I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 60
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“So, what you’re saying, Major, is that you’re dragging out a war that could end early, causing death and suffering for millions of people, just to see a married woman’s chest. Who is the real traitor here?”
“……”
The major’s once gleeful expression turned cold, and he eventually scowled as he lit a cigarette.
“Idiots sometimes pretend to be smart.”
I continued the cleaning that had been interrupted by the major, and he reverted to his usual behavior whenever I managed to shut him up.
“Will showing it once wear it out? How selfish. Some soldiers get their virginity taken by the prettiest girl in the village as thanks for going to war. You should be grateful you’re still alive because of me.”
He was spewing filth.
“God, please fill the tables of all Hylanders, but let the table of the Renner couple gather dust. This woman isn’t starving enough to bare herself.”
God, why did you put a mouth where this man’s a-us should be?
“Hmm…”
He looked at me with narrowed eyes, his hands gesturing in the air as if measuring the size of my chest.
“It’s a shame if they shrink from hunger… but even if you’re skinny now, those big ones means they’ll stay big even if you starve.”
“……”
“The last time I saw you in the forest, crying under your husband, I caught a glimpse through your clothes.”
Did he see my chest then? I was shocked but tried not to show it. Listening further, I was glad I managed to stay composed.
“I couldn’t see them clearly because your husband’s hands were all over them, gripping them like they were his.”
Tsk. He clicked his tongue in disappointment.
“I was hoping you’d take your clothes off, but you stopped halfway.”
That was a relief.
“I was so looking forward to it. If your b*****s are big, your n*****s must be big too, right?”
He spoke as if he was discussing a cow’s udders.
“Sometimes there are women with big b*****s but n–ples as small as pinky nails. Not much fun to suck on. Hmm, what about you? Do they stick out nicely for sucking? If you’re too embarrassed to say, just hold up a finger to show their size.”
By now, even as the major spewed filthy remarks about my body right to my face, I felt more numb than ashamed.
“Not even a change in your expression. How boring.”
The major’s goal was to provoke a reaction from me. Since I didn’t react today either, he gave up on his own.
“Did you bring Mr. Renner’s writings?”
“No.”
“Why? Did he tell you not to?”
Yes, because your intentions seemed suspicious.
“I looked, but there were no writings by my husband.”
“Then a copy or even a note will do.”
Asking for something that wasn’t even a composition was even more suspicious. What could he want with such a piece?
‘He might be trying to collect samples of his handwriting.’
At that moment, I began to suspect the major might be planning to forge something in Johann’s handwriting.
“There were none. Paper is expensive, you know.”
“There’s some left over in the office, should I give you some?”
Persistent as ever.
“If you do, I’d gladly accept it.”
To avoid raising suspicion that I was deliberately withholding writings, I didn’t refuse.
“Then bring me your husband’s writing.”
“But why are you so intent on recommending my husband as a ghostwriter for the Prime Minister? My husband’s success wouldn’t benefit the Major.”
“Why wouldn’t it? If your husband becomes successful and dumps you for a younger wife, you’d go from being Johann Renner’s private toilet to a public restroom. When the door opens, I’ll get my turn too.”
Lies.
“Alright, I’ll bring it.”
That’s a lie too.
* * *
Every time I get summoned by the major, it feels like my ears lose their purity. I headed to the church today to cleanse my defiled ears with holy water, I spotted something even holier across the street and changed my direction.
“Enjoying wicked deeds more than good ones…”
After a while, I was crouched under Johann’s classroom window, eavesdropping on his sweet voice as it drifted through the cracks.
“God said that those who lie more often than tell the truth….”
Was it a religion class? Listening to his pure and righteous voice made me feel as if all the filth that had tainted my ears was being washed away. I felt a refreshing sense of clarity, and a relaxed sigh escaped me.
‘I should do this more often.’
Visiting him during lunch might look suspicious and cause Johann trouble. But sneaking a quick listen when I wanted to hear his voice seemed harmless. As long as I didn’t get caught.
“…A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.”
It was like listening to a sermon from a priest. I felt sleepy. I unknowingly closed my eyes….
Rustle.
Startled by the sound of footsteps, my eyes shot open.
“Gasp….”
Had I not quickly covered my mouth, both the principal and Johnan might have heard me.
“Mrs. Renner? What are you doing here?”
The principal appeared from around the corner, walking towards me. Fortunately, he kept his voice low, but he had leisurely strolled past Johann’s classroom window. Inside, they could surely see the principal speaking to someone under the window.
