I Pray That You Forget Me - Chapter 99
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
read more chapters on luna kofi
“Jealousy?”
He caught me. My shoulders instinctively tensed.
“You think I see my students as women? I’m your husband…”
“Did you really not see her that way? Swear to God!”
“Rize… what kind of man do you think I am?”
A hypocrite who fears God yet commits adultery. I still love Johann, but my trust in him has eroded. Once I noticed the flaws I hadn’t seen before, they kept gnawing at me. After recognizing Johann’s contradictions, I began to see others I’d overlooked.
Even during today’s wedding mass, reflecting on our second marriage, I uncovered more of his hypocrisy.
‘Johann promised to take only me, Rize, as his wife. Didn’t that mean he would completely forget about her and love only me from then on?’
‘Then why did he mention Dana’s name during our first wedding ceremony?’
‘…‘
‘Don’t forget, Johann gave me Dana’s necklace only after that ceremony. His second vow didn’t promise fidelity to me alone.’
‘So, ultimately, that vow was untrustworthy too…’
I constantly battled within myself, and in the end, I found myself defending Johann. Now I know: Johann is an untrustworthy man.
Yet I still love him, which means I truly do love him.
“It’s not your fault.”
I’ve become a hypocrite for loving a hypocrite.
“That girl….”
She just sees you as a man I started to say, but hesitated. My jealousy and blame for a girl ten years younger than me made me feel even younger.
“Rize, she’s just a student, a girl in her teens who admires adults. Everyone goes through that phase.”
Seeing Johann defend her made it clear he felt the same way about me—that I wasn’t mature enough. It made me want to cry like a child again.
“But you, in front of her, were really mature. I thought the old you had returned.”
“Really?”
“Then why did you turn into a child again in front of me?”
“…Really?”
Johann smiled at me, as if he couldn’t help it, seeing that I was on the verge of tears again.
“That means you like me. It shows how much you rely on me, and I like that.”
“Do you really like this version of me?”
I still couldn’t fully trust him, so I asked again.
“So, do you love the jealous Rize?”
“I love her. Passionately.”
I felt a rush of embarrassment for being jealous, but I couldn’t help but smile brightly. Seeing me like that, Johann let out a deep sigh.
“I’m the real sinner here, feeling prideful while my wife commits the deadly sin of jealousy.”
“Then are we going to hell together? I’m fine with that.”
“…You think hell is a good thing?”
“Because we wouldn’t be apart even in death.”
Johann’s face, which had been smiling, suddenly turned sad. Even as a joke, mentioning hell felt heavy. But the thought of falling into hell together echoed something he used to say in bed with me.
Johann knows. He knows he’s destined to fall into hell because of his infidelity. If I wanted to be with him in death, I had to be a sinner too.
If loving a man who deceived me was a sin, I’d welcome that.
I committed another deadly sin—lust—through that deep, long kiss behind the warehouse. After fixing my smudged lipstick, Johann reached out his hand, suggesting we return to where people were gathered.
“You said it wouldn’t be polite for the guests to see a bride more beautiful than the bride.”
I took his hand willingly, but pretended to pout.
“So that was just to comfort me since you could see right through me? I thought you truly believed that.”
“Why would you think it wasn’t genuine?”
Johann tilted my hat down, as if wanting to hide my face. But even that wouldn’t conceal my upturned lips.
“You should be hiding away for the groom’s sake.”
Despite saying we should hide together, we mingled among the guests, watching and celebrating as the bride and groom went through the reception rituals.
Then, unexpectedly, something happened that made us truly need to hide—a guest had arrived.
“…Major Felkner?”
