Even Death Was Taken Away by That Obsession - Chapter 12
Feiden’s eyes should be the color of a blue field on the cusp of autumn.
But those green eyes were tinged with a harsh golden hue.
It was the appearance when using ‘power’.
‘He must know that I shudder at the mere sight of that color.’
Feiden had intentionally, or rather, deliberately adopted golden eyes to tease me.
Quickly becoming displeased, I bristled all over.
“We must have been quite close. Judging by how you think it’s okay to tease me like this.”
“Of course. Haine, we were…”
Feiden playfully stuck out his tongue.
Eventually, he put on a gentle smile befitting the High Priest’s holy features.
“Much deeper than mere friends, you know.”
His breath suddenly drew closer, and a fresh scent washed over me.
The beastlike eyes had already returned to their original green color.
“Come to think of it, you’ve become weaker, both in power and body. Is it because you’ve been asleep for too long?”
Feiden muttered, stroking his chin as if appraising a product.
The white priestly robes rustled with Feiden’s movements.
The path he had lived as my friend must have been far from that of a clergyman. How dare he act as the High Priest.
‘I want to get the information and leave quickly. How can I make this guy talk?’
Getting angry would only make him smile like a fox, that much was obvious.
It was close enough to strangle him if I reached out…
Feiden handed me a thick blanket.
Accepting and wrapping it around myself, I sank into the sofa and crossed my legs askew, as if I had no intention of playing along leisurely.
It was a posture that my old self, not the one from Aintz, would have likely taken.
“Enough with the jokes, will you tell me properly?”
I stared coldly into Feiden’s eyes.
“Everything you know.”
Feiden’s eyes narrowed as if he finally approved of my slight change in attitude.
“Well, I suppose it would be greedy to expect all memories to return at once?”
The green eyes, clear to the point of being overtaken by a subtle madness, whispered.
“Ian seems to like you very much. Did you choose the role of a cute pet cat here?”
“Enough with the jokes, hurry…”
As I waved my hand in irritation, Feiden grabbed my arm and made a shushing gesture.
The dress wrinkled mercilessly where his hand gripped my arm.
It was a force as if he was trying to crush my wrist.
Feiden knows well that this body is not that of an ordinary person.
That’s why he’s gripping so tightly as if to break it.
“Your docile appearance, it’s so ill-fitting that I can’t stand to watch.”
Unlike the crushing grip, the High Priest’s whisper was gentle.
“I want to help you regain the rest of your memories as soon as possible.”
Just as my eyes were about to become sharp enough to stab Feiden to death, the strength gradually left his grip.
I hugged my throbbing arm, but he didn’t seem to particularly care as he asked.
“On the day you first took the medicine, what memory returned to you?”
“That I’ve repeated countless lives.”
“What else?”
“That it’s all because of a body that doesn’t die but sleeps, and a special power.”
“What about ‘him’?”
“Other than that he was a being similar to a god, I’m not sure. In fact, even his face isn’t clear… but I know I’m running away from ‘him’.”
Feiden merely nodded his chin as if telling me to say more, with dry eyes as if looking down at a pretty picture.
“That my body became like this, that I became unable to die, it’s all because of that man. And that I made a bet staking death…”
The more I spoke, the more my voice trembled.
Despite the incompleteness of my memories, it was due to the fear already etched into every part of my body.
While staying at the Grand Duke’s residence. One night, I had a dream.
“Even if you lose your memories, you’ll come to love me.”
A mysterious voice sank me into a deep mire.
A chilling dream of body heat vividly constricting my flesh.
Only when faced with my trembling fear did Feiden change his tone to feign kindness with a sneer.
“You must be curious about the bet. Let me tell you a few conditions, first, the end of the bet is the day of the first snow this winter.”
That’s when ‘he’ will appear and ask who you love.
It’s a question that will make you speak the truth due to his ‘power’.
“So you must fall in love. Even if you don’t love anyone, it’s your loss.”
Feiden blurred his eyes, mixing pity and mockery exquisitely.
“The price is, as it has been until now, being eternally subordinated without escaping his shackles.”
In other words, you must spend eternity with him in a body that can never die.
“But if you win, he must grant your wish.”
“My wish being?”
“Naturally, death.”
Feiden made a gesture of strangling my neck without hesitation.
“To live a human-like life and meet a free death. That’s what you bet on.”
I asked, lowering his threatening hand without much agitation.
“Then who exactly is ‘he’ here?”
Having grasped the general outline of the bet, I posed the most important question.
Given that not loving him is the most crucial part of the bet, isn’t it extremely important to know what he looks like in Aintz?
“Ah, about that.”
But Feiden pretended as if he had just remembered and pouted playfully.
“I can’t tell you.”
“What?”
I asked again, crumpling the blanket wrapped around me.
“What do you mean you can’t tell me?”
“It’s a condition he set. I can’t reveal ‘his’ identity. Such a shame, isn’t it?”
Feiden raised his hand smoothly and suddenly pretended to sigh falsely.
I didn’t want to play along with his joke at all, so I calmly stared at Feiden’s face.
And I gently pressed him.
“You, you already know where ‘he’ is, don’t you?”
As if it was the correct answer, Feiden immediately tilted his head.
“What to do… I can’t tell you. I’m the one who’s itching to speak more than anyone else?”
“Haa, you’re really useless.”
I frowned deeply at the distorted plan.
The main purpose of visiting the temple today was to find out about ‘him’.
But the mouth of Feiden, the only one who knows about ‘him’, is sealed by the conditions of the bet.
“It’s too much to say I’m useless. I told you, didn’t I? I’m the savior who will lead you to victory.”
“Yeah, right.”
“It’s true? It’s not like there’s absolutely no way for you to find out who ‘he’ is. You just need to regain your memories.”
“What?”
“As long as I don’t ‘directly’ tell you his identity, it’s fine.”
Feiden grabbed my silver hair and kissed it, acting nobly.
“So I’ll make it for you. A medicine that will allow you to remember ‘him’ on your own.”
Feiden’s words meant that even without him telling me directly, I would regain my memories and know who ‘he’ is on my own.
And thus, be cautious not to fall in love with him.
“…Is that possible?”
“Of course? It’s quite tricky to make, so it will take some time.”
The medicine I drank from Feiden before only filled about half of a small test tube.
But even that pushed quite a lot of memories into me.
If I drink that medicine again as per Feiden’s plan, I might finally recall his face this time.
“All you have to do is wait quietly by Ian’s side for the medicine to be completed.”
It was then.
“My lady, are you feeling better!”
Hubert, who had returned at some point, called out to me energetically.
Our conversation ended as the door opened with that commotion.
Feiden said he already had medicine prepared and lamented the old butler’s wasted trip, naturally shooing us away.
Silently, the night had darkened, and the air had suddenly turned cold.
Yielding to Hubert’s urging to quickly return to the mansion, I boarded the carriage and turned my back on the temple.
‘The outcome is decided by who I love.’
Isn’t that incredibly arrogant?
It was a bet he wouldn’t have agreed to unless he was confident that I would come to love him again.
“Hubert.”
“Yes, my lady.”
“Could you not tell Ian about me falling into the fountain today?”
“But…”
“I don’t want to worry him. Feiden also said it was fine.”
“…Understood.”
The old butler reluctantly nodded.
It was a gesture that felt like he was only pretending to agree.
“All you have to do is wait quietly by Ian’s side.”
Is that really true?
Are all of Feiden’s words true, and can I attain freedom, a free death, just by staying by Ian’s side?
Even as I gently closed my eyes from the oncoming fatigue, I trembled without realizing it.
It felt as though my life had never, not even once, flowed smoothly.
