I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 51
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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I emerged from a locked bedroom where I had been alone with a naked man, claiming nothing but cleaning took place there. Who would believe such a statement?
‘The soldiers who saw me enter that room today will surely think I’ve shared his bed.’
Feeling more than unjustly treated, I was deeply saddened, helpless in my situation.
“I… I’ve never done anything that would disgust God…”
In front of Johann, I tried to hold back, but couldn’t help bursting into tears. Johann quickly hugged me, trying to console me.
“I know, my love. God knows everything too.”
His voice was calm, but from his embrace to his clenched jaw, I could feel him trembling with anger. It was the first time I’d seen Johann this furious.
“Johann…”
In a moment as I was gripping him tightly, fearing he might commit an act unworthy in God’s eyes, Johann made the sign of the cross, offering a prayer at such a time.
“God, please forgive me.”
Why did he ask for forgiveness in advance was a mystery. Ominous thoughts clung to me. Johann’s deep voice then dropped heavily to the bedroom floor.
“Mrs. Becker, was your son in the basement conceived and born by the Holy Spirit?”
At that moment, the fanatic’s struggle ceased abruptly.
Johann’s unexpected action shocked me into stillness. Following his deep sigh, silence enveloped us.
Johann then laid me back on the bed, looking at me tenderly and gently caressing me.
“Mrs. Becker won’t be spreading any vile lies anymore. So, my love, forget all the evil words said.”
“Thank you.”
After a gentle kiss, Johann smiled and said,
“We should finish what we started.”
The bed began to creak again, but this time, no verses from the bible were recited.
I couldn’t say I wasn’t in the mood to make love anymore. However, soon, Johann’s efforts to lighten my mood made me realize there was no need for such words.
“Ah, Johann, this is so good…”
He swiftly rebuilt the tower of pleasure that had been demolished by a vile disruptor just before its completion.
“Ah, ah…”
Thanks to Johann, I managed to enjoy everything tonight, except for one thing I did not forget.
“Hmm…”
Covering my mouth. I didn’t want my cries to spread to the basement where Mrs. Becker’s son was hiding.
* * *
Knock, knock.
“Mrs. Becker?”
The next morning, the landlady came to our house. It was clear from her expression that it was about the events of last night.
“Take this.”
But what Mrs. Becker bluntly handed over was not a notice to vacate the room but a sack of sugar.
“Why this…”
Nowadays, sugar was only obtainable through rationing or the black market. So it has become incredibly precious, especially for bakeries. Why would she give us such a valuable item?
“It’s to keep you quiet. I’ll keep quiet from now on, too.”
In other words, the sack of sugar was the price for her son’s life.
Mrs. Becker’s son was hiding in the basement of this building because he was a deserter.
Despite being in dire need of money and taking us in as tenants, she would watch our every move whenever we went out, fearing we might discover her son in the basement.
All her persistent efforts were in vain as we discovered her secret. But it seemed Mrs. Becker was unaware until Johann spoke up the night before.
“Mrs. Becker, was your son in the basement conceived and born by the Holy Spirit?”
Johann’s words yesterday were not mere teasing or scorn but a threat. It was a threat to report Mrs. Becker’s son to the military if she troubled me.
“God, please forgive me.”
It was a plea for forgiveness for actions unbecoming of a man who strives to live according to God’s will.
‘Do we really have to go this far?’
Looking down at the sack of sugar forcefully placed in my arms by Mrs. Becker, my heart felt unsettled. A situation that could have ended as a common dispute between a mismatched landlord and tenant had escalated into a life-or-death transaction—all because of the war.
I don’t want to get unwillingly entangled with a man other than my husband, but due to the forced mobilization, I cannot resist.
Johann, who wants to live righteously but does things against his beliefs to protect his wife.
And Mrs. Becker, who goes against her own faith to protect her son, whether or not her value of imposing asceticism on others is right.
The war has made it impossible for everyone to live according to their beliefs. Everyone is to be pitied.
“Madam, you didn’t have to give this to us.”
Accepting this sugar would mean taking advantage of precious resources through coercion. I found the idea repulsive and returned the sugar. Johann seemed to agree with me, offering no objection.
“We will make arrangements to leave as soon as possible.”
While sharing breakfast this morning, Johann conveyed our decision to Mrs. Becker. I wonder if she even perceived this statement as a threat.
“No, no. Please don’t.”
Mrs. Becker stopped us. She even offered to reduce the rent, something we hadn’t asked for, likely fearing we would report her son to the military if we left. This made us afraid that leaving might actually escalate the situation.
“We swear to God that we will keep silent. So, we ask you to refrain from making baseless accusations against my wife.”
“I too will swear to God.”