Even Death Was Taken Away by That Obsession - Chapter 25

Ian overlooked my suspicious behavior at the temple with clouded eyes.

There’s no way he hadn’t noticed anything.

I know well that he did so deliberately, being the kind person who considers my difficulties first.

Such a person lowered his gaze in bewilderment, then alternately stared at me and Dekiel.

“……The council meeting ended early, so I came to pick you up.”

Why did his casual smile without any particular words look so sad?

“Ian, I missed you.”

Though I burrowed into Ian’s embrace, deliberately turning my back on Dekiel, an awkward silence stood like a wall between Ian and me.

That wall remained intact during our carriage ride home, and even during dinner together.

After spending suffocating hours and finishing my bath, I buried myself in the all-white bed and roughly crumpled the sheets.

If he had just gotten angry and asked why I was so close to him, I could have confidently defended myself.

But Ian’s sadly sunken expression completely sealed my lips.

It would have been nice to talk with Feiden, but that crazy friend had left the mansion early in the morning, busy with hunting festival preparations.

‘Just yesterday he was confidently babbling about sticking around the mansion. When he’s actually needed, he’s no help.’

I was convinced it was all Dekiel’s doing – dunking my head in the water at the temple and attacking me with something sharp.

‘Though I don’t know the reason, who else but that man would want me dead.’

I couldn’t forget those blood-red eyes, identical to mine, that didn’t know what to do with their hatred for me.

No matter how I thought about it, they were eyes that could kill me several times over.

Knock knock-

“Haine, are you asleep?”

Along with a light knock came Ian’s voice.

I hesitated momentarily, wondering if I should pretend to be asleep to avoid showing my irritated state like a tangled thread, but then I got up.

I was grateful for his initiative in coming to me since I was the one who should clear up the misunderstanding and the one who should properly resolve it.

I slowly moved to open the door myself.

With a click, sure enough, there stood Ian with his dark expression.

“Actually, I wanted to talk with you too.”

Trying not to look pitiful, I forced a smile and moved toward the side table.

Ian wrapped his arms around my thin back, holding me tight.

“Ian?”

“Please stay like this for a moment.”

I felt his warm but anxiously trembling body temperature.

Though I couldn’t see Ian’s face, I could tell.

He was trembling like a puppy worried about being abandoned by its owner.

Very lovably so, even though he’s the one holding my leash.

“Haine, I… said I wouldn’t ask anything about you. But, let me ask just one thing.”

His lips burrowed into my shoulder.

His hot breath touched me as if there was a scar there. The sleek fragrance was sweet like a lullaby.

I closed my eyes as if our bare skin were touching. Despite knowing his anxiety, I felt strangely comfortable.

Finally, his clear voice carefully penetrated my ears.

“Is it alright for me to stay by your side?”

Not understanding the question, I turned around slowly with round eyes.

His eyes, looking as if they might shed tears at any moment, held my snow-white form within them.

“What do you mean?”

“Regardless of how much I want you, I wish for your happiness.”

His gentle hand brushed through my hair before cupping my face.

It was a hand that trembled slightly, unlike his usual self.

“If that doesn’t mean being by my side, you can leave me anytime.”

At this faint moonlight-like vulnerability, I placed my hand over Ian’s and asked back.

“What are you suddenly saying?”

“Do whatever you want, Haine.”

Whatever I want?

It wasn’t hard to deduce the reason why Ian was suddenly saying such things and what had caused him to become like this.

‘Dekiel Viente.’

It was because of that man who had deliberately placed his hand on my shoulder and acted so brazenly in front of Ian.

The hatred, or whatever that attention was that he showed me, must have confused Ian.

‘Because of that crazy duke…’

I secretly gritted my teeth. I was angry that the small trail Dekiel left behind dared to shake Ian.

Ian tried to hide his trembling as he meekly whispered.

“If you can be happier somewhere else, it’s okay to leave my side. Your happiness is already my top priority.”

I sadly shook my head at Ian’s noble affection.

Ah, such lovely sorrow.

“Today… I wanted to tell you this.”

After concluding weakly, Ian left the room before I could even hold him back.

Only a coldly settling silence remained in the space that had been full of white fragrance.

A suspicion sprouted that all of this might have been Dekiel’s intention.

Making Ian let go of me under the pretense of it being for my sake. Separating Ian from me.

But perhaps… this end to our relationship might be the happiest conclusion for Ian.

Such worthless conscience suddenly caught in my throat.

Until the morning of the hunting festival three days later, I visited Ian’s office several times.

I walked to his room directly and endlessly waited for him to return from council duties.

But frustratingly enough to drive me mad, I couldn’t meet Ian even once.

***

The morning of the hunting festival arrived.

Finally, I could be with Ian in the carriage heading to the Viente duchy where the festival would be held.

“……”

My lovely lover appeared somewhat gaunt, perhaps from suffering alone all this time.

Though his unrelieved fatigue worried me, separately from that, my heart suddenly fluttered at his exceedingly refined features.

‘How did this man appear before me?’

I love his night-dark hair.

Needless to say, I love how he reminds me of spring despite having such intensely blue eyes.

His small smile and even his scent perfectly matched me in every way.

I thought there would never be another man as perfect as Ian in all my lifetimes.

‘I hope you won’t let me go like this.’

I deeply coveted those blue eyes that seemed to live in a world opposite to mine.

Ian was both my benefactor who pulled me out of the deep forest at the beginning of this life, and my savior who mistook an ill fate for destiny and held onto me.

‘I already need you.’

Just as I was resolving to stay by Ian’s side in this life, suddenly ‘he’ came to mind.

‘Did he feel the same way?’

Did he also believe I was his only one?

Did he think only I would understand him?

Enough to drag me into an endless abyss disguised as love…

Strangely, I understood ‘him’ through my relationship with Ian.

“We’ve arrived.”

Ian gestured with a voice lower than usual.

The carriage that had been full of silence had somehow arrived at the entrance of the forest owned by the Viente duchy.

Lively sounds penetrated through the opened door.

Having dressed lightly due to the increasingly summer-like weather, I shivered slightly at the unrestrained wind and muttered.

“It’s a bit… cold.”

“Yes. It would be terrible if you caught a cold.”

Ian wanted to wrap something around my bare neck.

I smiled bitterly to myself, remembering the day we first met.

“Shall we hurry? The wind is still cold.”

Ian, uncharacteristically flustered at not having any outerwear to offer, gently brushed around my neck as if he would have adjusted a collar if there had been one.

In this leisurely time under the spring sunlight, the ticklish wind and exciting fragrance that I breathed in with a slightly trembling heart equally tickled my nose.

Taking courage from this lovely day, I grabbed his lapel.

“Ian!”

At my urgent tone, Ian gestured to Hubert, who was approaching to check on us, to step back.

“I… want to talk with you for a moment.”

Though he bitterly contemplated my words, he closed the carriage door.

The carriage interior became our private space. Clouds swallowed the sun as if to hide this place.

Ian’s face in the momentary darkness was enchanting.

His eyes looked lonely as if prepared to accept whatever I might say, while also revealing his torment at knowing he couldn’t easily give up.

Really… isn’t he just irresistible?

He was like an untouched snow-covered plain.

And I’m the type who enjoys rolling in that pure white place and turning it into a mess of mud.

After admiring him for a moment, I spoke with the most loving smile, my eyes curved.