I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 199
Sarubia knew well that Rufus had many secrets he kept from her. He was that kind of man—the type who would rather starve to death than admit hunger to her. The kind who would ensure she was well-fed while going hungry himself.
The persistent, single-minded protection Rufus showed could feel overwhelming at times, like a treatment that didn’t quite fit her.
But she didn’t push him away. It was, after all, his way of offering her his sincere affection.
No matter how twisted and rough the garden that nurtured it, who could dismiss the fragrance of a flower? No matter how imperfect his feelings might be, what right did she have to deny or reject them? After all, he was also doing his utmost to love her.
She wanted him to be happy. At least when he was with her, Sarubia hoped Rufus could put aside all his worries, even just for a while.
“Am I too heavy?”
Sarubia whispered, staring intently at Rufus.
“No.”
“Are you sure I’m not heavy?”
“Yes.”
“Oh dear, that must mean there’s nothing in my head, and that’s why I’m so light.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
With a stiff expression, Rufus cut off her teasing.
Sarubia licked her lips like a cat toying with a mouse, then began fiddling with his leg. Rufus sighed softly and stroked her soft, golden hair.
Was she trying to comfort him?
Rufus knew Sarubia often held back a great deal for his sake. She was that kind of woman. Even if she were on the brink of death, she wouldn’t shed a tear just to see him smile one last time. Instead, she’d offer him some lighthearted joke.
Sometimes, he regretted the gentleness in her words, as if she were treating him like a child.
But he didn’t blame her—it was simply her way of showing love.
By nature, he was a small, insignificant person who didn’t even deserve her comfort. Yet she had called his name, held him until the end.
Only when she spoke his name again did Rufus feel as if he could exist again.
Rufus looked down into Sarubia’s eyes as she lay on his lap.
“Sarubia.”
“Yes?”
“…Sarubia.”
“Why do you keep saying my name?”
“…I love you.”
Sarubia chuckled softly at his sudden confession. For any reason, at any time, receiving affection from someone was always a heartwarming experience. All the more so if it was from someone as precious as him.
“So out of the blue.”
She teased him, her words light with laughter.
Instead of responding, Rufus’s shadow fell over her face.
“I love you, and you love me. Isn’t that enough?”
Rufus’s breath brushed her lips. Her heart, locked away within her, pounded wildly, heating up with every beat.
Entwined in each other’s embrace, their shadows did not separate for a long time.
* * *
It was night.
The cemetery was as still as death after the funeral. Like a place in the land of the dead where ghosts linger, only the occasional winter breeze sighed, with no other signs of life.
The servants left to guard the graves were utterly exhausted.
They had been in a frenzy preparing the funeral, and with two princes meeting tragic ends on the same night, it had been even more taxing.
The servants had shoveled dirt to the specifications of each coffin, packed the surrounding earth, and carefully buried the princes’ coffins beneath the ground, making sure everything was flawless, especially with the king in attendance. They hadn’t even dared to take a sip of water.
By the end of the funeral, their work only grew busier. They collected tear-stained handkerchiefs left by guests, swept the flower-covered platform, and finally straightened the princes’ headstones once more.
Only after the king left, beating his chest in grief, did the servants finally have a chance to breathe.
They huddled inside a small hut near the princes’ graves, sheltering from the cold.
“Brr, it’s freezing.”
“Feels like the chill’s reaching my bones.”
They gathered around the crackling fireplace.
“Looks like I’ve lived way too long. I never thought I’d see a day where two princes died at once.”
The eldest servant, an old man, hung a pot over the fire. His wife, an elderly woman, quickly tossed in diced potatoes.
Normally, they would have used whole potatoes, but the hour was already well past midnight, and their stomachs, worn from a long day of hard work, could wait no longer. They’d diced the potatoes to make the meal cook faster.
“I’ve worked as a gravekeeper for the palace for over sixty years, and this is the first time two royals died at once.”
“That’s true. I’m worried for the stability of the kingdom,” a young servant replied, echoing the elder’s sentiments.
The old man frowned slightly.
“What’s there to be worried about?”
“With two princes gone so suddenly, why wouldn’t we be worried? If something goes wrong and, heaven forbid, the Crown Prince dies too, then the royal bloodline will be cut off.”
