Even If You Tear Me Apart - Chapter 59
The chapters are split like this so that the TL can update more consistently over time (✿ ＞◡❛)
Étienne had always been unable to bear his jealousy of Ezekiel.
Their father, who openly said he wished Ezekiel had been born first. The admiring gazes people cast toward his younger brother.
And above all, that brother who was so diligent and exceptional no one could surpass him.
He truly loved and cherished his younger brother, but it was incredibly difficult not to resent someone who had been born so different from himself.
Étienne had long since realized that Ezekiel had feelings for Iris.
At first, when he found out, he scoffed in disbelief. Two imperial brothers in love with the same woman? What kind of cheap play was this?
Especially when the girl in question came from such a low-ranking family.
And yet, at the same time, the fact that that Ezekiel had fallen for this girl made it feel unexpectedly significant.
If Ezekiel hadn’t liked Iris, then even if Étienne had imagined her wet body in his mind, he could have dismissed it as nothing more than the reckless passion of youth.
But he couldn’t.
Because Étienne knew that Ezekiel lay awake at night because of her.
He knew that the reason Ezekiel threw himself into mundane tasks suited for a common carpenter was because of her.
So Étienne’s kiss—was, in a way—an attempt to steal Iris Quilluxia.
And he had chosen the basest, most contemptible method possible to do it.
Of course, the arrival of Ezekiel and Felicia at that moment had been unexpected.
But in another sense, it was also unexpected to see something else. Étienne had never before seen Ezekiel so shaken.
When Ezekiel asked whether Iris had been drawn to Étienne as well, he looked miserable. Pained.
Loss.
Yes. That was the right word for it.
Ezekiel was experiencing the first true loss of his life.
And Étienne found that… quite satisfying.
“I don’t know that myself.”
“……”
Ezekiel’s eyes widened. Étienne shrugged.
“You two showed up right as I was about to get an answer.”
Unfortunately, at that time, Ezekiel wasn’t seasoned enough to grasp what was truly in Étienne’s heart.
But like Étienne, he was sensitive. And so, at the very least, he understood one thing.
Étienne had done it on purpose.
For whose benefit? Unless one asked Étienne directly, it was impossible to say.
But in that moment, what came to Ezekiel’s mind were the words of Palsgrave Robert.
“But it was something you cherished.”
Ezekiel’s cherished dog. The vase he loved. A wounded Geneviève…
And… Iris Quilluxia.
Normally, Ezekiel would never have pressed Étienne further at that point.
He had been raised with the understanding that letting a brief impulse cause a rift between brothers was foolish.
Besides, Étienne was the future crown prince.
But Ezekiel couldn’t hold it in that time. Maybe it was because everything that had built up over the years finally pushed him over the edge.
And so, with no solid proof—only a heart full of conviction—he spoke the words aloud.
“…Did you do it because of me?”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”
Étienne denied it too quickly. That, too, was because he was still immature.
When he realized his mistake, his face belatedly shifted. And upon seeing that, Ezekiel was sure.
“…It was because of me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I told you—I was drawn to Lady Iris. How does that involve you?”
Étienne tried to play dumb and shrugged again.
But Ezekiel knew the pattern well. It was his shameless older brother’s way of deflecting.
When he had poured cold water on the dog Ezekiel loved, when he had broken his favorite vase… he had always done the same.
But every time Étienne acted so childishly, it was always because of Ezekiel.
The problem was, Ezekiel never knew how to respond to that behavior.
The reason he hadn’t called Étienne out, even after Palsgrave Robert’s words, wasn’t because Ezekiel was mature and wise, as the count had believed.
It was because Ezekiel didn’t know how to handle such petty jealousy and twisted childishness.
And even now—what could he possibly say to a man who had kissed Iris because of him?
“…I doubt the sincerity of your feelings, Brother.”
