I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 190
Sarubia stood frozen in place, gripping the dagger tightly.
It felt as though roots had sprouted from her feet, anchoring her to the spot. She couldn’t move. The blue blood of the toad monsters slowly ate away at her skin, burning like fire, but she remained still.
It was over.
The death of Prince Camus, which Sarubia had glimpsed years ago, had come to pass.
The prince, now a mangled body, had died in the dark forest in the middle of the night.
And the one who delivered the final blow to Prince Camus was none other than—
“…”
Sarubia slowly raised her head.
Her breath came out in pale clouds against the cold air.
For a long while, she stood silently in front of Prince Camus’s corpse.
Her mind was blank.
She had become so accustomed to death that it barely affected her anymore. Death had been part of her life since she was a child. It was impossible to feel endless grief.
Human death was inevitable, a fate that no amount of struggle could change. Despairing over an unchangeable fate was foolish—utterly foolish.
So, instead of feeling anything at all, she chose not to think.
All humans die. The only difference is how they die. There was no need to feel guilty, no reason to suffer.
Prince Camus had been destined to die. It just so happened that she became the cause of his death.
And so…
At this moment, feeling nothing wasn’t wrong.
I was simply fulfilling the prophecy I had seen in the future.
“Sarubia!”
Suddenly, a frantic voice called out from behind her. When she turned, the one person in this world who still meant something to her came into view.
“Rufus.”
“Sarubia!”
Rufus’s arms wrapped tightly around Sarubia’s shoulders. She gasped as his grip pulled her into his embrace, leaving her powerless to resist.
The familiar scent surrounded her.
“Sarubia, are you alright?”
Breathing heavily, Rufus gently touched her cheek, as if making sure she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.
Surrendering herself to the comforting scent she had grown used to, Sarubia smiled softly.
“I’m alright.”
“Sarubia…”
Rufus’s fingers trembled as they caressed her face, stained with drops of blood.
“What happened? Are you hurt? Did Prince Camus—?”
“Prince Camus is dead.”
Sarubia’s calm words seemed to soothe Rufus, as if to ease his concern.
It was then that Rufus noticed the lifeless body of the prince lying behind her.
The prince’s corpse had been torn apart, as if gnawed by the toad monsters, leaving it barely recognizable. How had a powerful royal, one imbued with such strong magic, been overcome by mere low-level creatures? But that no longer mattered.
“Sarubia…”
Confirming that she was safe, Rufus buried his face into her shoulder.
She was warm.
Leaning into that unbearable warmth, Rufus closed his eyes. He bit down on his lip, but he couldn’t hold it back.
His throat burned, as if it had swallowed fire. He felt like raw, childish emotions would burst out at any moment. He clenched his fists, unwilling to show his vulnerability, but the overwhelming surge of emotion wouldn’t subside.
As the gentle winter breeze swept over them, Sarubia’s warmth grew even more intense. Resting against her small, fragile body, as brittle as the bare branches of winter trees, Rufus finally began to calm down.
Up until this very moment, as he pushed his horse to its limits, desperately searching for Sarubia, Rufus had been consumed by his thoughts, over and over again.
If, once again, I’ve lost Sarubia…
If, once again, I’ve lost the meaning to my life…
What would become of me?
What would happen to me, left behind in a world without Sarubia?
No, I do not want that.
He couldn’t even imagine a world without her. Such a world couldn’t exist, because if she were gone, there would be no reason for him to continue living.
That’s how desperate he was. He was anxious, unsettled. Afraid. Terrified.
He despaired.
Sharp fear gripped Rufus, throat choked with breath unshed.
He hated himself. Hated himself for failing to protect her, for letting her be taken away. He was disgusted with his own helplessness.
Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of times he had called her name.
Sarubia.
Sarubia.
Sarubia.
Every fiber of his being was attuned to her, reaching out for her.
And then, when he finally laid eyes on her, alive and breathing—
Only then could he breathe again, like a human being.
“Rufus… Are you crying?”
Sarubia’s soft voice reached him as she looked up at him, resting against his shoulder.
“…I thought I lost you.”
“What?”
“I thought… I was going to lose you again.”
Again? What does he mean by that?
“That won’t happen, Rufus.”
A gentle smile formed on Sarubia’s lips, her golden eyes gleaming brightly as she spoke.
“You promised, didn’t you? You’d die one day before me.”
The man’s arms wrapped around the woman tightly.
As if drowning, desperately needing air, he pressed his face deeper into her. The sound of his labored breathing, almost like a sob, escaped between their close bodies.
Clatter.
The dagger Sarubia had been holding fell to the ground.
Unwiped drops of blood soaked into the dry earth. The toad monsters, quick to act, rushed over and began to tear at the bloodstained blade. The sharp metal, like paper caught in flames, disappeared without a trace. Yet even as they witnessed this astonishing sight, neither Sarubia nor Rufus paid it any mind.
Like abandoned animals licking each other’s wounds, they simply held each other, comforting one another.
That was all.
There was nothing else they could do.
The witch Odr’s words had not been wrong.
Love was a curse, and it had driven them both mad.
And neither of them could escape it.
