I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 5
“…May I ask the reason?”
“The reason? Well, because you’re handsome.”
“Just because of that?”
“Is there a more precious privilege than kissing a handsome man?”
Sarubia giggled.
“So, will you repay the favor with a kiss?”
The maid playfully urged Rufus on.
“I never thought you would ask for something like this.”
Rufus honestly expressed his thoughts.
“I didn’t even consider making this kind of request.”
“Well, I just thought of it now. Be thankful for your handsome face.”
The maid smiled as she took a step toward Rufus. She then reached out and placed her arms around his shoulders.
At first, Rufus didn’t realize what was happening. However, the sensation of their lips meeting and their breaths mingling felt incredibly unfamiliar and strange. He couldn’t help but feel it.
‘What is this?’
Rufus was bewildered by Sarubia’s inexplicable behavior.
His head was spinning. The girl’s face, which he had not paid much attention to before, was now etched in his mind as her eyes, which he hadn’t noticed until now, were closed.
Then, a certain impulse arose within him.
It was a very trivial and petty impulse.
Given his fate, being pushed into the battlefield, torn away from his loved ones, and reduced to a mere pawn on the battlefield, Rufus was about to lose everything he had.
So.
Why not be a little greedy now?
Just a little, just a tiny bit more.
Would it be so wrong to cling to this woman?
He knew that even thinking such a thing was a tremendous discourtesy to the other person. Nevertheless, Rufus couldn’t suppress that impulse.
Her small body that he was embracing felt unreasonably warm.
Fine. You started this.
Rufus embraced the maid without hesitation. Then, he leaned forward and gave her a passionate kiss.
Sarubia, taken aback by Rufus’s sudden action, briefly froze. But soon, she placed her hand on his chest and leaned into him.
Their lips didn’t quite meet at first.
It was their first time. They were inexperienced, and above all, they were uncomfortable with what they were doing.
And yet, they couldn’t stop.
Rufus’s hot breath, diving recklessly, their awkward touches, and clumsy gestures.
Sarubia accepted it all without a word.
It wasn’t until some time had passed that Rufus finally released her.
“You’re really not good at this.”
Out of breath, Sarubia blurted out this comment. Rufus unintentionally blushed.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“You’ll have to try harder. Your future wife could get disappointed, you know.”
“…”
Rufus stared at the maid without saying a word.
What should he do now?
It was an impulsive act, but as he calmed down, he felt a sense of responsibility and guilt. A corner of his heart itched with indecision. He found himself unwilling to leave this maid behind.
“Are you considering marrying me just because we exchanged a passionate kiss?”
Sarubia teased Rufus, who stood there foolishly.
“N-Not at all.”
Rufus stammered, feeling embarrassed, but Sarubia burst into laughter.
“You’re cute. Innocent, too. How old are you?”
“I’m probably older than you.”
“Hmm, you certainly look older than me.”
The cheeky maid casually began to tidy up her disheveled hair, humming a tune.
If I were to die
I’d become a single drop of rain
To wipe away your tears.
Her singing voice was clear and melodious, but the lyrics were rather melancholic.
“What song is that?”
Rufus, who had been quietly listening to her song, asked.
“It’s a lullaby.”
“This?”
If I were to die, the lyrics went. Which parents would sing such a song to their child? It’s a bit strange.
Rufus unconsciously furrowed his brow. However, Sarubia didn’t seem to mind at all.
“I should get back to work now. It was nice meeting you.”
After finishing her song, Sarubia politely bowed to Rufus.
“I hope you survive ‘til the end.”
With that, she calmly disappeared. Rufus did not follow after her.
A poor nobleman who had been driven out and a commoner maid working in the princess’s palace. There was nothing connecting the two of them. It was just a fleeting encounter, like a dream on a midsummer night.
Left alone, Rufus stared at the spot where she had disappeared.
—Sarubia.
He held onto that name in his mouth for a long time.
Strange.
A strange woman.
There was nothing more to say than that.
Strange, strange, very strange.
‘…Come to think of it.’
She didn’t ask for his name.
Why didn’t she ask for his name? Along with a slightly hurt feeling, a certain part of Rufus’s heart ached.
Unresolved emotions took root there.
