I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 223
When the Matriarch of Inferna first learned that Rufus had been conscripted into the demon subjugation campaign, she thought:
If only I were ten years younger.
If she had been ten years younger, she could have petitioned the King to let her go to the battlefield in Rufus’s place.
Even if it meant being torn apart and devoured by demons, she couldn’t bear to send Rufus to war.
She didn’t want to see her young kin lose his life before her own.
She simply wished for someone who shared her blood to live just a little longer.
For such a selfish reason.
But the Baroness was too old to wield a sword, and she had a duty to care for the barony’s residents and her other, still-young grandson.
On the night Rufus left for the battlefield, the Baroness wept for the first time.
“I’ll be back,” he’d said, leaving with just those simple, calm words. The memory of her grandson’s departure flashed in her mind, and she clenched her jaw.
You stubborn fool.
If only he had cried, screamed that he didn’t want to go, or begged not to die at the hands of demons. If he had done so, she could have offered him even a shred of comfort. But why was he so like her, so unyieldingly stubborn?
She bit her lip until it bled. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth, but she didn’t care.
None of it mattered.
The Baroness thought herself the most indifferent person alive. Even after losing her husband, her only son, and standing at her daughter-in-law’s grave, she had never shed a tear. She hadn’t blinked, even once, during their funerals. Instead, she immediately removed her mourning veil and returned to her office to handle matters for the barony.
Yet how had a mere grandson—a boy too young even to inherit the title—so audacious and insolent, reduced her to such a weak and vulnerable state?
It must be because I’m getting old.
Silently stifling her tears, the Baroness consoled herself with that thought.
Old fool. She blamed her sentimentality and believed she’d feel better in a few days.
Whether Rufus survived or perished on the battlefield, she had a barony to manage and a duty to uphold as the head of the Inferna family.
But her fragile heart didn’t heal so easily. She didn’t sleep soundly a single night. For months, she lay awake, praying every night for Rufus’s safe return.
And finally, Rufus came back alive, hailed as a hero for slaying the Demon King.
Though Rufus had instructed the Baroness not to come to the capital, she couldn’t stay still.
Her grandson had returned from the jaws of death. It felt like regaining a lost child. How could she remain calm?
That was why she traveled to the kingdom’s capital—to see him again, even if only for a day, an hour, or a minute sooner.
When they all finally returned to their homeland, she thought they could finally live in harmony again, like before.
But Rufus…
“…You can leave so easily, can’t you?”
So indifferent, so coldly resolute.
The Baroness stared out the window. The servants were still busy unloading the herbs from the wagons.
Rufus.
I truly don’t understand. I no longer know what you want, what you value, or what you’re fighting for. I can’t tell what’s important to you anymore.
But, simply…
“…Take care of yourself, you ungrateful brat.”
Wherever you go, whatever you do, I’ll find myself thinking of you from time to time.
***
“Rufus, you were wrong.”
“About what?”
“Barely a few days after coming home, and you’re already heading back to the capital. The Baroness must be heartbroken.”
“But it’s a direct order from the Crown Prince.”
Resting his chin on his hand, Rufus looked across at Sarubia.
The delivery of Cytiro and other herbs from Iruel had arrived at the Inferna household just before noon. Rufus and Sarubia departed the estate later that afternoon.
They hitched a ride with one of the coachmen, who had been planning to return to the capital. With no other deliveries on the way and a generous payment promised, the coachman gladly agreed.
“……”
Sarubia, seated across from Rufus, stared intently at him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Rufus, you’re hiding something from me again, aren’t you?”
Plenty, Rufus thought to himself. But aloud, he said, “Nothing.”
“Really? Can I trust you on that? Ah—!”
The carriage jolted violently, and Sarubia lost her balance, tipping to the side.
“Sarubia!”
Without thinking, Rufus lunged forward and caught her just as she was about to fall onto the seat.
“Be careful.”
“T-Thank you.”
Sarubia, still in Rufus’s arms, tried to sit back up. But his arms didn’t loosen their hold on her.
“What’s wrong, Rufus?”
She looked up at him in confusion, only to see him gazing down at her intently.
“Why aren’t you saying anything, Rufus?”
“…Can I kiss you?”
