Garden of May - Chapter 18
Chapter 18
The woman’s pale face contorted again with anxiety. Her lips trembled, as if she were about to burst into tears, then settled back into a deceptively calm line. Perhaps she simply had no more room for other thoughts.
“River… don’t you remember me?”
Theodore looked up at the impossibly blue May sky, then down at Vanessa, her hands clasped tightly together and trembling slightly.
It seemed there was a reason, however misguided, behind this insane proposition. Some sort of promise, perhaps. Should he tell her right here and now that he wasn’t who she thought he was?
‘No need.’
She would just run to the real River Ross and repeat the same proposal. And naive River Ross wouldn’t be able to refuse properly and would get swept away. The consequences of a scandal with a fallen noblewoman for a promising naval officer, a commoner with no family to back him up, were obvious.
Theodore, as always, came to a swift, pragmatic conclusion and faced Vanessa. For his subordinate’s sake, it was best to settle this at a reasonable point. His lips twisted into a wry smile.
“You’re selling yourself short. I’m too expensive for your meager allowance. And I’m not desperate enough to bed a woman I don’t care about.”
Vanessa now stood with her head bowed submissively. He couldn’t fathom what calculations were running through that small head of hers. He didn’t particularly want to know anymore. It was bound to be something utterly insane. He was about to walk past her when a small hand caught his sleeve.
“Then I’ll love you.”
Love. He was sick of that trite, tiresome word. He let out a sharp sigh. In his downcast gaze, Vanessa’s pale face came into view. At that moment, Theodore couldn’t help but let out a hollow laugh.
Vanessa Cyrene Somerset was probably the only woman in the world who could say the word “love” with such an expression. A face that looked as though she were accepting death, eyes like a warrior entering a duel.
She said, “I just… if I absolutely must marry, I want my husband to be someone who doesn’t… place any importance on… this. And to achieve that, I want to get rid of this.”
‘This.’
As if her v*rginity were some inconvenient object to be disposed of. Theodore’s lips twisted.
“So you’re willing to offer your v*rginity to a man you don’t even love.”
“Men enjoy… intimacy, even without love. You probably would too. So I thought, why shouldn’t I?”
With a perfectly docile expression, she uttered shockingly rebellious words. Her perspective, which viewed men as little more than rutting dogs, was astounding, but also quite practical.
Because they existed. Those kinds of madmen. The kind who squandered their precious lives on women, alcohol, and gambling.
Unpleasant memories drifted like dust over the wholesome countryside scenery. Theodore unconsciously tugged at the collar of his shirt, which suddenly felt too tight. His breathing grew slightly labored because Vanessa’s gaze, fixed on him, seemed too innocent.
How innocent could a woman be who was offering to buy a man? Theodore laughed, a nervous, irritated sound.
“You thought I was that kind of man? And you were willing to waste yourself on me?”
“You’re handsome… and you’re a naval officer.”
“And?”
“Physically coercing a serviceman because of personal feelings is a serious crime. And naval officers are often deployed overseas for years at a time.”
It was a strangely shrewd conclusion. She had even calculated that his position would protect her from her uncle, even if things went wrong.
“All the servants in the castle have ties to the South. But you’re a complete outsider, so I thought even if a scandal erupted, you wouldn’t suffer much. You’re not a nobleman, so you have no reputation to lose.”
“What if I were a gentleman who valued honor? You wouldn’t have made this proposition then?”
“If the man who… compromised me were a nobleman, someone with wealth to extort, my uncle would find a way to force me onto him.”
“….”
“So, let’s be… temporary lovers, just for the duration of your leave. Like when we used to play house as children, only… getting to know each other a little better.”
“Lovers.”
“It’s summer. It will all be over in a season.”
Vanessa’s cheeks were now flushed with the color of summer peaches. Fresh and vibrant, as if sweet juice would flow if he bit into them.
