I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 136
“…Alright.”
Sarubia, who had been pressing her lips together, finally nodded.
“I trust you, Rufus.”
“Thank you, Sarubia.”
“You should thank me, of course.”
Sarubia let out a soft sigh.
“Rufus, sometimes I want to crack open your head.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I want to read the thoughts inside your head. Even now, I have no idea what you’re thinking.”
Sarubia stroked Rufus’s hair. Her slender fingers combed through his hair, spreading warmth.
Feeling the pleasant sensation, Rufus closed his eyes.
“Your head must be filled with things I could never anticipate. And you never tell me about them.”
“….”
Without a word, Rufus listened intently to Sarubia’s voice.
Was she feeling disappointed? Was she upset because Rufus told her nothing?
“Rufus, what are you thinking about right now?”
Her calm voice asked him.
“You.”
That was the only answer he could give.
He didn’t know any other answer.
You. Thinking about you. That’s all there was.
Sarubia.
For you.
If it’s for you.
If it’s for you, I can kill anyone.
So I’ll kill them all.
That’s why I live.
Everything, all of it, is for you.
“…Thank you.”
Sarubia smiled gently.
“For what?”
“For holding me in your heart.”
Sarubia continued to stroke Rufus’s hair.
“Rufus, sometimes I think about this. There are so many people in this world, and in the end, they all die someday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“In other words, we’re living with people who are all dying.”
“….”
Rufus listened closely to Sarubia’s calm voice.
Living with dying people…
It sounded terribly ominous and unsettling. But it wasn’t wrong.
As Sarubia said, everyone in this world is dying. From the moment they’re born, they’re dying. Baroness Inferna, Edel, Rufus…
And Sarubia too…
Rufus’s cold gaze rested on Sarubia.
Caught by his gaze, Sarubia smiled sweetly.
“Rufus, I’m really happy.”
“Why?”
“….”
There was no reply.
Sarubia, her face blossoming with a smile, remained silent for a while. Rufus didn’t press her.
He could wait. Just looking at her was enough.
Just seeing her gentle smile was enough.
Just having her alive and breathing warmly in front of him was enough.
That was all he needed.
That was enough to live.
Because that was all he had lived for.
“Rufus.”
With her gentle call, Rufus’s image was reflected in her eyes, which seemed to hold the sun. Like debris trapped in amber, the man was captivated by those eyes.
A man clinging to emptiness, worn down and crumbling like a rotting old tree.
The only thing that made such a man shine was…
“Among all these dying people, I’m truly happy to die with you.”
A smile like a snowflower melted at the corners of Sarubia’s eyes.
With that one sentence, Rufus’s heart fell like winter snow.
It felt like he was freezing.
His whole body tingled. The familiar air entering and leaving his lungs felt strangely new.
Sarubia was confessing her love to him.
However.
“Sarubia…”
He couldn’t just smile.
“…Please.”
Please, I beg you.
“Don’t talk about dying in front of me.”
His lips trembled.
Ached at the center of his chest. It was a crushing pressure, like swallowing strong liquor.
Sarubia simply smiled faintly.
“I don’t say things that aren’t true, Rufus.”
“…”
Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind.
—What kind of death will Sarubia face?
Sarubia’s unique magic was seeing people’s deaths. Could she see her own death as well?
He wanted to ask, but he couldn’t.
He wanted to know, but he didn’t.
He didn’t want to think about her death. He knew well that she was a human with a frail body, but he couldn’t accept the fact that she would someday die.
As Sarubia said, one day death would separate them.
This love, too, would end someday.
Humans are such weak and insignificant beings. Born tearing through a mother’s flesh, screaming in pain, only to suffocate so easily and close their eyes forever.
And die like that.
The cold, lifeless body buried under the soil, rotting away.
After death, all that remains is a pretty name and a worthless gravestone.
Thinking about how the time spent with her would end so meaninglessly…
“…No.”
If that was the fate they had to die,
Then perhaps,
It would have been better not to be born human at all.
Perhaps,
If he couldn’t live forever, he wished he had been born as a demon, enjoying a tiresomely long lifespan…
Wait a minute.
‘What am I thinking?’
Rufus was startled by the thought that had flashed through his mind.
Wishing he had been born a demon?
He was thinking something deserving of divine punishment. How could he want to be born as that despicable race?
‘I am human. I will never abandon my pride as a human.’
