Emperor's Alternate - Chapter 53
“If news spreads that I saved you again, people will start paying attention to you.”
Due to a sprained ankle, Lecan had to carry me out of the cave. Near the cave, there were carcasses of monsters and beasts, indicating that he had taken care of them in advance. Seated tiredly in front of a large tree, Lecan, with a weary expression, had firmly instructed me.
“It’s best if we separate and leave with some time in between. I’ll go out first and naturally lure people to this tree. You stay here quietly and wait for the rescue.”
Even when problems arose, Lecan promptly offered solutions. My gratitude for Lecan’s efforts to protect my secret went unspoken. I just quietly observed and mindlessly picked up on his way of doing things.
‘How interesting it would be if we worked together, just like you said.’
That was the last thought that crossed my mind while I was with Lecan.
“Thanks to the emergency supplies I had, I managed to survive. As soon as I sensed something was wrong, I found a hiding spot in a small cave and avoided most of the danger at night. When I saw the signal flares in the sky, I cautiously made my way towards them.”
The Empress seemed somewhat skeptical despite my explanation, but she eventually relaxed, showing concern in her eyes.
“I see. You’re a wise child, so you must have survived well. Winter, you become stronger in extreme situations. I know you well.”
“…”
Hearing my given name after a long time felt awkward, bone-chilling. While I didn’t harbor any resentment towards the courtesan, being called Winter reminded me of what I had lost. Somehow, being registered as summer-born Leyesha felt like I had traded away pieces of my identity.
It’s somewhat heartbreaking that I can read a book once and remember every sentence in the order it was written, but I have no memory of the day I was born.
I wished I could remember how warmly I was loved during the seven or so years spent with my family. I wish I could hold on to all of that time until it was tattered, so that I could pull it out in the coldest moments and hold the pieces close to my heart.
For me, time wasn’t a linear concept. All versions of myself at different ages coexisted simultaneously. That’s what it meant to have a memory that resisted forgetting.
“Queen Mother.”
I said the title I hadn’t uttered since she became Empress.
Her expression grew strange. I couldn’t quite understand this person. I don’t know why I couldn’t hate this woman, a woman who, by all appearances, was no good to the empire, a woman so pure in her lust.
She always looked at me with cold eyes, as if to make it clear that I was only a tool to her. But at the same time, she didn’t hesitate to embrace me warmly—something she never gave her own son, Teiles II. When she worriedly asked me how I could have survived, she kept her eyes focused on me even when one of her precious earrings fell off.
At the banquet hall, she persistently offered me drinks. And whenever someone praised the Emperor in conversation, she glanced in my direction with pride in her eyes. They dragged me into ridiculous hunting contests or cheerfully planned events, insisting that nothing good would come of it without me.
They love me, hate me, take pride in me, guard me, worry about me, and doubt me—all while allowing only me the trust that they don’t grant to anyone else.
“I will never betray the Queen Mother.”
“…”
When I asked Lecan if he would rebel, he remained silent. Perhaps I expected him to deny it, to tell me that he wouldn’t commit treason because I had told him I would be the first to stop it. That he wouldn’t rebel because he didn’t want me to die. That he wouldn’t overturn the sky and change the sun.
‘But Lecan and I aren’t anything to each other anymore.’
He is a traitor. That’s the conclusion I came to after this hunt. Lecan will one day turn this country upside down, overthrow Teiles II, execute the Empress, and after toppling the empire, he’ll establish a new nation under his name and reign as its first emperor to the cheers of the masses.
I was certain of that future. Every time I sensed my wavering heart, I realized that Lecan and I were incompatible beings. He was the one who would eventually sever the last thread of my life, even if unintentionally.
How many insulting sentences would the courtesan before me be sentenced to as the last Empress of a fallen empire? Every scandal and unfavorable element of her background would be dug up, and every aspect of her would be portrayed as nothing but a thoroughly evil woman.
‘Because that’s the order of things.’
When a new nation is created, it is an inevitable part of the process of convincing the public why a fallen empire was bound to fail. Facts would be distorted, sincerity would be mocked, and faults exaggerated. And so, even long after her death, the courtesan would continue to be used as a tool to prove the legitimacy of the new empire.
Hundreds or even thousands of years later, exposed to endless humiliation within the pages of history.
Because that’s what happens every time a new empire is created.
