I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 91
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
read more chapters on luna kofi
“When you want me, it feels like I have the whole world.”
He said this while making love to Dana. But his words to Dana didn’t end there. Just as he asked Dana why she wanted only him, he asked me the same question again.
It was then that I realized something else. For Johann, our relationship was a stage where he reenacted the first time he had with Dana.
“Why me? Please tell me.”
“……”
“Please…”
“…The only man I love is you.”
I recited Dana’s response like an actor reading from a script, staying true to my role as her stand-in. Johann, just like when Dana said those words, was intensely excited and moved his hips frantically against me.
Yes, you still can’t forget that woman. Even now, you probably think of me as her and are shaking your hips and whispering love as if I were her.
“Ahh!”
As any remaining hope I had crumbled, I helplessly experienced an o****m that was not truly mine, enduring the gestures of love my husband showed to another woman.
As soon as I felt every sensation and emotion, I ended up feeling nothing at all.
“Ah…”
Johann, holding me as I lay still, sighed and, as usual after s-x, he kissed my cheek and whispered,
“Rize, thank you.”
“……”
“I love you.”
It was then that I realized something else. Even in these words that are spoken at the end of our s-x, Dana had always been hidden.
The words ‘I love you’ are not attached to a name. The owner of this love must be Dana.
‘Yes. You are grateful to me, but you love Dana.’
Cuddled in Johann’s arms and reflecting on the words heard in bed tonight, I realized belatedly that he hadn’t called my name at all during our affair.
He must have wanted to call Dana, just as he did before, but he held back.
“Rize? Are you alright?”
“It felt so good…”
Once again, it wasn’t about being with Johann. In the end, I only realized that I was just a stand-in for that woman.
“Don’t close your eyes just yet. The night is still young.”
But I couldn’t refuse him this time either.
“Ugh, mmm, ahhh…”
I was, unexpectedly, a talented actress. Once again, heading toward a shameless and miserable climax, Johann was unaware that I was crying in sorrow.
* * *
When I regained my health, it wasn’t only Johann who resumed our physical relationship.
“Ahh, mmm, Major…”
The Major, who had not called Brigitta for a while, summoned her again and pressed her against me.
‘It seems like the Major cared about my health all this time. As if he liked me not just physically but emotionally…’
But could a man who likes me really show me how he’s having s-x with another woman? I didn’t know what feelings the Major had for me, nor was I curious.
Clap!
“Ahh!”
“Faster! You’re as slow as a pig.”
I ignored the sight of the two bodies pressed together in bed and continued with my cleaning. It’s said that if you run away in fear from a dog, it will chase you.
Until recently, I had tried to ignore it, but after knowing that I had witnessed even more shocking scenes in the past, I no longer had to make an effort not to see them. I continued with my thoughts as usual.
“I love you.”
Since the day I realized that Johann never called my name during s-x, and that he never attached my name to his declarations of love, I began to interpret his confessions with my mind rather than feel them with my heart.
“Rize, my love. Did you have a good dream last night?”
Yet, it wasn’t always the case that there was no name tag attached to his declarations of love. Sometimes, when he specifically addressed me, he would say he loved me. So I was confused.
“I love you, Rize.”
He loves me?
Johann says he loves me. He loves me, not another woman.
Just as I would rise to heaven, I would soon falter and tumble straight into hell.
He must love me because he loves another woman and sees me as a reflection of her.
…Still, he says he loves me.
If he loves me only because he loves another woman, then ultimately, he loves that woman and not me.
No, if even a fragile love for me exists within Johann’s vast heart, that’s enough for me. I’ll nurture that tiny sprout until it grows into a full-fledged plant, covering all of Johann’s feelings with love for me. I’ll make sure that the affection he has for another woman withers and dies away.
Even though I am not that other woman, as long as I am by his side, I will make every effort to claim all of Johann’s love for myself.
At that time, I was holding onto that fragile hope and making a shallow resolution. The Major barked a command.
“Suck it clean.”
Thinking he was addressing me, I quickly went out of my daze and turned my head. The Major was directing Brigitta, who was kneeling on the floor, to clean his member with her mouth. When he said ‘clean it’, he meant to suck and clean off the traces left.
‘Disgusting…’
It’s clear that the Major had a major influence on my belief that Johann was still a good husband. At least Johann never forces me to endure disgusting acts in bed.
