I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 97
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
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“Oh. I went to help Mrs. Bauer today, and the ladies…”
If Johann could lie for our peace, so could I.
“…I’m sorry.”
But then, I immediately felt guilty for apologizing. However, Johann wouldn’t know what I was apologizing for. He had to remain unaware.
“Are you, are you angry?”
Actually, Johann’s expression seemed less like anger and more like disbelief—he was having trouble fully believing my words.
“I was just trying to make you happy…”
“I’m not angry. I was just surprised.”
Only then did Johann’s expression soften back to its usual gentle demeanor.
“Rize, I’m happy just seeing you live and breathe every moment. You don’t need to go to such lengths to make me happy.”
“It wasn’t… good enough?”
“It’s not that. What I mean is, you don’t need to put in extra effort for me.”
“…Why not?”
Is it because I’m just a stand-in for the woman you love? Because Dana wouldn’t do such vulgar things? Do you want me to act just like Dana?
I was both fearful and curious about the reason. But Johann didn’t answer. Instead, he gazed steadily into my eyes and smiled as if there was nothing he could do.
“I can’t seem to get you to change your mind.”
He thought I wasn’t genuinely asking but rather being stubborn and insisting on doing things my way.
“If you really want to do something for me…”
Johann gently tapped the corners of my mouth that had drooped.
“Just smile at me. With the eyes of someone who loves.”
I could feel my lips instinctively curling up.
“That’s something I can always do. Even if you tell me not to, I will.”
It seemed so simple that it felt almost trivial.
“I thought you’d ask me to drink milk.”
“I’ve given up on that.”
Johann, demonstrating his resignation, flopped down into a chair and extended his hand to me. When I took his hand, he pulled me around and set me gently on his lap, as if we were dancing.
He wrapped his arms around me, making me curl up with my legs bent. I buried my face under his chin and sighed languidly. Nestling into Johann’s embrace felt incredibly cozy.
“Johann…”
And there was doubt.
It seemed like this was just another way to keep me from disturbing his work. Just wrapping me up wouldn’t stop me from getting in his way. I interrupted Johann again as he reached for his pen.
“Did you like it, or not?”
Johann’s throat reddened with embarrassment, even though he knew what I was asking without needing to say it explicitly. The man who could freely indulge in all sorts of lewd acts with me was shy about speaking it out loud. What could be so indecent about saying it was good?
“Johann, answer me.”
“You’re asking even though you know the answer.”
“I want to hear it in your voice.”
The moans resonated in Johann’s throat, reaching my forehead pressed against his.
“You seem to enjoy putting me in difficult positions.”
“Why would it be difficult? If you asked, I could spend an hour telling you how much I enjoyed it.”
“Do it.”
“…What?”
“Right now.”
“Right now?”
Johann abruptly stopped his pen and stared down at me. My cheeks flushed red.
“Ask me after we’re done.”
After I’ve forgotten all my embarrassment.
“Rize, do you think I’ll forget if you say that? I’ll remember and make sure to ask.”
It seemed Johann had started to enjoy putting me in difficult situations as well. After laughing heartily and turning me as red as the tulips by the window, he confessed that he was so thrilled he couldn’t contain himself. His words made it almost impossible for me to keep my lips from curling up.
I almost got caught in my excitement, but at least I achieved my goal. I asked him like a winner showing off a medal.
“Johann, you love even the lewd Rize, right?”
“Of course. I love only you, and I want to know only you…”
I felt at ease. Perhaps it was the relaxation or the warmth of Johann’s embrace, but drowsiness soon took over. I fell asleep in Johann’s arms while he was grading homework. Although the position was uncomfortable, it was the sweetest and deepest sleep I had since regaining my memories.
That night, I forgot about Dana.
* * *
The thought of forgetting was proof that I hadn’t forgotten.
About ten days later, we attended the wedding of a farm couple we had known since our time in Mullenbach. The bride was the second daughter of the farm family, and the groom was a sergeant stationed at a bunker.
In other words, half of the guests were soldiers, making it a wedding that the villagers were reluctant to attend. Still, a fair number of townspeople came to the marriage ceremony at the church, but only half of them showed up at the reception held at the bride’s home.
Especially noticeable was the absence of young ladies. It was obvious that the soldiers would be drinking and pestering the young girls.
Feeling the cold stares of the townspeople, the command post sent military police to the sergeant’s wedding to show their intention to prevent any untoward incidents. Even with this reassurance, most of the village women at the reception were either married or middle-aged.
Among the few young ladies present, one happened to be particularly forward with Johann.
