Even Death Was Taken Away by That Obsession - Chapter 34
I swear, I never doubted Ian for a single moment.
I didn’t even want to imagine that Ian might be ‘him’.
It’s not that I didn’t know Ian was always watching over me.
He’s excessively kind, like warm spring sunlight.
Isn’t he a lovely man who tries his best to give his heart completely to me?
But why…
“If you do, I might want to lock you up.”
Why did he say such words?
Even as I was wounded repeatedly by Ian’s words thrown like a knife, I kept turning them over in my mind.
Alone in the carriage, I closed my eyes while clutching my already ruined dress with a lonely heart.
My body trembled as if trapped in ice.
Afraid that if Ian’s heart wavered, I would have nowhere to return to.
It was because of that profound fear that I could never overcome no matter how many times I tried.
***
The hunting festival’s closing ceremony was supposed to be at sunset.
But even after the sun had completely disappeared, neither Ian nor Feiden had returned to the mansion.
As I endlessly gazed out the window while nibbling my nails, I spotted a carriage.
After gradually slowing down, Hubert was the first to step out through the suddenly opened door.
‘Quite late.’
I lowered my hand that had been biting my nails, imagining Ian who would soon appear from the carriage, and tilted my head with wide eyes.
I had naturally expected Ian to follow Hubert out, but unexpectedly, it was Feiden who returned in the carriage with him.
‘Is Ian not returning because of the hunting festival?’
Because he has many duties as the Grand Duke’s heir? Come to think of it, I think I heard there was an evening banquet too.
I turned away weakly with disappointment.
I had thought Ian would hurry back home, more concerned about what happened with me earlier today.
I put on a robe to cover my nightwear with a sigh.
I also neatly tied up my silver hair that had been carelessly let down.
Since Ian would be late too, I wanted to find Feiden and share my current confusion.
Just as I was about to leave the room after roughly putting on my robe, Bonnie knocked on the door.
“My lady.”
I secretly sighed at Bonnie who had chosen quite a bad timing. Then I gently gave permission.
“Come in.”
In Bonnie’s hands was the sleep fragrance she often prepared for me.
If it had been Dantea who visited my room now, she would have irritated me with questions like ‘Are you alright, my lady? How are you feeling?’ but Bonnie was different.
Whether she had heard the general story from the chatty Dantea, she didn’t ask anything in particular.
Appreciating her tactful silence, I gently rose.
“I’m going for a short walk in the garden.”
“Ah, my lady. Just a moment.”
Bonnie hurriedly ran to me as I was quietly moving towards the door with some urgency.
“I heard you were quite hurt today.”
Bonnie, hunching her shoulders as if trying to hide her tall stature, carefully watched my reaction.
“So there was a request for you to stay in your room if possible…”
“What?”
I asked sharply without realizing it.
Asking to keep me in my room – in this mansion, only Ian or Feiden could say such things.
So now there’s only one thing I need to confirm. Who dares to try to confine me to this room?
“Who?”
Bonnie, thoroughly tensed by my eerily flashing eyes, barely stammered out.
“Th-the butler urgently relayed earlier…”
“I mean, under whose orders?”
“…Young Master’s.”
Bonnie, referring to Ian, finally squeezed her eyes shut.
Having heard everything from Dantea, she seemed deeply worried about deepening our emotional rift because of her.
“I see, so that’s it.”
“My lady?”
“But I must go out.”
“My lady!”
I deliberately ignored those words and left the room.
Poor Bonnie hurriedly followed behind.
Though the late spring night had settled darkly, it wasn’t that late, yet the Grand Duke’s mansion’s corridors felt somehow desolate.
Our quick footsteps echoed sharply all around.
Shortly after, Bonnie urgently blocked my path, spreading her arms wide.
“My lady, you can’t!”
“Would you move aside? I’ll just get some fresh air and return.”
“Please. Please return to your room.”
I gently crossed my arms and tapped my fingers.
At this movement that somehow made people anxious, Bonnie’s voice rose higher.
“It was Young Master’s orders. Don’t let anyone visit her, just let her rest comfortably in her room!”
Ah, I had forgotten for a moment.
How deeply loyal this child is to the Grand Duke’s mansion.
Bonnie Enid, isn’t this the maid who stabbed my chest thinking I would harm the Grand Duke’s mansion?
Admirably gathering courage she didn’t have.
‘Yet I thought I had treated her kindly enough to become my person.’
In the end, she wouldn’t give me even a shred of loyalty.
I smiled coldly, feeling somewhat bitter.
“Move aside.”
“No, my lady.”
“Now.”
“My lady, please calm down and return to your room…”
Bonnie finally reached out her arms toward me.
At that moment, irritated by her attempt to restrain me, I shook off her hands.
No, I pushed her.
“Ahhh!”
With a sharp scream, Bonnie’s body tumbled far away.
Bonnie was quite tall for a girl, considerably taller than me who wasn’t short.
That means she shouldn’t have been easily pushed by my strength.
I, who had only wanted to continue on my way past Bonnie, startled and stopped at the sharp shattering sound while turning toward where she had been thrown.
It was the sound of the vase that had been precariously wobbling after Bonnie hit it breaking miserably.
Seeing the vase shattered to pieces and Bonnie desperately holding back tears, my head throbbed painfully.
‘Ah, I wasn’t someone who acted so rashly.’
I think I wasn’t meant to be…
Sure enough, Bonnie’s white shin started showing round beads of blood from a long scratch.
I closed the distance with Bonnie. As I got closer, my golden eyes reflected in the gathering drops of blood.
Eyes that changed colors wildly, repeatedly turning red and then bright.
I bit my lip and willingly lowered myself.
This power… I really hate it.
“Sorry… I’m sorry, Bonnie.”
Lifting the silently crying Bonnie’s face gently, I murmured with truly sad eyes despite not feeling sorry at all.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Really, I had no intention of involving any of you…
I took a deep breath, disappointed in myself for still being so immature despite living such a long time.
“I just wanted to talk with Feiden.”
Though it would be a memory to erase anyway, I still stroked Bonnie’s head very tenderly.
Then I dyed my eyes with a harsh color.
“When you came to my room, I was already gone. Understand?”
“Yes…”
Bonnie’s unfocused response was a typical characteristic of those caught in this power.
‘I’m sorry, Bonnie.’
This is already the second time for you.
It was a power I didn’t want to use in this life.
As I rose slightly, I leaned toward Bonnie again and whispered.
“A cat caused trouble and scratched you. Go straight to Dantea for treatment.”
“Yes.”
I brushed my finger across Bonnie’s blood which had bloomed like a flower and added.
“If anyone happened to see us, or if my appearance seemed strange… tell them it was because you were startled by the cat.”
“Yes.”
“And if, perhaps, they seem not to believe it, would you secretly tell me their names? I’ll talk to them directly.”
“I will certainly do so.”
Satisfied with her plain answer, I held Bonnie’s hand tenderly and stood up.
“Now go on. It might leave a scar.”
“Yes, my lady.”
At my gentle instruction, Bonnie nodded blankly.
As if unable to feel pain, she bowed neatly as always and walked away, unaware of the blood trickling down her leg.
‘Ian, you’re not him, are you?’
You can’t be.
You mustn’t be ‘him’.
I clutched my robe hem tightly though it wasn’t dragging on the ground, and ran.
My heart was already running faster than my feet, and I felt I might go mad if I didn’t speed up with all my might.
