Conquest Complete, So Why Is the Affection Dropping? - Chapter 62
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“So it was all an illusion.”
“Kaint…”
“Protecting my siblings and comrades, watching the citizens of this Holy City live happily – that was my life’s purpose, Shin Joo.”
Kaint didn’t show anger. He didn’t wail, scream, break things in rage, or explosively release his emotions.
He just spoke calmly while gazing into the distance with empty eyes.
That made my heart ache even more.
‘The bad ending didn’t need to be this cruel.’
He was a man who wanted to live his life serving and dedicating himself to others. Was it necessary to reveal so violently that not only was his life’s purpose meaningless, but everything he had done was futile?
I thought the system’s cruelty was limited to me, the player. I expected that failing to achieve an ending with Kaint, failing in our love, would result in a hollow conclusion where I gained nothing.
At worst, I imagined he might resent me for falling for another man during our wedding or regret loving me while blaming me for causing such horrible events.
That was the worst bad ending I could imagine.
But I never expected the bad ending would involve shattering everything Kaint believed in and plunging his life into an abyss of despair, rather than him resenting me.
It would have been enough for just me, the player, to get a bad ending. Kaint did nothing wrong, so why be this cruel?
“So I’ve lived my entire life protecting mere illusions.”
“……”
I clasped my hands together, my lips trembling. I didn’t know how to comfort Kaint. No, would comfort even be possible? Would he even hear my words?
Outside the window, repeating numbers were already rippling through the scattered clouds, and even the sunlight had crumbled like sand, losing its sparkle.
The landscape that had been a harmony of blue and white had transformed into green 0s and 1s floating in black space.
The space where we stood began to collapse slowly. The walls blurred, small 0s and 1s trickled down from cracks in the ceiling, and the carpet beneath our feet lost its pattern.
“Shin Joo.”
Kaint slowly turned to face me.
“Are you an illusion, too?”
“…N-no.”
I shook my head. I’m not an illusion. Because I’m this game’s player.
Even if this world completely disappears due to the bad ending, I won’t die or vanish – I’ll just return to reality. If I start over, I could return here again.
“Is that so?”
Kaint stepped toward me.
“Then my life wasn’t entirely meaningless after all.”
He looked at me like someone who had found a single ray of light in darkness filled with nothing but despair.
It wasn’t hard to imagine how I must appear to him – the only piece of ‘reality’ left for someone who just realized that his family, comrades, the citizens who loved him, and even this entire world were merely illusions created by 0s and 1s.
But that made it even harder to speak through the lump in my throat.
“Kaint. I’m not an illusion. But…”
“……”
“But, you see…”
How could I tell him that I was the only one who wasn’t an illusion?
No, I didn’t want to tell him. How could I possibly tell Kaint, who had lost everything except me, that this was just a game and that he was a virtual being made of 0s and 1s?
However, it was pointless to debate whether I should wrap it in lies or keep my mouth shut.
I had underestimated the judgment of an admiral who had always led his forces to victory in wars that straddled the line between life and death.
“Am I an illusion?”
“…!”
I looked up at Kaint with wide eyes.
That was the one thing I really didn’t want him to know.
Why does he have to be so perceptive?
Although Kaint was the one who learned the most devastating truth he never wanted to acknowledge, my face reflected in his golden eyes was the one contorted as if I’d been the one rejected in love.
“Joo-ah, I finally understand why you alone felt different. Why I wanted to become one with you through marriage.”
“Kaint…”
“But what I don’t understand is why you accepted my feelings.”
Kaint smiled bitterly.
“Did you pity me? Or did you think that love from an illusion wasn’t even worth rejecting?”
***
Kaint’s ‘first’ memory was of looking out at the vast sea from aboard a warship.
He was an admiral commanding a fleet, having just defeated enemy warships and achieved victory in battle.
As if it were natural, they fired victory shots into the air. His first commands felt as familiar as if he’d been giving them for years, and the information that the man wearing a monocle standing beside him was his adjutant Nix was naturally embedded in his mind.
He was a hero beloved by the Holy City’s residents, and he had taken in and cared for the young siblings and children of his fallen comrades as his sworn siblings.
Twenty-one years of moments he had never actually experienced melted naturally into his mind. That’s why Kaint had never questioned his own existence.
He took pride in protecting the Holy City and its people and found purpose in watching over their happiness.
There was no reason to doubt when these thoughts began or whether his values were truly derived from his own experiences and judgments.
Everything was just too natural and obvious.
No, perhaps there were some strange aspects, but he never harbored suspicions. He couldn’t.
Who could possibly imagine that this tangible, visible, feelable world was false and that he himself, who spoke and breathed and saw the world, was actually an illusion?
“At first, you felt strange to me.”
Divine Master, the savior who would rescue this dying world. The divine representative who bestowed victory’s blessing upon him. When he first saw her, Kaint somehow felt that she alone seemed detached from this world.
Was it because she carried divinity within her that she felt so different? That’s why he tried to maintain proper etiquette and draw boundaries.
But Shin Joo asked for his help, and Kaint, who had never hesitated to dedicate himself to those who needed him, declared he would protect her and brought her to his castle.
‘I was the one who didn’t know my place.’
To think that he, a mere illusion, believed he could protect her.
Why hadn’t she corrected his arrogant thoughts? When she knew he was an illusion.
Was it because she was kind-hearted and didn’t want to hurt him? Or did she think it wasn’t worth the effort to reveal the truth to someone who was just an illusion?
“Joo-ah. I love you.”
Perhaps falling in love with her was inevitable. How could one not fall for the only genuine existence in a world full of falsehoods? Like a prisoner chained to a wall seeing reality for the first time after only watching shadows, how could he not fall in love?
Perhaps it was natural that he was helplessly drawn to her, as if welcoming a new master of his chains.
Maybe even the fact that he had never allowed any woman close to him until now was somehow meant to be, reserved just for her.
But one thing troubled him.
“What I don’t understand is why you accepted my feelings.”
Shin Joo, Shin Joo-ah.
The things she liked were yellow flowers that resembled the color of Kaint’s eyes.
The blue sea that reminded her of his hair.
And the number 10, made up of the smallest 1 and 0 placed side by side.
Doesn’t it seem like the answers were fabricated just to give hope to someone like him who loves her?
“Did you pity me? Or…”
His heart wavered aimlessly, unable to find its bearings. It was natural that he couldn’t find his bearings when everywhere he looked was nothing but illusions.
“Did you think that love from an illusion wasn’t even worth rejecting?”
“Kaint!”
She raised her voice and grabbed his hand.
Slender arms with delicate fingers. The warmth of her hand felt through his gloves was still so comforting. So much so that he wanted to lose himself in that sweet warmth, forgetting even that the world was coming to an end.
“What are you saying, pity? Who would do such things out of pity?”
Her usually gentle brow furrowed. Her fragile voice trembled. Tears welled up in her brilliant green eyes. He thought the waves of the world had already scattered into 0s and 1s, but it seemed they had been drawn into her eyes instead.
“When you like someone, you want to touch them, to feel them. Why don’t you understand that?”
“You… like me?”
“Of course! Who would marry someone they don’t like!”
Whoosh. It felt like a great wave was surging in his chest. Kaint impulsively grabbed her hand and lifted her into his arms.
“Kaint?”
“Let me get you to safety.”
“What… Ah!”
He couldn’t leave her in this crumbling world. Unlike him, she wasn’t an illusion.
No, it wasn’t just for that reason.
It was because he couldn’t simply stand by and do nothing while the woman he loved was in danger.
