I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 104
It should have been familiar by now, yet it felt new every time – anticipating how the other might react, the expressions they might make. Even when you think you know, facing them brings a fresh perspective.
With her eyes closed, Sarubia accepted Rufus’s breath.
Moist warmth gently stirred within her mouth. A warm, sticky sensation pleasantly took over her body.
“Haah…”
She felt breathless. It was as if all her breath was being taken away by him.
Rufus was impatient, tilting his head, asking for a kiss from Sarubia.
There was no escape.
The thin blanket on the makeshift bed wrinkled under them.
Every time Sarubia tried to escape the sensations washing over her, Rufus deepened his embrace.
Through the thin fabric, she could feel Rufus’s body against hers. With every breath, his tongue moistened Sarubia’s lips once more.
Her body heated up, unable to withstand it, simply swept away helplessly.
As Rufus became more daring, Sarubia found herself unable to think.
This man knew no moderation.
Pleasure endlessly flowed through their tightly pressed lips. She swallowed the hot breath that slipped through the cracks, over and over.
“I’m sorry for being so cutting this morning.”
While showering Sarubia with kisses, Rufus muttered.
“I shouldn’t have reacted that way when you said you’d come with me… I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. What’s with all the apologies over such trivial matters?”
Sarubia, smiling, caressed Rufus’s face.
Rufus had an odd expression, as if he was about to cry yet smiling.
What was this man thinking now?
“I was scared you might be hurt because of me.”
At that, Sarubia chuckled softly.
“Scared?”
“Yes.”
Rufus murmured, burying his head in Sarubia’s shoulder.
“I was afraid that you might be upset because of me, turn away from me while feeling hurt… That’s why I was scared.”
Without saying anything, Sarubia simply smiled brightly and stroked the man’s hair.
Scared, he said. The man who fought against countless demons on the battlefield, who even beheaded the ghastly demon lord, was afraid for such a reason.
“Why were you so scared?”
“You really don’t know why?”
Rufus kissed her again. This time, the kiss lingered until much later.
“Because I love you.”
Behind the departing lips, the man whispered.
At that straightforward confession,
“Haha.”
Sarubia let out a laugh she didn’t see coming.
When Sarubia first met Rufus, she thought of him as a tree.
A man who, no matter how much time passed, no matter how fierce the storms, no matter how harsh the winter, would shield his eyes, clench his teeth, and swallow his emotions—a seemingly indifferent man.
Yet, there was a time when the eyes of this seemingly cold man sparkled.
Whenever he looked at her.
Being the sole focus of that gaze turned out to be quite splendid.
“…But, Lord Rufus.”
Sarubia took a deep breath.
“Why do you love me?”
She always wondered. What was it about her that Rufus had fallen for?
Was it because she was a saintess? Because she was kind to him? Or was it her appearance that he liked?
But his response was calm.
“Because there’s no reason not to love you.”
Sarubia stared blankly at Rufus.
No reason not to love her?
How could he say such a thing? Did he understand the weight of his words?
“Um, you might regret it later.”
Sarubia stumbled, shaking her head.
“I’m not as good as you think. You don’t know me well enough yet.”
“Maybe so.”
“I’m stubborn. I never compromise with others. Sometimes I can be very unpleasant. And, I’m quite gullible.”
“I see.”
“And I’m not that smart. I’ve lived my life doing menial tasks, so I’m not good at paperwork. Besides…”
“Sarubia.”
Rufus took her hand.
It was small and delicate, as if it could be pricked by a thorn at any moment, trembling vulnerably.
He loved even these fragile hands.
“Loving you is my choice.”
Slowly and carefully, Rufus’s lips touched the back of Sarubia’s hand. His eyes were fixed solely on her.
Sarubia gazed blankly at Rufus.
It started as a small realization. Rufus’s answer led Sarubia to understand something she had never realized in her entire life.
Ah.
I, too, can stand at the end of someone’s gaze.
I, too, can be desired by someone.
I, too, can be the center of someone’s world.
Me.
Someone as small and insignificant as me, utterly lacking and lowly, can monopolize someone’s attention.
“Sarubia.”
The man holding her repeated her name.
And then he said,
“I love you.”
He said it again.
“I am in love with you.”
Hearing those words,
“Ahaha.”
She felt like crying.
It was all so strange.
Being held in the arms of a man she had never known before, feeling emotions she had never experienced, submerged in a happiness she had never known—it all seemed so peculiar.
Could this be a dream?
Maybe it was her vain imagination. Perhaps she was overwhelmed with thoughts because she had worked too hard. Maybe all of this was just a part of a daydream.
But no matter how hard she tried to wake up, no matter how much she tried to escape, she felt like she was melting in an overflow of happiness that kept rising and flooding over her.
