I Want To Die One Day Before You - Chapter 72
Sometimes, just sometimes.
He had these thoughts.
He loathed himself too much.
He despised himself for continually seeking to kill.
Killing for revenge.
Betraying humanity and losing his pride.
Only for himself, for his own personal revenge, he blindly gave up everything. And yet, he justified it all as being for her protection, all the while hating himself for such hypocrisy.
It was unbearable.
“I hate the idea of being ruined.”
At that moment, Sarubia’s cold voice fell.
Rufus’s heart sank at her words.
She hates it? What does she mean? Does she despise him now? Has she grown tired of someone like him? Or has she cooled towards him out of disappointment?
A sudden, uncontrollable fear engulfed him.
Rufus, without realizing it, tightly grasped Sarubia’s shoulders.
“Sarubia, I…”
“I love you.”
Sarubia cut off Rufus’s words.
“Lord Rufus, I love you.”
With those words, her slender arms tightly embraced Rufus.
Her small hands trembling as she held Rufus. Her voice, fragile as a glass bead on the verge of breaking.
Was she crying?
Rufus looked blankly at the woman embracing him.
Why?
Why are you crying for me?
Why are you shedding tears for such a revolting man as me?
Why, just why?
Her small frame couldn’t fully envelop Rufus, yet she desperately pulled him towards her.
To embrace him as if he might shatter at any moment, not missing even a single piece of him, Sarubia held onto the crumbling man with all her strength.
Because.
“I love you.”
She was prepared to take responsibility for that burdensome phrase.
“It’s important, so I’ll say it four times. I love you. So, please love yourself, who I love.”
With uncontained emotion spilling out, Sarubia gazed intently into the eyes of the man before her.
Those eyes, wounded, abandoned, and frayed, so empty and cruel, those eyes, Sarubia loved the man who bore them.
She couldn’t understand why. Only that when she first met him, when she realized she would be the one to witness his dying breath, she felt an inescapable, blissful sense of defeat, like fate, like the sun rising in the day or the stars shining at night – she couldn’t help but love him.
So.
“You have a duty to love yourself. Because I love you. You are not ruined.”
With those meaningful words, the woman fiercely embraced her beloved.
“……”
Rufus silently gazed at the woman clinging to him.
He knew it.
Somewhere deep down, he knew she would embrace even this part of him.
That’s why he was afraid.
Afraid that he might exploit her kindness to excuse his sins, afraid he might forsake even the last shred of his humanity.
But facing her, all those fears washed away. He felt like he could do anything for her, without any regrets.
Embraced in the arms of the woman who accepted all his flaws, Rufus closed his eyes.
“…I think I can’t live without you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you for life.”
Sarubia chuckled, rolling up her sleeves confidently.
“Who’s taking care of whom?”
“I will take care of you.”
“What will you do with me after you’ve ‘taken care’ of me?”
“Hmm, maybe I’ll put you to work as my husband?”
“I like that idea.”
Emotions began to swell again.
He couldn’t understand it. Just by seeing her, just by touching her fingertips, his heart started to throb painfully. So overwhelming, almost breathless, or perhaps about to drown in sheer happiness.
You always work miracles like this.
Sarubia.
I love you who loves me. And I want to try to love myself, the one who loves you, even just a little.
So.
Just wait a little longer, just a bit more…
That’s when it happened.
Suddenly, he felt something soft hitting his face.
‘Huh?’
It wasn’t painful, but it was annoyingly trivial.
What’s this all of a sudden?
Startled, Rufus opened his eyes wide.
There was a squirrel.
