Guidelines for the Perfect Goodbye - Chapter 232
Logan closed his eyes in the carriage as it rattled along the road. Today, he felt like a complete fool. He was fully aware of it—there was no other word for it.
When he first received the invitation from the Heens family, he had hesitated. The invitation clearly had ulterior motives.
But he hadn’t declined it.
Later, at the party, when his eyes met Cecilia’s across the masks, he hesitated again. He could have walked straight to her and spoken.
But instead, he deliberately averted his gaze.
Finally, when Nigel and Cecilia were engaging in their ridiculous antics, that was the perfect moment to confront her decisively.
‘No matter what you do, I won’t let the engagement end.’
…Yet he had granted her wish.
He could have grabbed Nigel and thrown a punch, as Ulysses had done. He could have dragged Cecilia away to who-knows-where, ignoring her opinions entirely. He could have done anything.
To be honest, he wasn’t afraid of any of it. Though indifferent to power, he wasn’t ignorant of how to seize and wield it.
Yet, the only thing he could do was cling to one small corner of her many desires, like a leaf hanging on.
“Have I gone mad…”
He placed the back of his hand against his forehead and let out a long sigh. None of this felt like himself.
Lately—or rather, ever since meeting her—he had felt strange. At first, he thought it might simply be attraction, but even he could tell it had grown far more serious. Like some infatuated boy falling in love for the first time.
Was he the type to fall easily at first sight? No. If he were, he would have pursued romantic relationships long ago. It wasn’t as though women hadn’t approached him.
Was he soft when it came to women? Absolutely not. He didn’t disregard women, but that didn’t mean he went easy on them.
During his naval voyages, he had encountered all kinds of groups, including women as strong as men. If he had treated them lightly just because they were women, his head would have long since ended up hanging from a banana tree like a cluster of fruit.
Cecilia was the only woman who had ever made him feel pathetic.
That realization solidified just moments ago. He had gone to see her, fully intending to lay out his feelings in words.
I have no intention of ending our engagement.
But I also won’t tolerate your insolence.
You’re not so remarkable that you can act this way, are you?
So make your choice. Either deal with the consequences of your actions after we’re married, or come back with me now and face them.
…Up until the moment he saw her, he’d even considered forcibly taking her back to his home.
But as he opened his mouth to remind her of the harsh realities—to utter these words—his lips shut tight.
A vivid, lightning-like flash of an image struck him—a wedding.
Someone spoke.
“Cecilia, I despise you.”
It was him who uttered those words, and the other person’s gaze was sunken and heavy, as if they couldn’t endure any greater wound.
His chest tightened. Overwhelmed by a weighty guilt, he took a deep drag on the cigarette he had been restraining himself from. Yet the suffocating feeling didn’t subside, and his thoughts remained chaotic.
Surely, it was nothing more than a figment of his imagination.
But the fleeting emotion had already tangled with reality, wandering aimlessly without direction. He saw his anger dissipate like a cloud of smoke.
He had no right to be angry with her.
Nor did he have the authority to oppress her.
If anyone couldn’t claim that right, it was him.
As long as he remembered her as she had been in that moment…
“Remember?”
He shook his head.
We’ve never even been married.
“What kind of nonsense is this…?”
He chuckled bitterly to himself. But his faint smile quickly hardened again, and the unease in his chest refused to fade.
T/N: He’s starting to remember?? Hello???
This is such a slow burn but I’m still on the edge of my seat aaaaaaaaahh
And I honestly still want to see how things develop between Cecilia and Ulysses, and Cecilia and Nigel ohoho
I wonder if they’ll also start to remember?
Gnfjfjfj
I want to strangle my past self who reads spoilers.