I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 58
“Lieutenant, I didn’t think you were like that, but my impression of you is slowly deteriorating.”
The sparrow, poking its head out over the witch’s shoulder, smirked mischievously.
“What?”
“Your girlfriend is quite young, y’know? Have you always had such a preference for young women, Lieutenant? Such an odious taste— Ow, ow, ahhh!”
Rufus, having seized the sparrow, mercilessly throttled its neck. The sparrow let out a dying scream, calling for its mother. Witch Odr could only sigh at the expected turn of events.
“Did you enjoy seeing your lover?”
“……”
While disciplining the sparrow, Rufus silently nodded, feeling her warmth still in his hands.
Sarubia from before the three-year war was beyond imagination. And yet, he realized there was so much he didn’t know about her.
She had a habit of kicking off the covers while sleeping. She had clung to him quietly when they slept together, but was that just out of nervousness?
He never knew she kept worms in her room or that she had a hobby of going fishing.
He vaguely knew from their few teatimes together that she enjoyed cookies. But he didn’t realize she loved them so much.
Only then did Rufus understand how little he truly knew about Sarubia.
The time given to them in the previous life was too short. It was woefully insufficient to fully understand her. So much had been missed.
Why was she abandoned as a child? Why did she leave the orphanage to become the princess’s maid? Or why was she hiding the fact that she was a saintess…?
There was a mountain of things to discover.
And that made him happy.
The prospect of spending time with her made his heart flutter with anticipation.
What would her face look like when she found out he knew about her sleeping habit?
What would she think when they went fishing?
What would she say when eating her favorite cookies?
He was unbearably curious.
But he could wait.
Sarubia had said she prayed for him every day. That fact tickled Rufus’s heart once more.
That was enough.
If she remembered him, that was enough.
The mere fact that he had left a mark in her life was enough.
She remembered him, a nobody, who had nothing and whom no one noticed.
That alone was more than enough for happiness.
‘Sarubia.’
As the palace grew distant, Rufus etched her name, which he had called thousands of times, deep in his heart.
Next time they met, he would tell her properly.
Sarubia.
I love you.
***
Left alone in the empty attic, Sarubia gazed up at the moonless sky.
Everything felt like a dream.
Perhaps it was just a fanciful thought in her half-asleep state. No matter how fervently she prayed, the person she longed for couldn’t possibly just appear before her like that.
But to consider it a dream seemed too far-fetched. A half-eaten cookie lay untouched on the windowsill, left by the crow.
Leaning against the window, Sarubia absentmindedly watched the clouds drift across the sky.
A large clump of clouds formed a round shape.
There was Rufus.
Startled, Sarubia jerked back.
What?
She rubbed her eyes hastily and looked at the clouds again.
Gone. There was nothing but white clouds. She must have been mistaken. She had imagined the clouds taking shape into Rufus.
‘Now everything looks like Rufus.’
Sarubia slapped her cheeks with both hands.
She wasn’t in her right mind. She must be too sleepy to think straight.
She lay back down and stared at the ceiling.
It was the familiar ceiling, with its deep stains. But soon, the dingy stains coalesced into a human face.
It was Rufus.
Flutter!
Sarubia kicked off the covers, her ears burning red.
Whether she looked at the clouds or the stains on the ceiling, she kept seeing his face.
What was happening?
‘I’ll start seeing Rufus in the kitchen garbage at this rate…’
Sarubia turned off the lamp and sighed softly.
But what was he trying to say?
She recalled the words Rufus had tried to tell her.
“I’m embarrassed to say this now, but towards you… I…”
I… to you…
What was the word that completed that sentence?
She felt like she knew the end of that sentence. But her thoughts seemed too audacious, and she couldn’t bring herself to put a full stop to it.
“I also…”
After hesitating for a long time, Sarubia murmured into her pillow.
“…I also love you.”
Another sleepless night had come again.
