
“…”
Freesia didn’t have the strength to reply aloud, so she just nodded slightly.
As she watched the man’s back disappear, her mind grew increasingly blank. Throughout her life, she could count on one hand the times she had cried like this in front of someone else.
‘I want to forget.’
She wanted to forget the moment she broke down and sobbed so miserably in front of Albireo.
She wanted to forget the pain of being thrown here like garbage by the maids, the humiliation in the ‘storeroom’, and everything she heard about her mother.
She wanted to blacken out all those memories completely.
‘I want to forget, everything…’
But was her dulled sense starting to return? Her vision and hearing were slightly clearer than before.
And then Freesia noticed two silhouettes reflected in the window diagonally from her.
Atria and Izar stood together.
“…Ah.”
Only then did she realize why the Duchess Antares had instructed the maids to leave her in this wide estate.
There was more to it than just the threat of those vile men she had seen earlier.
It was to show her this scene, to show how well those two fit together.
Atria was clasping her hands and whispering something. Even to Freesia’s eyes, she looked very enchanting and lovely.
And Izar.
He was staring at Atria with an intense gaze, a gaze he hadn’t turned on Freesia in recent times.
A gaze so fixated on the most beautiful woman in the capital.
‘I feel dizzy.’
Suddenly, her head grew heavy. She couldn’t breathe and soon her body tilted toward the ground.
