I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 117
Rufus was gripped by fear.
Fear. That was the precise feeling.
The man who had once beheaded a demon king, who had struck down the crown prince and ascended to the throne, who had nonchalantly offered his own son’s head to the king, was now trembling helplessly in fear because of the words of a mere maid.
Rufus hated the king. He wanted to kill him and all his children. That’s why he killed Prince Tarek first. He felt no guilt about it.
But Sarubia?
What would Sarubia think of Rufus, who had killed Prince Tarek?
Could she understand him?
What would she think of him?
From her perspective, he was a murderer who had killed a member of her country’s royal family without any personal grievance…
—A murderer.
The word murderer flashed through Rufus’s mind.
He had killed a man. He had committed murder.
Rufus’s heart began to race wildly.
Would she see him… as a murderer?
The fear quickly morphed into despair, tightening around his throat.
—I’ll be abandoned.
She will run away from me. She will hate me for killing the royalty. She will blame me for what I have done.
I will lose her.
As that thought reached him, the unstable emotions that Rufus had been forcefully suppressing began to erupt.
“Sarubia, this matter…”
He felt compelled to say something.
Any excuse would do, not necessarily a sophisticated or embellished lie, but he wanted to explain himself.
However, no words came out. The shallow excuses swirling in his mind solidified like wax in cold water.
Once again, it was Rufus’s fault. He was still arrogant, complacent, and rash.
He thought Sarubia wouldn’t know. Even knowing that Sarubia was a saintess who could predict death, he had not considered that she might have seen the deaths of all the royals.
Rufus realized just how foolish and inferior he was.
Why wasn’t he meticulous?
Why wasn’t he prudent?
Why wasn’t he calculative?
Why.
I am…
So…
“Sarubia…”
Rufus took a step towards Sarubia.
“Listen to me. I can explain. I…”
He began to speak again, but his twisted tongue spat out only meaningless words.
The man desperately thought of how he could appeal to her. Or how he could justify the sins he had committed.
It was for you.
I wanted to protect you.
I hoped you wouldn’t die.
I wished you could live happily for a long time.
I thought that by eliminating all the royals who wanted me dead, you and I could be together for a long time.
So, I did it, for you…
No.
For you… can I really say that?
Sarubia could not remember how she died. Only Rufus and the demon king Audixus remembered their past lives. It’s clear that Sarubia, who did not remember, wouldn’t believe even if the king told her he killed her.
What should I do?
Suddenly, Rufus had an idea.
The witch, Odr.
A witch would know all about cursed magic. He thought of asking her to erase Sarubia’s memories.
—No, that wouldn’t work.
Sarubia was a saintess. Witchcraft wouldn’t work on her.
Then let’s make a potion. Yes, even if she is a saint, the potion would work.
He would ask Doctor Dean from the Inferna Barony. He was skilled enough to create a potion that could cause short-term memory loss.
No. This method wouldn’t work either. Sarubia might have seen the deaths of the royals a long time ago. If all those memories were to be erased…
He didn’t want to erase the time they had spent together.
Then, if not that…
No matter how much he thought, he could find no solution.
How could he appeal to her? No matter how much he pondered with his dull mind, he couldn’t find a way.
“…Why.”
After a long silence, Rufus barely managed to speak.
“Why, knowing all along… did you tell everyone else that Prince Tarek was alive?”
He couldn’t understand.
If Sarubia knew that Prince Tarek had already been killed, why did she tell the search teams, including the commanders, that he was alive?
Then this answer came.
“For you.”
“For me…”
Stupidly, like a parrot, he repeated the phrase.
For me. For me, what does that mean?
“If I said the prince was alive, everyone would continue the search. Otherwise, they would stop searching and execute you immediately. That’s why I said it.”
……
Rufus’s heart sank.
Only then did Rufus realize why Sarubia had insisted on following him to the border.
She had known it from the beginning. She had known that Rufus had killed Prince Tarek even before it started.
“Sarubia, I…”
“Lord Rufus.”
Sarubia’s calm voice pierced the cold night air.
“It’s okay.”
Towards a stiffened Rufus, Sarubia extended her arms.
A warm aura enveloped Rufus’s shoulders. Rufus numbly watched as Sarubia kissed him.
“I won’t blame you.”
Once again, Sarubia approached Rufus and kissed him.
“It’s the path you chose. How could I possibly stop you?”
Another tender kiss came to Rufus.
“I know there’s a reason behind everything you do. You must have had your reasons for killing Prince Tarek.”
