Even Death Was Taken Away by That Obsession - Chapter 15
“If it’s alright with you, may I stay by your side until you fall asleep?”
“Until I fall asleep?”
“Yes. I think only then will I be able to return to my room with peace of mind.”
Ian, who had noticed my fragile state of mind, carefully sat on the edge of the bed.
My heart swelled with incomparable warmth.
The anxiety that had been rising like flames instantly subsided at the sight of his peaceful blue eyes staying by my side.
“If you would… I’d like that.”
With Ian beside me, my situation as a fugitive felt like someone else’s story.
‘At this rate, I might be able to win the bet smoothly.’
Between the waves of drowsiness, a vague hope appeared.
‘Thank you, Ian. For finding me.’
I closed my eyes, naively feeling relieved.
Ian’s eyes didn’t leave me for a long while.
For quite some time, until I fell deeply into darkness.
***
Early in the morning, I opened my eyes with a troubled mind.
Because I had been swayed by Ian’s sudden appearance in the library where I had gone to avoid the bothersome Dantea, my excited feelings wouldn’t easily calm down.
‘They’re saying I just need to stay quietly by Ian’s side like this.’
‘According to Feiden, at least Ian isn’t ‘him’…’
I was confused about how much of that Grand Priest’s words I should believe.
‘Should I visit the temple again?’
No, visiting again after just one day would be too dangerous.
Now that I was known as Ian’s fiancée, I had to be more cautious in my actions.
Even if it was the temple, frequent visits to Feiden might arouse unnecessary suspicion.
Now was the time to wait for the esteemed Grand Priest to return to the Grand Duke’s mansion on his own.
“Miss.”
I pressed my hand to my forehead at the small voice coming from outside the door.
I wanted to organize my thoughts alone a bit longer, but for some reason, I felt irritated.
‘The people in this mansion just won’t leave me alone.’
After delaying my response for a moment and biting my lip, I forced myself to answer gracefully.
“Come in.”
“Excuse me.”
Bonnie, shy like a wildflower from her voice to her mannerisms and actions, entered and greeted me.
“How are you feeling today?”
“Very well. How about you, Bonnie?”
I smiled a fake smile kindly, but Bonnie had good instincts, like a young animal in front of a predator.
“Um, then is there anywhere you’re uncomfortable-”
“Not at all? I’m fine.”
“…I see.”
When I cut her off quickly, Bonnie smiled bitterly, awkwardly taking her own concern.
I thought I had become adept at playing the role of a kind mistress, but perhaps it showed.
‘There are always sharp-eyed children wherever you go.’
Bonnie seemed to be particularly perceptive among them.
“The young master asked if you could have lunch together today. He also said he’d like to visit a few shops in town early.”
“I see. I should hurry and get ready then. Could you call Dantea for me?”
I predicted brightly as if to reassure the fidgeting Bonnie that there was no need to worry.
“I have a feeling today will be an enjoyable day.”
With that certainty, I got up, forgetting about the man who had red eyes just like mine.
***
Reno’s boutique was said to serve only the most distinguished guests.
Ian, who had come here with me, pointed to a necklace he had chosen after much deliberation.
“How about this one?”
I don’t know why he was so sincerely concerned about such a shiny stone, but I responded to his question with care.
“It’s pretty.”
“Really? You’ve been saying everything I’ve picked is pretty.”
I felt caught. So, with a repentant heart, I added.
“It really is pretty, I’ve never seen a design like this before.”
I’m not sure if he’ll believe me, but I was being sincere in my own way. It’s true that this is the one I like best among what I’ve seen today.
“Hmm, I see.”
Ian rolled his eyes playfully.
The necklace he had chosen was something that even a woman uninterested in jewelry would turn to look at and admire.
Thanks to the diamonds densely set with intricate craftsmanship, the subtle shape that made the entire necklace stand out was beautiful even to my eyes.
“Then shall we go with this? It might be a bit flashy, but I think it will suit you really well.”
“Thank you.”
