I Never Wanted His Child - Chapter 163
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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The Count had been placed in the position of the head of the council simply because he was a supporter of the King. As such, he had no choice but to follow the words of Adrian and Lady Luther.
However, he feared the presence of Duke Heinrich far more than them.
“I-I will explain with them. But please promise me one thing.”
“Promise?”
Mikhail scoffed. The man lacked the courage to bear the consequences of following their orders, and he didn’t even have the courage to refuse them and risk falling out of favor.
What a cowardly, insignificant man he was.
“Please make sure to send a letter to Lady Luther first and set the appointment.”
Though the man’s insistence annoyed him, Mikhail knew he had to go to the Duke’s estate immediately.
“I will send the letter tomorrow.”
“Thank you!”
Count Hauffen bowed in relief. Mikhail glanced down at the back of his bowed head before turning and leaving the castle.
❖ ❖ ❖
Emilia arrived at the estate and surveyed her surroundings.
‘Thank goodness. It seems like he hasn’t returned yet.’
Kartho quickly came out to meet her. His attention seemed to shift to her expression, as though he knew the truth.
Emilia forced a smile.
“The Duke hasn’t returned yet.”
“Thank goodness. I’ve been out for a while, so I’m quite tired. I think I’ll go to my room and rest.”
“But isn’t that a rose from the Loren estate?”
Kartho’s gaze landed on the rose in Boestin’s hand.
“Yes, I gave it to Miss Boestin as a gift.”
“Mm, it’s beautiful, isn’t it? It looks like you want one, so I’ll give you a flower.”
Boestin plucked a single rose and placed it behind Kartho’s ear.
“It suits you! It must be because it’s a Loren rose, it gives you such a lively appearance.”
With the rose in his long brown hair, Kartho looked even more charming. The flower was held firmly in place thanks to his glasses.
“You look like a distinguished middle-aged man now. Since it’s my gift, go ahead and put it in a vase.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“Are you refusing my gift? Hurry and put it in the vase, or else the precious rose will wilt!”
Boestin gently pushed Kartho’s back, and he had no choice but to leave the lobby.
“Go rest in your room. He might arrive soon.”
“…Thank you.”
Boestin smiled brightly before heading upstairs to the third floor. Emilia also moved towards the second floor.
She needed time to collect her thoughts before he arrived.
“Dell, I need some time alone to think. Could you give me a little space? If I need anything, I’ll call for you.”
Del prepared her nightgown and robe, then left.
Emilia washed up and changed. Some of the roses Boestin had given Dell were floating in the bathtub, petals drifting on the water.
The familiar scent relaxed her stiff body, as if releasing the tension she had been holding.
‘What should I do now?’
Emilia still couldn’t decide what kind of face to show him.
The words he had said to her kept coming back, and they tormented her.
He must have approached her knowing everything from the beginning. Was he happy then?
Emilia had always believed her beliefs were right throughout her life.
But now, with everything crumbling, she felt as if even her own existence was being denied.
‘It would have been better to die by his hand that time.’
She should have died by his hand, no matter what. If she had, she wouldn’t be in this much pain.
Emilia finally broke down and let the tears she had been holding back fall.
Her parents had inflicted an indelible wound on him. She now fully understood why Dahlia had tried to kill her and showed such murderous intent.
If she had been in their shoes, she realized, she wouldn’t have acted any differently.
The courage to face him, the anger she had used as a foundation to keep living—all of it disappeared in an instant.
Like sand washed away by a single wave, the hatred she had felt toward him vanished, as if it had never existed.
All that remained was nothing but guilt.
Her father’s insistence that she bear his child was likely to ensure that he wouldn’t be able to abandon her.
He never once considered that this choice would become a hell for her.
If Emilia were to bear his child, she would survive, just as her father had said.
But she would have to stay by his side, living with guilt for the rest of her life.
She would have to endure the cold gaze and the fury directed at her, and perhaps she would spend her life like that.
But would that make his hatred disappear? Would everything that happened vanish?
No, it wouldn’t. Every time he looked at her, he would be reminded of that day.
Just as Emilia would remember the day the betrayal happened when she looked at him.
Having a child wouldn’t make the hatred disappear. Instead, that hatred and anger would fester and destroy him, since it would never be expressed.
He would have to live on, unable to kill her even though she was right there.
Perhaps he wanted her to live like that, in pain.
That’s why he wouldn’t hesitate to have her bear a child.
He would have thought that having a child was the only way to keep her from escaping.
Fortunately, she had been taking contraceptive pills. This terrible connection between him and her had to end with their generation.
That was the right thing to do.
Emilia wiped her tears away.
Crying wouldn’t change anything. Instead of wasting time like this, she had to think about what to do next.
Now that she knows everything, should she ask for his forgiveness?
Of course, doing so wouldn’t bring his dead parents or loved ones back.
