I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 9
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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Is the priest now asking Johann to ghostwrite letters as well? With so many people waiting to entrust him with such tasks, and considering the farm work he also had to do, he could only handle one person’s ghostwriting per day.
I can do it too. If I help, we can accumulate money faster.
“We should always be prepared to return to our hometown.”
“Is our hometown safe now?”
“…We have to go back.”
So, we needed to save and accumulate money. Perhaps Johann was so consumed with thoughts of money day and night that he didn’t have time for other considerations.
But what am I doing, thinking about other things? Am I too naive?
My embarrassed gaze shifted to Johann’s left hand, firmly pressing on the letter. The spot where our wedding ring should be was empty.
“Johann, why don’t you have a wedding ring?”
“Ah… that’s…”
“Did you sell it to pay for my medical expenses?”
“…I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for selling it for my sake.”
I could sell my own ring for him.
“Johann.”
I pulled out the wedding ring still sitting on my left ring finger and handed it to him.
“Sell this too.”
As his eyes fell on the ring, Johann’s expression hardened. Before he could object, I quickly placed the ring on top of the letter and persuaded him.
“A wedding ring should come in pairs to have meaning. Now that this one has lost its meaning, sell it. When our situation improves, we can get a new pair.”
However, he remained adamant.
“You have to keep this. No, don’t ever lose it. In case I lose my life…”
So, does that mean we can never make our wedding rings?
“This ring is the only proof of our marriage.”
But Johann’s reason for saying this was different from mine. While I briefly felt depressed because he mentioned his death, I soon became perplexed.
‘This is the only proof of our marriage? What is he talking about? Our identification card issued by the city hall also states that we are a married couple.’
However, I quickly forgot my doubts. My heart started to flutter. Perhaps because I hadn’t taken the ring off, he took the initiative to put the ring on my finger.
‘Did he put the ring on me like this during our wedding?’
Johann gently supported my hand and slowly, cautiously placed the ring on my ring finger. He was so careful that his hands were trembling visibly.
‘Is this also considered embarrassing?’
After placing the ring on my finger, he let go of my hand and turned his head away to the letter. However, he didn’t pick up the pen again.
It doesn’t seem like he was embarrassed.
Johann’s expression, gazing at the letter he had just written, was dark. It seemed like he was deeply immersed in sorrow.
‘Why is he so sad?’
Looking at those sorrowful eyes, I also felt the urge to be sad. I wanted to comfort Johann, but how could I do it?
The first thing that came to mind was the method the village ladies taught me earlier in the day on how to comfort a man.
‘Oh my God. Dear God…’
I had impious thoughts and even more impiously sought God.
It’s clear that I’m possessed by sinful thoughts. If that’s not the case, I wouldn’t keep having improper thoughts.
‘What should I do? Should I run to the church tomorrow and confess my sinful thoughts?’
However, as soon as the image of me confessing to the priest, saying, ‘I keep feeling lustful thoughts towards my husband,’ crossed my mind, I abandoned that idea.
“Rize?”
“Yes, yes?”
Johann called me suddenly. Startled, I lifted my head, and now, instead of sorrow, his eyes were filled with concern as he gazed at me intently. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes and averted my gaze.
“Why are you like that?”
“Yes? What, what do you mean?”
“Your face is turning red.”
“Oh…”
“As expected, you overexerted yourself today.”
“Oh, that…”
It wasn’t because of that. Honestly explaining why my face turned red is absolutely impossible. So, should I just say I overexerted myself? But if I do that, he’ll probably keep me locked in the attic tomorrow.
“I think you have a fever…”
Johann reaches out to check my temperature.
‘No, I don’t want that. I don’t want to be trapped in the attic all day.’
I tilt my head, avoiding his hand. However, Johann doesn’t give me a chance to escape and firmly grabs my hand. Uncharacteristically, he uses strength when he has always handled me like flower petals that were easily damaged. Perhaps because I have a history of pretending not to feel hurt even when I’m hurt.
“Johann.”
“Stay still.”
I cover my face at once, but still trapped in his hands, I bow my head slightly.
“I don’t have a fever.”
“It’s hot.”
“Your hands are cold, so I feel hot.”
Johann laughed as I desperately made excuses, finding my behavior cute, but still, he didn’t let me go.
“Ah…”
He pressed his forehead against mine. When Johann pulled me closer and lowered his head, I thought he was finally going to kiss me, ao I couldn’t hide my disappointment.
“What excuse are you going to come up with for being hot like this?”
His lips move close to me. Closer. Just a little closer.
I felt him with my cheek a moment ago, but now I want to feel him with my lips.
As I watched, captivated, I found myself exhaling an excited sigh. The moment my breath brushed against his lips, his lips, which were pouring out nagging, suddenly stopped moving.
His lips were about to move away from me.
I reached out my arm, wrapped it around Johann’s neck, and pulled him towards me.
