I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 117
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“Didn’t Johann Renner say he wanted to leave this place?”
He did. Back then, I thought the Major was stirring things up and that leaving was a necessity. I never dreamed there was a life-threatening reason behind Johann’s desire to leave.
‘If only he had told me earlier, I would have followed him without stubbornly resisting when he first suggested leaving.’
Regret was too late now. Due to government control, we couldn’t leave anymore, and if we tried to sneak away, we would become criminals for violating the curfew, making us targets for the military. Perhaps that’s why Johann hadn’t mentioned leaving again.
“No, he hasn’t said anything like that.”
I knew I shouldn’t engage in pointless conversations with the Major, but if I didn’t respond, it would only raise more suspicion, so I had no choice.
“What if the Falklanders rain bombs down on us? People from here are abandoning their homes and land, and yet Johann Renner doesn’t want to leave? That’s odd.”
Yes, I knew he would start to doubt like this, but I had plenty of excuses to deflect.
“Even if I wanted to leave, I can’t. What’s the point in suggesting it when I can’t go?”
“You could sneak out into the woods.”
“That would just get us hunted by the military. Plus, Johann is a man who respects the law like it’s divine.”
In order to protect a liar, I was becoming a liar myself. The Major must have been laughing at Johann, but it felt like he was laughing at me too.
“Ha ha, that guy, the law…cough cough…”
The Major, who had been laughing loudly, soon started coughing instead. He seemed to have more energy than an ill person should.
Johann also didn’t appear sick, but he had those moments when he couldn’t stop coughing. It was heartbreaking to see him try to stifle the sound, covering his mouth to keep it from escaping, as if it was a secret that others must not know.
Every time that happened, I did everything I could to help him. I applied menthol ointment to help him breathe easier, rubbed his back, made him tea, boiled water for him to steam, and offered menthol candies…
Though Johann had never been sick before, I had often fallen ill. Because of that, I was thrilled to finally be able to care for him this time. Even if it made me feel like a devil to be pleased about my beloved suffering, I couldn’t help it.
“Ugh, damn it, cough…”
But feeling glad that a man I disliked was suffering was different. It just felt pitiful.
“You’ll feel better if you drink the tea.”
I gestured toward the tea I had placed on the side table. When the Major reached for the teacup but dropped it, spilling tea all over the floor due to another coughing fit, I didn’t bother to get up.
Even that man must need help sometimes. In situations like this, he should have garnered goodwill from others in advance.
Though I dislike him, I don’t want him to die. The Major suspects Johann is a deserter, and if he dies, it would certainly make things easier, but I don’t want to become that malicious of a person.
I was about to pour some tea but decided against it and stood up to check on the Major, who was lying there in agony. As I approached the side table to set the overturned teacup upright and reached for the teapot, something unexpected happened.
“Ugh…”
The Major suddenly grabbed my left wrist. In that instant, I did something shocking: I whipped my right hand up and swung it toward his cheek, as if it was a reflex.
“Ah…”
I managed to stop my hand just before actually hitting his cheek, which was a stroke of luck. I couldn’t believe what I had just done, and the Major looked up at me, astonished, before letting out a chuckle.
“Ha, you want to slap me? Go ahead, give it a try.”
He turned his cheek toward my right hand, but I lowered my hand instead of striking him. However, in my memories…
Slap!
The sound rang loudly in the barracks as I had struck a soldier’s cheek hard enough to leave my hand tingling. He was much larger than I was, and the soldier I had slapped wasn’t even in uniform. Despite that, I thought of him as a soldier.
That place in my memory was a field hospital.
‘…Was I a war nurse? So, I must have been conscripted as well?’
I had gained another fragment of my past, but as always, this only led to greater questions. I was left with only torn pieces instead of a complete picture.
The next thing I remembered was a truly bizarre scene: I was kicking the soldier lying on the floor along with other nurses.
‘Oh my God, how could I behave so disgracefully? But how did that hulking guy end up on the floor to be beaten by women?’
I had no memories of what had happened in between. Fortunately, the following memory did continue…
‘That person is…’
I was taken aback to see a familiar face. The moment I looked up from where I was crushing a soldier’s wrist like rubbing a cigarette butt under my heel, I locked eyes with a tall, handsome man standing a few paces away, holding a Bible and looking at me in shock.
‘Johann?’
No, at that moment, I didn’t call him Johann.
“Who is that?”
I had asked.
