I Give Up on the BL Novel's Male Leads - Chapter 2
Someone once said that the darkest hour is just before dawn. I’ve lived holding onto that thought.
That before the break of dawn is the darkest and most challenging time, but eventually, it passes, and after it does, there will be times as brilliant as the sunlight.
Indeed, hardships are meant to pass.
But my hardships began the moment I came into this world, and it hadn’t ended yet.
I only recently realized that I had possessed someone’s body.
Until then, I believed I had merely reincarnated with memories of the past, considering myself an utterly ordinary person otherwise.
I thought life was too short to not live it positively.
That was my belief until I realized where I had possessed.
I was in the world of a book.
The title of the book was [Even if You Cry, Beg, Plead.]
As you can guess from the title, it was an extraordinarily explicit 19+ book.
The reason I ended up reading that book was because of the warning tags.
Humans naturally want to do more of what they’re told not to, just like trying not to think of an elephant only makes it stick in your mind more.
So, I read it. My curiosity was piqued by the numerous warnings.
They say curiosity killed the cat.
In the end, I was the one who ‘died’, but even now, I still think I would have looked when told not to.
The story of the book went something like this:
The male lead, Edwin Ensest, was a prince.
Originally a crown prince, he was stripped of his title and transferred to an academy under the guise of re-education.
There, he harbors an unrequited love for the pretty bottom named Illein Thierry.
Illein was so cold and aloof that he did nothing but harshly reject Edwin, the male lead.
Ignoring him when spoken to, frowning upon eye contact, and always avoiding him if they happened to meet.
At one point, Edwin could no longer bear it and confessed, but alas.
“I hate people like you the most.”
“Illein, I…”
“Don’t ever speak to me again. It’s dreadful enough just being in the same space as you.”
And so, the bouquet Edwin offered with his confession was cruelly trampled under Illein’s indifferent feet.
If only that were the end. Mercilessly, the book did not end there.
If it had ended then, it would have merely been an unrequited love story from school days.
But Edwin, the crazed male lead, didn’t stop confessing to Illein after that day.
To call it persistence would be an understatement; it was sincere, yet pitifully so.
Still, Illein coldly rejected every advance, not sparing him a single shred of affection.
What’s more infuriating is that Illein ends up taking his own life due to his extreme dislike for Edwin.
Of course, Edwin did many things befitting his crazed status along the way.
He confined Illein, broke his ankle, and did….. 19+ acts frequently.
Eventually, after Illein’s death, Edwin goes mad and destroys the empire.
And it doesn’t stop at just the empire; the story ends with the destruction of the universe.
“Ha.”
Certainly, the Illein I read about in the book was male.
A beautiful fox-like man, two tear spots under his left eye, silver hair, and icy blue eyes resembling glaciers.
He was cold and rational at first glance.
But…
“This isn’t right.”
Nowhere did it say he was actually a woman.
The original Illein, despite his feminine name, was definitely male.
He swam with other male students at the academy, got caught in the rain together, and even changed clothes together.
But that secret…
“Haa…”
No one would have guessed it was because of a ring.
The reflection in the mirror wasn’t unfamiliar: dazzling silver hair, sky-blue eyes, two tear spots, and a cold-looking face.
But when the ring is removed…
“…”
The hair grows down to the hips, and the Adam’s apple disappears.
When the ring is put back on…
“…”
The hair shortens, and the Adam’s apple reappears. The chest flattens perfectly, and the hips narrow.
Who would have known?
That the original Illein was actually born a woman but was raised as a man to continue the family lineage.
Illein Thierry’s family was on the brink of ruin.
Whether it was fortunate or not, no male heir was born to continue the lineage, but instead, a daughter was born. With a rare water ability.
Despite the flawless reflection in the mirror, the academy uniform I wore was quite worn and shabby.
Still, having clothes to wear was something.
In my previous life, I had lived even more tragically.
Though physically weak, I was intellectually gifted enough to enter a respectable university.
After graduation, I worked overtime excessively to pay off my student loans. Just when I had paid off my debts and was about to enjoy my life freely…
I died from overwork.
Indeed, living on roughly twenty hours of sleep per week for five years was a recipe for death.
It was even more unfair because I died after repaying all my debts.
Yet, the burnout led to a sense of emptiness and absurdity, which, in turn, made me adapt more easily to this life.
I had been desperate, thinking that once I paid off all my debts, I could finally live properly.