As I nodded gracefully, Hubert clapped his hands slowly in admiration.
“As expected of the young master! Your eye for these things is amazing.”
Our butler, who already had white hair, showed no signs of fatigue even after more than two hours of shopping.
Rather, he was even admirable for creating a warm atmosphere with his gentle words of praise.
The necklace, which had been just a lump of jewels, shone brilliantly in Ian’s hands as if it had been given special meaning.
“Haine, come this way.”
He carefully brushed aside my long hair.
As Ian’s touch reached me, my face quickly reddened at the strange sensation.
‘Just now, it seems like he deliberately brushed the back of my neck?’
As I flinched and closed my eyes tightly before opening them again, I saw Hubert quietly nudging the clerk’s side.
She, who had been staring at us absentmindedly, quickly followed him and left the spot.
“It will go well with the dress you’re wearing today.”
Ian whispered softly, seemingly unaware of them.
It was a tone that lingered in my ears like sweet candy.
“Is that the only good thing? If you’ve decided that, it would be fine if it became real…”
Why am I suddenly remembering yesterday’s words?
I don’t know why I can’t hide my joyful feelings even though I’m flustered.
The lightly dyed shyness tickled my heart annoyingly.
I quietly stole a glance at Ian reflected in the mirror, rolling my eyes slightly.
His lovely face concentrated on fastening the necklace.
Strangely, in front of his blue eyes, all the worries I had been having disappeared.
And private thoughts would take their place instead.
Whether black hair had always been such an elegant color, whether blue light had always been this sweet.
Things I suddenly realized, like whether a man could be such a beautiful being.
“It suits you well, Haine.”
The necklace shone even more when it was on my neck than when I just looked at it.
It was quite heavy due to the densely packed jewels, but it wasn’t bad.
Even if this were handcuffs binding me, if Ian had put them on, I would gladly be restrained.
“You’re so beautiful.”
His lips, which had been muttering, briefly touched my nape and then pulled away.
I flinched like a cat touching water at the unexpected brief sensation.
I gently raised my hand and brushed the spot where his lips had touched.
“Ian?”
“Did I surprise you?”
His lips, trying hard to ask playfully, were close enough to touch the back of my hand.
“You seemed to be worrying too much.”
“About what?”
“About what I said, that it wouldn’t be bad if you became my real fiancée.”
“Ah…”
“I didn’t mean to confuse you.”
His lowered voice was infinitely affectionate.
I was scared of him, who had innocently seen through me.
And I was even more terrified that he might notice an even greater truth.
The reason I stay by Ian’s side is not the kind affection he has shown.
‘I need you, that’s why.’
The things you give me.
Because to win the bet someday, I need to love someone.
‘And you fit that someone so perfectly.’
Ian, who had leaned towards me, gently grabbed both of my cheeks.
And smiling like spring, he playfully distorted my face as if enjoying it.
“Shall we go a bit further, or should we stop here?”
His behavior, simultaneously innocent and mischievous, left me with a tearful expression, caught between conflicting reactions.
“Ian…”
“Okay, I’ll stop.”
Ian immediately let go of his hands and caressed my cheeks where red marks had been left.
In his eyes, I must look like a delicate, beautiful lady who might break if squeezed.
‘But this isn’t me.’
I know better than anyone that I am by no means an innocent lamb.
I’m the type who desires to bring out your rougher side, to provoke wild thoughts in you until you’re driven to conquer me completely.
Yet, how strange it was that I was sparkling with tears despite that.
‘No… it’s disgusting.’
What kind of things have I done to survive all this time?
What kind of things do I have to do to die?
“I’m sorry! Did it hurt?”
Ian asked frantically, perhaps feeling that his teasing had gone too far.
When I shook my head and avoided answering, his careful hands personally tidied up my disheveled appearance.
His eyes, which still didn’t ask anything, were clear to the point of transparency, just like when I first saw them.
So, like a snowman melting under a sun that wasn’t even hot, I became miserable without any preparation.
