I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 115
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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Johann, perhaps trying to avoid the conversation, placed the ointment down and faced me directly. He sighed again, indicating that he didn’t want to have this conversation with me, and lowered his voice to confess so that no one else could overhear.
“The discharge papers are fake.”
The moment I heard this confirmed by Johann, the shock I had been postponing hit me all at once. My heart raced wildly, pounding against my chest as if it would burst out at any moment.
Falsifying discharge papers to evade military service was a crime that could lead to immediate deployment to the front lines if discovered. It was unlike Johann to engage in such a dangerous act.
“So, you never actually went to the military?”
Was it true that the rumors among soldiers, suggesting he might have bought fake discharge papers to avoid conscription, were correct?
“Am I still a soldier then?”
But hearing him mutter this and get lost in thought showed that this was also incorrect.
“Then that means…”
After a moment, Johann bitterly confirmed the truth for me.
“A soldier who couldn’t return due to unavoidable circumstances?”
“A deserter…?”
“I didn’t choose to desert, you know.”
Johann stared at me who was frozen in shock. Why was he looking at me like that, as if I were pitiful? He offered a cryptic smile, gently kissing my forehead before hesitating.
“Rize, why are you trembling?”
He couldn’t possibly not know the reason, yet he reached to feel my forehead.
“It’s cold…”
Knowing it wasn’t just the fever from the flu, he looked at me with a blank expression.
“That’s why I said you shouldn’t ask anything and just follow my lead. You’ll do that from now on, right?”
Terrified, I nodded, not fully understanding what I was agreeing to. He pulled me into his arms.
“It’s a good thing I won’t die from the flu. Isn’t that right? Just focus on that. Don’t think about anything else.”
Johann tried to calm me down with words and soothe my trembling body, but when nothing worked, he sighed.
“Don’t worry about it. That’s my burden to bear.”
How could I not worry?
“Forget what I said.”
How could I possibly forget?
* * *
Following the government’s orders, the village chiefs recorded every day the names of those who had contracted the flu and those who had recovered.
It wasn’t just to prevent infected individuals from entering the bunker, which I learned only after recovering. It became clear when they began to mobilize residents like me, who had developed immunity, as caregivers in the bunker.
The bunker was also struggling with the epidemic. Living in close quarters likely made the spread of virus easier.
As soon as I got off the truck with the other women who had been mobilized, I sighed behind my mask at the changed scenery. It seemed they couldn’t accommodate all the patients in the camouflage farm buildings above ground, so they had even set up a large tent in the yard.
‘So many patients…’
I reassured myself despite being overwhelmed.
‘I can do this. Even if I don’t remember, I used to be a nurse caring for patients.’
However, that determination proved useless. I was assigned only one patient: Major Felkner.
It seemed the higher-ups with personal rooms were enjoying the luxury of isolation inside the bunker, as I was once again called to the Major’s bedroom.
“With the outbreak spreading, the door must remain closed.”
Had the soldier who usually accompanied me fallen ill with the flu? The soldier who brought me today, although a stranger, knew that the door was always left open when I entered the Major’s room.
But today it had to be closed.
As I stepped into the Major’s room, I hoped nothing serious was happening outside. The door closed behind me, and the Major turned his gaze toward me from where he lay alone on the bed, propped up by his arm.
Thankfully, he looked far from being in a condition to act inappropriately when he saw me. He was clearly in bad shape, as he immediately started rambling nonsense.
“Rize Eineman, I’m surprised to see you still here.”
How could he say that after summoning me? Has his brain been eaten away by the virus? Though he had once been a healthy and sharp individual who abused his body and mind with daily drinking, smoking, and debauchery, it seemed even he couldn’t withstand the virus.
“Cough, cough…”
As soon as he finished that rambling, he erupted into a fit of coughing. I never expected to feel sympathy for him, but seeing him like that made him seem a little pitiable.
Compassion is a fundamental virtue of nursing. It’s only natural to feel sorry for any patient, regardless of who they are. And although I disliked the Major, I didn’t harbor any malice towards him to the point of wishing him dead.
“Drink this.”
I poured tea into an empty cup and went outside to fetch menthol ointment from the infirmary, then offered it to him.
“If you apply this to your chest, it should help with the coughing.”
The Major’s gaze, which alternated between the ointment and my face, initially seemed ordinary. But it quickly shifted to reveal his base desires. Even in his state of illness, he flashed a lewd smile, unbuttoned his shirt, and pulled open the fabric to show that he wanted me to apply the ointment to his chest.
I didn’t want him to die, but I really didn’t want to do that.
“What are you doing?”
As I glared at him, he urged me to hurry up.
“…What are you waiting for?”
